### You! all of you lets have a bit of fun - we need a laugh - ###

[sunghajung]

Lets have a laugh hey, I'll start if off and lets a thread going and some people sitting behind computers screens smiling.  Post whatever you think is gonna do that, I'll start and I want everyone to get involved and lets have a laugh together.  I've been part of this for a long time and although this username is a fresh start don't doubt I know this place if full of funny, smart and good people. 
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Ok so I'm from Australia and I guess its common knowledge we do have some hot weather.   So I have some relatives from the UK recently moved over here.  They kept a diary of their first few months and I'll think you'll enjoy.
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August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days

and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my new home. I love it here.

September 13
Really heating up now. It got to 31 today. No problem though. Living in air-conditioned home, driving air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun

every day like this. I’m turning into a sun-worshipper – no blasted rain like back in Leeds!!

September 30
Had the back yard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. No more mowing lawns for me! Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

It’s Paradise!

October 10
The temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it’s windy though. Keeps the flies off a bit.

Acclimatizing is taking longer than we expected.
yutiyr
October 15
Fell asleep by the pool yesterday. Got third degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed three days off work. What a dumb thing to do. Got to respect the old

sun in a climate like this!
yutiyr
October 20
Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and

swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I’ve learned my lesson though: no more

pets in this heat.

October 25
This wind is a bastard. It feels like a giant fucking blow dryer. And it’s hot as hell! The home air conditioner is on the blink and the repair man charged

$200 just to drive over and tell me he needs to order parts from fucking Perth ….The wife & the kids are complaining.

October 30
The temperature’s up around 40 and the parts still haven’t arrived for the fucking air conditioner. House is an oven so we’ve all been sleeping outside by

the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can’t even go inside. Why the hell did I ever come here?

November 4
Finally got the fucking air-conditioner fixed. It cost $1,500 and gets the temperature down to around 25 degrees, but the humidity makes it feel about 35.

Stupid repairman. Fucking thief.

November 8
If one more smart bastard says ‘Hot enough for you today?’ I’m going to fucking throttle him. Fucking heat! By the time I get to work, the car radiator is

boiling over, my fucking clothes are soaking fucking wet and I smell like baked cat. Fucking place is the end of the Earth.

November 9
Tried to run some errands after work, wore shorts, and sat on the black leather upholstery in my car. I thought my fucking arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers

of flesh, all the hair on the backs of my legs and off my fucking arse. Now the car smells like burnt hair, fried arse and baked cat. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

November 10
The Weather report might as well be a fucking recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny, Hot and fucking sunny. It never fucking changes! It’s been too hot to

do anything for 2 fucking months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Fuck!

November 15
Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn fucking place? Water restrictions will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms might just dry up and blow into the fucking

pool. The only things that thrive in this fucking hell-hole are the fucking flies. You don’t dare open your mouth for fear of swallowing half a dozen of the

little bastards!

November 20
Welcome to HELL! It got to 45 fuckin’ degrees today. Now the air conditioner’s gone in my car. The repair man came to fix it and said, ‘Hot enough for you

today?’ I wanted to shove the fucking car up his fucking arse. Anyway, had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail me out of jail for assaulting the

stupid prick. Fucking Karratha! What kind of sick, demented fucking idiot would want to live here!

December 1
WHAT!!!! The FIRST day of Summer!!!! You are fucking kidding me!

[bundyxtc]

STRAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[inlove5611]

Wow that's hilarious.

[BenHur]

+1

[sunghajung]

+1 for the comments....and a bump..

[Lief]

Ha. Typical poms, eh? Always moaning about the weather. Gave me a good laugh. +1

[sunghajung]

Ha. Typical poms, eh? Always moaning about the weather. Gave me a good laugh. +1

yep, someone had to say it +1

[LeapOfFaith]

"Everybody have fun tonight, everybody have fun tonight, everybody have fun tonight, everybody wang chung."

[bundyxtc]

And tonight they have a cyclone. 

Australia. Dangerous one minute deadly the next

[mary666]

+1, brilliant!! 

[WickedWords]

What goes:

'Hahahahaha -bonk!'?

A man laughing his head off, of course...

[sunghajung]

And tonight they have a cyclone. 

Australia. Dangerous one minute deadly the next

I can imagine the next entry being something like.....

December 30th... well fuck me, They said a cyclone was on it its way and to make sure we're prepared! WTF is prepared....the car is now 3 blocks away... the house has no roof and our new cat is somewhere between Fiji and Samoa, I'm fucking back off to the UK.   Take your Australia and shove it.....

[MrPharmacist]

Thanks sunghajung!  Having lived in Australia and driven around the whole country I can completely relate to this!   Gets very hot up in Karratha.....  I wouldn't want to live there!  + 1 to you....

[MrPharmacist]

So, following on from the OP's very funny post, here's my contribution.....

So, my mates from Australia are over in London for xmas. We went out the other weekend and were meeting loads of their mates for drinks. I know that most of this group enjoy their recreational drugs, although there were quite a few people that I didn’t know. Anyway, I got chatting to this one geezer, John, and the conversation went something like this:

Me: “So, where do you work?”

John: “Hemel Hempstead”

Me: “oh, I’m from the Hemel area originally. What’s it like working there?”

John: “Hemel’s ok – the commute is ok and there's a few nice pubs”

Me: “oh yeah, which pubs do you go to?”

John: “The Winkwell and the Fishery Inn”

Me: “Oh, the Fishery Inn!  Me and my mates used to drink there a lot. It was a bit rough back in the day. We used to spend more time in the toilets than at the bar… if you know what I mean…" (wink, wink, nudge nudge)

John: “ oh yeah!?”

