Friday, June 7th

Available Now: Afgooey, Willy's Wonder, Sour Diesel, Blue Dream, Trainwreck (popcorn nugs) and Green Crack

Thank you for your business and support :-)

**Please READ ALL below. I will ignore questions that are already answered here.**
___________________________________________________________

Contents:
* Welcome!
* New Buyers
* Listings
* Shipping & Handling
* Refund Policy
* Order Issues
* Communication
* F.A.Q.
* Retorts
* Final Thoughts

Please read. I will ignore questions that are already answered here.

__________________________WELCOME! __________________________

Thanks for coming by. Please see below for available product and quantities. Happy Smoke strives and, for the most part, succeeds at making our customers happy from start to finish. Friendly customer service, fair prices and prompt/discreet shipping. Almost forgot to mention, but hope it goes without saying... high quality, medical grade, 100% organic indoor grown cannabis. Nobody is perfect, but we try to be :-)


__________________________New Buyers __________________________

New Buyers are Welcome!!! You might (or might not) be asked to finalize early depending on your order. No message to me is necessary before making a purchase; if there are any issues, I’ll send you a message.

I often get messages from REALLY new buyers asking for directions to get started.

First, go here: http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion/index.php/silkroad/buyers_guide
here: http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion/silkroad/about
here: http://dkn255hz262ypmii.onion/
and here: http://dkn255hz262ypmii.onion/wiki
(the sites above can only be viewed through your TOR browser)

That should start you off good.

TIP: If the item is $100... then buy AT LEAST $115 worth of BTC accounting for exchange fluctuations and fees.

*(optional) For those of you challenged by PGP... try using these sites through TOR:

destructingmessage.com
or
privnote.com


__________________________Listings __________________________

We are a retailer... not a wholesaler. We DO NOT offer listing larger than a Quarter Pound; if you want 1/2 pound... then order 2 x Quarter Pounds. No custom listings at this time. What is listed is what is available. You'll have to order separately if you want to mix up the strains. We are not set up at this time to do custom orders like half-half or mixed variety. If it is NOT listed... it is NOT available. Please see our current listings below. You can purchase them by adding the item(s) to your cart and then checking out.


__________________________Shipping & Handling __________________________

No overnight, express or international shipping.

Your order should arrive fluffy and uncompressed; this is NOT a guarantee. The buyer that orders an 1/8 has a slightly greater chance of smashed nugs because the bag is smaller with less space for air to cushion the bag as a whole. It's physics... not my packaging! 99% of our orders arrive perfect. Once in a while, there is an aggressive mailman that smashes the envelope... NOT OUR FAULT either :-)

Address Advice (optional):
Make sure your address is correct by going to:
https://tools.usps.com/go/ZipLookupAction_input
to check it. Copy and paste the results to me will help.

No initials. See here: http://pe.usps.com/text/imm/immc1_007.htm

I ship ONLY USA!!! I ship USPS First Class in a bubble mailer or Priority Flat Rate Mail. A DCN (Delivery Confirmation Number) is on ALL packages. There is no charge for shipping. All orders ship within the same or next day (NOT including Sundays or Holidays). All orders have a DCN for me to know if you received it or not. I will write EXACTLY what you tell me to write for the name and address. Bull shit names and/or addresses that cause a package to become undeliverable will be your responsibility and your loss. My experiences as a buyer on SR have been good. Frankly, I am amazed that some of the packages I ordered arrived at all considering the way they were packed and shipped. I think it may be due to the relaxed laws in some of the areas I ordered product from and they don’t take the extra precautions that others may take where the laws are stricter. That being said, your package will be handled with EXTRA ordinary care to ensure prompt and secure delivery. Expected delivery time is usually 3-5 days. Sunday's, Holidays and unexpected events (blizzard, floods, earthquakes, tornados) hold up the mail sometimes; out of my control. I’ve personally had some experiences on here myself, where I received the package within 2 days of ordering! Really depends on the mail system after the package has been dropped off.

I will consolidate your order and send it, if it'll fit, in one package if you order more than one item.

Tracking your package:
I will *NOT* track your package until 5 business days (Sunday's & holidays excluded) after being marked in transit. Messages or emails about this will be ignored. The DCN is for myself or SR staff *ONLY* (if they require it). I will never give it out to you or anyone else for security reasons.


