Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: ozzybattla on June 04, 2012, 01:53 pm
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In my younger days, I did some trips (~10 times), shrooms (about 5 times), mescaline (twice), and X (~20 times), along with a bit of pot but not too much.
I haven't done anything more than a tiny bit of pot (maybe a cone every 6 months) in the last 10 years.
Neither myself nor my live-in gf drink very often (I go through about a case a year!). Just the occasional glass of wine with dinner. And occasional binges on people's birthdays, and other events. We're very active and eat good food.
She has done some pot when she was in high school, but nothing else, and I have recently gently talked about rolling on X to her. She is totally against it, and has NO interest in doing it. She thinks it's just for high-schoolers.
She's pretty sensitive to most chemicals and has a pretty sensitive constitution, so I'm actually inclined to agree with her about her not taking anything. Problem is, she said she would want to break up with me if I did them. I think she was just overreacting as she usually does when she doesn't like something, and I did say that I wanted to roll again after that, but I didn't mention that I have a whole bunch of mdma stashed in the house at the moment that is burning a hole in my pocket. If she was into it I'd roll this weekend.
I told her that I've had some great times on drugs, and never even came close to being addicted, and still don't think it's a problem.
She said she didn't start going out with me taking drugs, and she doesn't want me to now. Which is true, but wtf?
I said that she could just drink, I'll take a pill, we'll both have fun and that's cool. But she said that I won't be me when I'm on drugs, she hates being around people on drugs etc etc. She is also worried that I'll cheat on her when I'm on X (if she's not there). I said I wanted her to come with me, she could drink, we'd both have fun, etc.
Anyway, we've been going out for around 5 years now, and since I had no contacts for drugs, it was never an issue because I didn't have a way of getting anything I wanted anyway, not wanting to risk it with dodgy street dealers, etc.
So my desire to trip or roll was never mentioned, and I just ignored it when she was way over the top when the news reports came up on tv of dealers getting busted and her saying that they deserved it, etc. I always just thought to myself, fuck why don't they just sell drugs at the pharmacy, give everyone a licence to trip/roll once every 2 months, and the whole problem can be solved. Anyway I digress...
... then I discovered SR.
And I'm like a kid in a candy store! All this great stuff I kind of thought I'd never get to try again is all open to me. I trust the quality so much more than anything I have ever bought from the dodgy wannabe dealers 20 levels below the source. I'm happy.
I have a bit of a stash now- a bit of hash, some X (too much maybe) and 5 of the best trips I could buy.
I want to roll, and trip!!
But I'd rather not do it behind her back...
Anyway thanks for reading my wall of text.
I know no-one here can give me any concrete answers, but anyone have any general advice or been in a similar situation?? What was the outcome?
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I had this situation. Had a girlfriend and loved her to death but she had no idea all the shady-shit I was into or that I took drugs. Went on for 9 months, then she found out and BOOM it ended. It is absolutely pointless being with someone who does not do drugs unless they accept that you do it and are genuinely fine with it OR you are willing to give them up for that person. Otherwise it just doesn't work I am afraid. You aren't really committed to that person and they don't know the real you if you have to lie to them about things like that otherwise you are just leading a double life and that isn't fair on either of you. Believe me I know, was gutted when it ended. :-\
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Been through the same.
Best advice: Go. Right now. Grab all of her shit and pitch it out the window. Don't try to explain, she won't get it, just grab and toss. I'll wager you already think she's a bit mental but excuse her behavior as 'quirky' or, 'she's just having a bad day' when what you're thinking is 'YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH, GIVE ME BACK MY DOG'.... wait, that was me..... but I'm sure its universal.
It'll never get better, and its probably not the drugs, its a control issue. If she's got it in her head that you might cheat on her, then I bet in her head you already are.
Then bank a bunch of coin, order up from here, relax, and enjoy the rest of your life without someone who'll restrict and censor you. Chicks come and go, drugs are there for you for the long haul.
Murder works too.
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Lol I laughed when I read that, been down that road. That's my favorite argument, "You aren't you when your on suchandsuch!" Really? Because I sure as fuck feel like me, only an improved more entertained version, it's me 2.0.