Me: “ So, what do you do for work?”

John: “I work for the National Crime agency…. I’m a police officer!”

Me (thought bubble):  “DOH!!!!!!!!”

Anyway, it turns out John was pretty sound and he explained the NCA also houses the National Cyber Crime Unit (NCCU). I had a long conversation with him about which gangs were controlling the drug trade, the Silk Road, etc, etc.  He said the NCA had played a minor role in the Silk Road takedown after tip-offs from US agencies (namely the FBI).  It was a couple of vendors of interest.  He said they’re only interested in catching the big time dealers and people operating these websites.  Most of the NCCU work is against banking/financial fraud, money laundering and paedophiles.  In his own words, he said they don't have time or the resources to be chasing small time drug dealers, whether they're on the streets, or posting stuff in the mail. 

Anyway, he was a nice geezer, and thankfully he left the pub by midnight before my pill kicked in and my eyes started rolling around and looking completely spangled! Ha ha!   He might have been forced to arrest me....

Happy New Year all!

Mr Pharmacist x

[sunghajung]

MrPharmacist, that's what I call a Kodak moment.  I reckon the look on your face would have said it all.   Interesting conversation you had with him to I must say.  I think most of them guys out of their habitat and in a social setting lose the cop a bit, he  opened up anyway.
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They'd have to get that a bit those guys, a  couple of guys I went to school with are cops, I still see them around occasionally when I'm in my home town.  It's like a stand off most the time, a nod, hey, move on.   I Feel like bringing up the fact that we all smoked weed down the riverbank in our young years together.  'Did you put that on your cop application forms??' I figure they leave me be and I'll keep that to myself. 
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I assume now your NCA acquaintance is going to be a source of LE intelligence for us now so thanks for hooking that up. lol.   
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Great story, I'm glad you didn't try to explain your way out of spending time in the pub toilets some other way.....could have gotten weird.
cheers MrPharmacist

[MrPharmacist]

MrPharmacist, that's what I call a Kodak moment.  I reckon the look on your face would have said it all.   Interesting conversation you had with him to I must say.  I think most of them guys out of their habitat and in a social setting lose the cop a bit, he  opened up anyway.
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They'd have to get that a bit those guys, a  couple of guys I went to school with are cops, I still see them around occasionally when I'm in my home town.  It's like a stand off most the time, a nod, hey, move on.   I Feel like bringing up the fact that we all smoked weed down the riverbank in our young years together.  'Did you put that on your cop application forms??' I figure they leave me be and I'll keep that to myself. 
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I assume now your NCA acquaintance is going to be a source of LE intelligence for us now so thanks for hooking that up. lol.   
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Great story, I'm glad you didn't try to explain your way out of spending time in the pub toilets some other way.....could have gotten weird.
cheers MrPharmacist

One of my mates reckoned the "spent more time in the toilets" comment may have got him thinking I was like George Michael, hanging around the toilets doing the whole "Careless Wrister" thing...  (as opposed to snorting lines of coke!)

I don't expect I'll ever meet the NCA guy again but it was reassuring to hear that Darkweb buyers of drugs for personal use are way down the list of priorities for LE (in the UK).   This is what I'd assumed but was good to hear it from the horses mouth!   ...or should that be the "pigs" mouth, ha ha!

[sunghajung]

MrPharmacist, that's what I call a Kodak moment.  I reckon the look on your face would have said it all.   Interesting conversation you had with him to I must say.  I think most of them guys out of their habitat and in a social setting lose the cop a bit, he  opened up anyway.
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They'd have to get that a bit those guys, a  couple of guys I went to school with are cops, I still see them around occasionally when I'm in my home town.  It's like a stand off most the time, a nod, hey, move on.   I Feel like bringing up the fact that we all smoked weed down the riverbank in our young years together.  'Did you put that on your cop application forms??' I figure they leave me be and I'll keep that to myself. 
.
I assume now your NCA acquaintance is going to be a source of LE intelligence for us now so thanks for hooking that up. lol.   
.
Great story, I'm glad you didn't try to explain your way out of spending time in the pub toilets some other way.....could have gotten weird.
cheers MrPharmacist

One of my mates reckoned the "spent more time in the toilets" comment may have got him thinking I was like George Michael, hanging around the toilets doing the whole "Careless Wrister" thing...  (as opposed to snorting lines of coke!)

I don't expect I'll ever meet the NCA guy again but it was reassuring to hear that Darkweb buyers of drugs for personal use are way down the list of priorities for LE (in the UK).   This is what I'd assumed but was good to hear it from the horses mouth!   ...or should that be the "pigs" mouth, ha ha!

'Careless Wristler' is funny, LE are funny to.  But you gotta have Faith I suppose.   Or Wham, next thing you know, your in a cell with Ben Dover.

[PillfirePharmacy]

October 20
Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and

swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I’ve learned my lesson though: no more

pets in this heat.

OMFG I feel a tiny bit evil for laughing at that  :/

[sunghajung]

October 20
Didn’t notice Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car before I left for work this morning. By the time I got back to the car after work, Kitty had died and

swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stuck to the upholstery. The car now smells like Whiskettes and cat shit. I’ve learned my lesson though: no more

pets in this heat.

OMFG I feel a tiny bit evil for laughing at that  :/

Don't turn your back on your pussy when it gets hot or it'll get awful smelly.......and avoid feeding it Whiskettes.  Two lessons he'll take away from Dec 20th - edit Oct 20

[animalinpain5440]

That bloody post was hysterically funny best thing in life is some deep down giggling...the cat omg I couldn't breathe!!!! ahahahahaha

[TheWeedMan]

+1!