__________________________Refund Policy __________________________

November 2012: i'd like to reiterate no refunds means exactly that. There is no need for interpretation. Even if you've been a regular and spent thousands of dollars with me. If the DCN says "Delivered"... then there is NOT going to be a refund of any kind. NOT 50%, not 25%, not 10%... 0 (zero)! Nothing. Thanks for understanding.

There are none! No refunds… period. This is not Wal-Mart; you're buying drugs on the internet. We do our job and take 100% responsibility all the way and expect our buyers to act the same. If *YOU* put down a wrong address... that's not my problem. If your neighbor steals your mail... then go buy a video camera because I don't care and I am not going to offer you a discount to replace it. I will *ALWAYS* have a DCN for tracking and if for some rare, odd, unimaginable moment, I don't have the DCN to prove shipment; then you'll get 100% refund.

TIP: "measure twice, cut once!" Make sure your address is correct. Look at it. Is it correct? Apt # on there? Name spelled correctly? Did you verify your address? No initials. (see "Address Advice" above under the "Shipping & Handling" section)


__________________________Order Issues __________________________

If there is a problem with your order... let me know. I don't read minds. Mistakes can happen. This is not main stream; you're buying drugs on the internet. Send me a message. Communicate with me and give me an opportunity to make you happy before posting feedback. Mistakes are just that... not intentional. Please don't be an asshole, write me first.


__________________________Communication __________________________

I will ignore messages like "when did you send my order?" until at least 5 days after confirming shipment. If you write to me and I don't respond within 24 hours, it's because the answer is probably on here already. I usually respond within 12-24 hours. Please keep messages short and sweet. I don't care about your pet fish or the softball size tumor growing out of your neck. Please read this whole page before writing me.

Contact me through here on SR or:
email: happysmoke420@tormail.net (jhiwjjlqpyawmpjx.onion) <-- Rarely checked
SR Forums: http://dkn255hz262ypmii.onion/index.php?topic=10825 <-- Checked every several days
PrivacyBox: c4wcxidkfhvmzhw6.onion/happysmoke.msg (c4wcxidkfhvmzhw6.onion/index.en.html)
TorChat (rarely used): kvoov6u3kiphra4b (code.google.com/p/torchat/)
TorPM (rarely used): happysmoke420 (4eiruntyxxbgfv7o.onion/pm/)

Here's my Public Key for added security if you wish. GPG encryption should be used for seriously sensitive information (ie. name, address, etc) and is optional. Encrypting "Did you send my package yet?" is really stupid. And remember to give me your public key for sensitive replies. Your public key should NOT be included in an encrypted message to me in case you make an error and i can't open the message to get your key:

-----BEGIN PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----
Version: GnuPG v2.0.17 (MingW32)

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=zNFc
-----END PGP PUBLIC KEY BLOCK-----


(optional) For those of you challenged by PGP... try using these sites through TOR:

destructingmessage.com
or
privnote.com


__________________________F.A.Q. __________________________

Q. Can you hold "blah,blah" strain for me until my bank transfer goes through to bitcoins?
A. No. I can't. No different than me taking your order and then holding it for 4 days before shipping it. Would you want me to do that to you? (That’s a rhetorical question) EXACTLY... you wouldn't. If something beyond your control goes wrong at the bank or BTC exchange, then I am left high and dry.

Q. Can you loan me ฿0.23 so that I can buy your product?
A. No dummy?!?! I appreciate that you bought BitCoins just to buy my product... but WTF? Don't get mad at me if I refuse. If the item is $100... then buy AT LEAST $115 worth of BTC accounting for exchange fluctuations and fees. If you can't afford 1oz, then buy a 1/2oz; if 1/2oz costs to much, buy 1/4oz. EVERYONE goes through the SAME EXACT procedures in 1 form or another; so complaining about how long it takes to go from purchasing BTC to the package arriving in the mail won't get you any sympathy from me. I also don't care if you live in the middle of nowhere and conducting business (ie. post office, bank, etc) for you is more challenging... MOVE!