Big deal if you trip or roll once a month and 'aren't yourself', she's on her rag once a month and certainly isn't herself, and that's days of torture, you're just going to have several hours of being more personable and some loud music versus days of hearing complaints about cramps and being bitched at for not putting the toilet paper on the roll and other nonsense.
Shrooms might be easier to get her to accept you taking because they're natural, can't OD, no addiction, and is at home entertainment or a spiritual journey, however you choose to use them.
On the flipside, I suppose I was an asshole when I had an ex girlfriend that I wouldn't let take E at all, and when we met we both did quite a bit. I wouldn't let her because she was a whore on it, pop an E pill in her mouth and she'd start grinding anything around like she was trying to start a fire with her vag.
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Lim, that was surprisingly touching. If I could give karma, that'd be a +1 for showing some soul.
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Lim, that was surprisingly touching. If I could give karma, that'd be a +1 for showing some soul.
Lol being a bastard and having feelings are never mutually exclusive man. In fact you need one to keep the other in check. :)
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I hate to be all logical about this but there's also the risk that since she is so anti drugs, if she ever discovered your stash she'd call the Police. As such I'm inclined to agree with the other posters so far and decide it's not worth being with someone like this.
V.
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I hate to be all logical about this but there's also the risk that since she is so anti drugs, if she ever discovered your stash she'd call the Police. As such I'm inclined to agree with the other posters so far and decide it's not worth being with someone like this.
V.
Yeah forgot to add this. Depending on how she scores on the Crazy-Bitch-O-Meter this is a significant risk. Almost happened in my situation.
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I had this situation. Had a girlfriend and loved her to death but she had no idea all the shady-shit I was into or that I took drugs. Went on for 9 months, then she found out and BOOM it ended. It is absolutely pointless being with someone who does not do drugs unless they accept that you do it and are genuinely fine with it OR you are willing to give them up for that person. Otherwise it just doesn't work I am afraid. You aren't really committed to that person and they don't know the real you if you have to lie to them about things like that otherwise you are just leading a double life and that isn't fair on either of you. Believe me I know, was gutted when it ended. :-\
Yeah she obviously doesn't really understand me if she can't realize that a pill every couple of months is nowhere near as bad as getting drunk every weekend, but she'd be ok if I did that (not happy, but ok with it). The only reason I ever drink is because it is legal. I would take something else every time if I could.
I'm the kind of person who likes to think that I judge things on their merits and think for myself.
To be fair, she has worked in a field where she has seen a lot of the effects of drugs and bad decisions/unlucky situations firsthand, so that probably has colored her experience a lot. She hasn't seen the safe, fun side that I have seen. And in all honesty, I haven't seen all the crazy bad stuff that she's seen.
There's a BBC show that I watched recently where doctors compared all the drugs according to their effects/addictiveness/etc, and ecstasy was very low on the list, and my body has told me the same thing. Hangovers suck. Fucking stupid when you compare going out getting drunk with stumbling and slurred speech with the lucidity I can think with on a trip. Maybe it's similar to higher-dose mdma though, I guess. But I've had much better/deeper conversations with good friends on mdma than alcohol, that's for sure.
But yeah, it's something that is likely to come between us. I wonder if she'll come around. I don't think I'll change my views on the matter.
Seems pretty stupid to break up over a couple of pills/trips every six months though. I could really just do them on the days when she's not around, or when I go out with friends and that would be enough for me, but it leaves a bad taste in my mouth having to be deceptive for no real reason other than closed-mindedness.
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Dude you need to have a serious talk to her about her priorities and her opinions on drugs.
Break up with you for taking MDMA? Nonsense.
You are in the right here. It is no different than getting drunk. She wouldn't break up with you for doing that now would she?
So you need to hammer home to her that her opinions are based on lies and fear. Luckily, reality is on your side. Research the relevant literature and PROVE to her that you are right. If she still has a problem with it, then she's just irrational.
I wouldn't expect someone with anti-drug opinions to change their tune though. I've seen it happen before, but only in the face of MASSIVE evidence. Most people with these sorts of absurdly exaggerated ideas have them because of years and years of deep conditioning and propaganda. Even when confronted with the evidence, they fall back into their same old patterns.
How far do you see this relationship going? If it's a long term thing.. and she doesn't change her mind.. then it's her or the drugs dude. Your call. Or you can choose to lie to her.. but as Lim said, that's no way to conduct yourself in a serious relationship (at least if you genuinely love her).
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Time to look for a new girlfriend. I couldnt life with a woman who doesnt have the same hobby like me.
How stupid is that ? You are on LSD and come home and your gf wants a discussion ... (i would eat her face)
Only if you and your gf are on the same mood, a relationship can work.
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Been through the same.
Best advice: Go. Right now. Grab all of her shit and pitch it out the window. Don't try to explain, she won't get it, just grab and toss. I'll wager you already think she's a bit mental but excuse her behavior as 'quirky' or, 'she's just having a bad day' when what you're thinking is 'YOU FUCKING CRAZY BITCH, GIVE ME BACK MY DOG'.... wait, that was me..... but I'm sure its universal.
Yes she has been mental at times but it's always blamed on hormones. She does usually apologize later but really adults are meant to be able to control themselves.
It'll never get better, and its probably not the drugs, its a control issue. If she's got it in her head that you might cheat on her, then I bet in her head you already are.
Control issues. This really rang a bell with me. The other day I was with her at an ATM getting cash out, and she noticed my bank balance. Anyway she commented on how much money was in there (more than she would have expected), and when I said "why were you looking at that?" she got all offended that I didn't want her to see it and I'm secretive etc etc. "I suck your dick and I can't know how much money you have??"
Basically I got in trouble that I didn't want her looking at my bank balance. She said she didn't look on purpose but fuck I actively DON'T look at her private stuff.
She thinks it's weird that I have "problems" with her opening my mail. She has never done this, except once for an obvious bill, and I made it VERY clear that that is not on, regardless of what she thinks is in there, but WTF? Who would ever think that opening mail addressed to someone else is ok?
Control Issues. Hmmm. >:(
Then bank a bunch of coin, order up from here, relax, and enjoy the rest of your life without someone who'll restrict and censor you. Chicks come and go, drugs are there for you for the long haul.
Murder works too.
Hmm. It does seem tempting (not the murder part lol), but I do have a memory of the times before her, and those were not all good times. I am unmotivated by nature and she does help me to be motivated for stuff that will genuinely improve my life. But being with her is too far on the Brady Bunch perfect family side. I need some loud music, crazy parties, etc. All that mostly doesn't happen with her.
Lol I laughed when I read that, been down that road. That's my favorite argument, "You aren't you when your on suchandsuch!" Really? Because I sure as fuck feel like me, only an improved more entertained version, it's me 2.0.
Big deal if you trip or roll once a month and 'aren't yourself', she's on her rag once a month and certainly isn't herself, and that's days of torture, you're just going to have several hours of being more personable and some loud music versus days of hearing complaints about cramps and being bitched at for not putting the toilet paper on the roll and other nonsense.
Fuck! I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THIS!! I am ALWAYS walking around on eggshells around here because she feels sick/hormonal/etc etc. Getting her hot water bottles, etc. WTF?!!
Shrooms might be easier to get her to accept you taking because they're natural, can't OD, no addiction, and is at home entertainment or a spiritual journey, however you choose to use them.
I don't think that would work. Any drugs are bad, mmkay.
I think the argument that it's safer off SR because people have tested it, etc MAY work to take away the safety issue, but unlikely.
I could test them myself, but I feel this is unnecessary, and it probably wouldn't help because the real issue isn't the safety, it's a control issue and maybe some of being a dog in a manger because she can't/won't take anything.
Plus I don't want to explain how much time I've invested in SR and how I got drugs mailed etc etc. She will def want to know where they came from so she can hate the friend who got it for me.
So I'm not sure how to get over the hurdle of explaining where I got them from either.
On the flipside, I suppose I was an asshole when I had an ex girlfriend that I wouldn't let take E at all, and when we met we both did quite a bit. I wouldn't let her because she was a whore on it, pop an E pill in her mouth and she'd start grinding anything around like she was trying to start a fire with her vag.
That sounds fine to me if you don't like how she acted. But I guess you probably liked her in the first place for acting like that... So yeah, probably a bit asshole-y :D
I hate to be all logical about this but there's also the risk that since she is so anti drugs, if she ever discovered your stash she'd call the Police. As such I'm inclined to agree with the other posters so far and decide it's not worth being with someone like this.