Q. Will you accept PayPal, Credit Card, Western Union, Money Gram, money order, cash, MoneyPak, etc?
A. No. Stop being stupid. If you think about it for a little bit... hopefully the light bulb in your brain goes off and you realize how dumb a question that is. BitCoins only.

Q. If I order 4 different strains... 1/4oz each... can you sell it to me for the 1oz price?
A. No.

Q. Can you make me a custom order with mixed strains?
A. see "Listings" section above

Q. How much for 1/2 pound and 1 pound?
A. see "Listings" section above

Q. How do I get BitCoins to buy your product?
A. see "New Buyers" section above

Q. I have $59 (BTC equivalent) and I want to buy your $60 product... can you make a custom listing and just send me a little less?
A. No. If you can't afford 1oz, then buy a 1/2oz. If 1/2oz costs more then you have at the moment, then buy 1/4oz.

Q. I am a New Buyer. Do you want me to finalize early?
A. Not necessary. I will contact you if I want you to finalize early.


__________________________Retorts __________________________

This section is for responses to less than perfect feedback from buyers.

In response to: Product 3/5 didn't bubble at all no matter the size of bowl.
Packaging 1/5 they stupidly put it in wax paper which not only rubbed off onto the product making it harsher but also leached whatever oil it had as it was super DRY
I just took some of this Bubble Hash that is sent to customers to spot check and make sure this guy’s claim is untrue and sure enough it is. Mine sizzled when i put a flame to it. In regards to the wax paper... I have never heard of wax paper absorbing oil?!?! Is that a new kind of chemistry or science? There is so little wax on wax paper that i find it to be a preposterous claim that it rubbed off on the hash making it a harsh smoke... come on now... that's reaching! Put it in the refrigerator for a few seconds and then flick the little pieces of wax off if there is any truth to that claim at all.

Regarding recent reviews about package compression: "Your order should arrive fluffy and uncompressed; this is NOT a guarantee. The buyer that orders an 1/8 has a slightly greater chance of smashed nugs because the bag is smaller with less space for air to cushion the bag as a whole. It's physics... not my packaging! 99% of our orders arrive perfect." Think of it like this... who will be more "fluffy" after an accident with a bus... the guy driving the Honda Civic or the guy driving the H2 Hummer?

*To the reviewer that claims to have trimmed off 2 grams of sweet-leaf off his 7 gram purchase: Bold claim... 2 grams?!?! Sure it's not 1 gram from an 7.5 gram bag? Please look at said trim under a microscope and notice the caked on trichomes. It'd be shameful to cut that off and discard it. My humble opinion... 1 out of 100 mention anything... and it's only mentioned because they didn't look closely.

Buyer said i have "terrible communication"... Let me clarify... we communicated perfectly back and forth... he didn't like what i said, so he writes "terrible communication" in his feedback. There really should be a place for retorts in the feedback. I would write how he ordered, then canceled, then asks where his stuff is after canceling. A real pain in the ass that i wish never ordered from me in the first place. I was very cordial to him and still got the negative feedback (product was NOT issue despite his claims).

9+ months ago: Can’t please everyone. 3 people exactly really played a role in getting my feedback down to 99. 1 inbred kid from rural bumfuck Pennsylvania, 1 bitter handicap man aka "the world owes me something" in Texas and 1 stereotypical spic from the Bronx, wannabe Jersey Shore Guido type, that wouldn't know good weed if Snooki herself blew it in his face. They were all rude and had nothing to substantiate their claims; just the usual bully behavior that they will change the feedback if they get a refund or more product; complete lack of civil communication. Even though Silk Road ruled in my favor in the Resolution Center in 1 of those instances above, I still got negative feedback! Unjust for sure, but Silk Road runs the show here. It is set up so that if I stand my ground and don’t give a refund, then I suffer the negative feedback. That’s the way it goes. It’s fine :-) People see through the bullshit.


__________________________Final Thoughts __________________________

I have the right to refuse a sale for any reason I want and I don’t have to explain myself to you.

A few things worth noting. Anonymity. Should go without saying… but I will say it anyway. Discretion and privacy are of the utmost importance. I’ve been accused of being “anal retentive” regarding this matter… which is good for you!!! Your info will be guarded safely and disposed of properly.

Thank you very much!!!! I appreciate all your business!! Looking forward to serving you here on Silk Road!!!