V.
Yeah forgot to add this. Depending on how she scores on the Crazy-Bitch-O-Meter this is a significant risk. Almost happened in my situation.
Shit I never even thought of this either. I don't think she'd do that, but if we broke up, who knows?? She's talking about when she wants to have babies and shit, with her body clock ticking like a time bomb. She might go insane if we broke up. Fuck.
Fucking great, insightful replies guys. Given me a lot to think about. I shouldn't have to lie or pretend to be someone I'm not.
So far 4/4 say ditch her. And I have a friend who has lightly suggested the same thing (for different reasons) earlier. Or maybe that's what I get for asking what to do with a girl who doesn't like drugs on a drug forum. :-)
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Tell her that you only hold it out if you use drugs.
Sometimes in germany we also drink some beer or use drugs before we go to party, so the girls look more attractive than.
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Dude you need to have a serious talk to her about her priorities and her opinions on drugs.
Break up with you for taking MDMA? Nonsense.
You are in the right here. It is no different than getting drunk. She wouldn't break up with you for doing that now would she?
So you need to hammer home to her that her opinions are based on lies and fear. Luckily, reality is on your side. Research the relevant literature and PROVE to her that you are right. If she still has a problem with it, then she's just irrational.
I wouldn't expect someone with anti-drug opinions to change their tune though. I've seen it happen before, but only in the face of MASSIVE evidence. Most people with these sorts of absurdly exaggerated ideas have them because of years and years of deep conditioning and propaganda. Even when confronted with the evidence, they fall back into their same old patterns.
How far do you see this relationship going? If it's a long term thing.. and she doesn't change her mind.. then it's her or the drugs dude. Your call. Or you can choose to lie to her.. but as Lim said, that's no way to conduct yourself in a serious relationship (at least if you genuinely love her).
True, that is not the way a man conducts himself.
It has been my longest relationship so far. There have been problems here and there but she is 90% good for me. The other 10% is probably my own reluctance to commit completely to one girl - there's a lot of competition out there...
Honestly the drugs aren't such a big thing to me - only a couple of times a year, a couple of big events or something would be cool. I just HATE and reject the idea that I'm not allowed to do something that I want to do, and there's no real reason that I can't do it.
I was surprised to see how far she flew off the handle. I've seen her do that before though, and I think it's kind of the first thing she does to get what she wants. Usually she will think about it, and be a bit softer later. So I think MAYBE if I just speak to her like an adult later and say, "I still want to do this, you can either be there for me, I'd like you to come with us, or you can put a wedge between us by being unreasonable, and I will go out with my friends and enjoy myself", she may ease off.
Honestly I have thought (not seriously) about spiking her breakfast, and then when she says to me how great she feels, just tell her that obviously I was right. :D
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Ahh girlfriends views on recreational drug use. The age old dilemma. I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation. She always knew I was a recreational drug user, but it was some kind of realisation on her part that they're stifling life progression, causing brain damage etc. It was just a weird emotional time and we broke up for a month, which was hell, this was after 2 years together.
Basically tried to tell me that I could easily get schizophrenia from smoking weed, tried to get on the high horse a little bit with her psychological studies. I was trying really really hard to talk sense into her and every time I made a good point for safe recreational drug use, showing studies and stats that disprove some of the propaganda, she would just put up this mental brick wall so as to not be swayed in her opinion.
We got back together after we'd both thought things through and i'm free to do what I like prettymuch.....
She doesn't know anything about this place though.... and right now i'm receiving a couple of packages a month (all I can afford, really) of outstanding psychedelics, ectactogens and RCs. My worry is obviously that she would kill me, because even though this is a revolutionary community, liberating people, fighting the power while trying to minimise detection from LE, the reaction from the girlfriend would go "my boyfriend is importing "trafficable amounts" or schedule 1 drugs, how very stupid, moronic, risky and irresponsible of him.
That's why i'm trying really hard to stockpile my favourite drugs, before this goes on too long, too frequently and she finds out.
Anyone else worry more about their partners finding out the risks you've taken by using a place such as SR?
I spend more time worrying about that than LE, and that's saying something.
and ozzy, I also tried saying things like "you wake up with a splitting headache and vomit everywhere semi-frequently from binge drinking, but you don't want me to smoke with some friends?"
to no avail...
Girls have their minds made up already it seems. Massive generalisation, but girls can be pretty damn annoying sometimes. They're also hot and tasty!
Hope you can make her see the light. Tbh I think if you sense you're not going to win the fight, continue buying drugs without her knowing, then do them when she's away for the weekend or something. If all you want is to be able to do them with friends etc, then just do it that way.... keep on keeping on. The less you say about it from here on the easier it will be, as she might just let her opinions become more concrete for the sake of maintaining control. If you admit defeat now, and continue doing drugs only in the correct opportunities when she's not around, you'll probably get away with it. Hopefully you could use the time you are with her to catch some drug documentaries if she starts coming around a bit.... Because we want our cake, and we want to eat it too.
sorry for rambling, quite high! Good luck dude!
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"I suck your dick and I can't know how much money you have??"
Get a "Shit My Girlfriend Says" Twitter ASAP ;D
You have to say no to either her or to drugs. If you keep her, today might be drugs, tomorrow could be porn movies, the day after that obligatory presence on a knitting class, ..
Don't make a big mess when breaking up. She might loose it and call the cops. I know of a dude who got in a fight with his (ex) wife once and she called the cops saying he's beating her. A lot of court bullshit since they found his stash and a gun.
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Nasty bitches ... XOXOXO
http://i1224.photobucket.com/albums/ee371/germankraut1/6df6b61f.jpg
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Tell her that you only hold it out if you use drugs.
Sometimes in germany we also drink some beer or use drugs before we go to party, so the girls look more attractive than.
Only hold it out?? I don't get that part.
Haha you're right, the girls do look more attractive when I'm on drugs. :D
"I suck your dick and I can't know how much money you have??"
Get a "Shit My Girlfriend Says" Twitter ASAP ;D
You have to say no to either her or to drugs. If you keep her, today might be drugs, tomorrow could be porn movies, the day after that obligatory presence on a knitting class, ..
Don't make a big mess when breaking up. She might loose it and call the cops. I know of a dude who got in a fight with his (ex) wife once and she called the cops saying he's beating her. A lot of court bullshit since they found his stash and a gun.
Fuck!! Maybe I just won't tell her that I have anything. Just say that I want to do some, and say I can get it off an old school-friend or something.
Yeah my friends thought the dick sucking money thing was hilarious as well. ;D Doesn't seem so funny when faced with a crazy bitch though.
Ahh girlfriends views on recreational drug use. The age old dilemma. I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation. She always knew I was a recreational drug user, but it was some kind of realisation on her part that they're stifling life progression, causing brain damage etc. It was just a weird emotional time and we broke up for a month, which was hell, this was after 2 years together.
Basically tried to tell me that I could easily get schizophrenia from smoking weed, tried to get on the high horse a little bit with her psychological studies. I was trying really really hard to talk sense into her and every time I made a good point for safe recreational drug use, showing studies and stats that disprove some of the propaganda, she would just put up this mental brick wall so as to not be swayed in her opinion.
We got back together after we'd both thought things through and i'm free to do what I like prettymuch.....
She doesn't know anything about this place though.... and right now i'm receiving a couple of packages a month (all I can afford, really) of outstanding psychedelics, ectactogens and RCs. My worry is obviously that she would kill me, because even though this is a revolutionary community, liberating people, fighting the power while trying to minimise detection from LE, the reaction from the girlfriend would go "my boyfriend is importing "trafficable amounts" or schedule 1 drugs, how very stupid, moronic, risky and irresponsible of him.
That's why i'm trying really hard to stockpile my favourite drugs, before this goes on too long, too frequently and she finds out.
Anyone else worry more about their partners finding out the risks you've taken by using a place such as SR?
I spend more time worrying about that than LE, and that's saying something.
Funny, I'm exactly the same. My stomach was more twisted thinking about the gf/parents being disappointed in me than a controlled delivery/LE.
and ozzy, I also tried saying things like "you wake up with a splitting headache and vomit everywhere semi-frequently from binge drinking, but you don't want me to smoke with some friends?"
to no avail...
Girls have their minds made up already it seems. Massive generalisation, but girls can be pretty damn annoying sometimes. They're also hot and tasty!
Hope you can make her see the light. Tbh I think if you sense you're not going to win the fight, continue buying drugs without her knowing, then do them when she's away for the weekend or something. If all you want is to be able to do them with friends etc, then just do it that way.... keep on keeping on. The less you say about it from here on the easier it will be, as she might just let her opinions become more concrete for the sake of maintaining control. If you admit defeat now, and continue doing drugs only in the correct opportunities when she's not around, you'll probably get away with it. Hopefully you could use the time you are with her to catch some drug documentaries if she starts coming around a bit.... Because we want our cake, and we want to eat it too.
sorry for rambling, quite high! Good luck dude!
Great post Gibbroni. Yeah I'll think about what to do over the next couple of days, gotta have a chat with my best mate who I hardly seem to see anymore now he's married.
I'm also trying to stockpile the stuff I want. Hopefully tomorrow I'll get my last envelope for a while. I'll have all the drugs that I'm interested in covered then. Other stuff will take more research... :-\
Thinking about it now, when she flew off the handle and said, "I'll break up with you if you take drugs", I felt pretty close to saying, "well hit the road then bitch"! Obviously she doesn't like me that much if she'd be prepared to throw it all away over a couple of pills.
Like I said though, it just isn't that big a thing for me. I'd just like to have like half a dose of mdma to go out drinking with friends. Seems like a very small deal to me. I'm not shooting up in the alley, Fuck!
When I did mention about her having hangovers, she actually said that she wouldn't ever drink that much again!! I've heard her say that at least 5 times in the years we've been together!
It's like they listen to logic until they realize that they are definitely losing the argument, then the brick wall goes up. I fully expect this to happen if I start with any "is alcohol worse than ecstasy" arguments. This sucks.
Ex-gf's that I've had have come with their own problems, but they have all been cool about drugs. Not taking too much, but not being stupid about not taking them either. It would be sooo nice if she could be as excited as I am to get a cool envelope from Germany. We could plan a nice day out involving a nice trip or something. Goddammit.
I'm just pretty sure it will come up again (probably when I bring it up, I can be pretty provocative). Thanks for the ammo guys.
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Topical Anesthetic+Syringe with about 30mg of heroin. Poke her in her sleep twice, 3 hours apart.
When she wakes up, SHE will be the one with a drug problem.
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I agree with the above, it will be extremely hard to maintain a relationship with someone when you have such different views on drugs.
I sort of have the opposite problem. My gf loves drugs a bit too much and is developing a rather unsettling cocaine and opiate habit... this is not an easy conversation to have with her, because she insists she is smart and knows what she is doing, etc. I like to do coke once in a while for a fun night, while she would like to do it every day... This is not good. :(
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I agree with the above, it will be extremely hard to maintain a relationship with someone when you have such different views on drugs.
I sort of have the opposite problem. My gf loves drugs a bit too much and is developing a rather unsettling cocaine and opiate habit... this is not an easy conversation to have with her, because she insists she is smart and knows what she is doing, etc. I like to do coke once in a while for a fun night, while she would like to do it every day... This is not good. :(
Yeah they all say that mate, then you wake up one day and you realise you are bangin a junkie and she isn't paying for the Bing with cash.....catch my drift? Sorry to say as well that if she is hitting the Opiates as well as the Bing then that definitely isn't a good sign. You need to nip that shit in the bud yesterday if you don't it'll be too late and you'll be in all sorts of shitty coloured waters.
I'm not going to lie I do Bing quite regularly but were talking once a week for maybe up to 24-36 hours MAX. Every day is just fucking ridiculous for anyone, no matter how much willpower they have. In fact doing it every day actually just shows they have no willpower at all.
Sorry if I'm being really blunt with this but you need to take the attitude of "developing a rather unsettling cocaine and opiate" habit and throw it in the bin because it's clear you can obviously see it's emerging into a problem. Get her to kill it now and if she doesn't, pack your bags.
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Anyone else worry more about their partners finding out the risks you've taken by using a place such as SR?
I totally do.
My boyfriend still thinks he can rescue me from my supposedly "self-destructive" nature :(
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Anyone else worry more about their partners finding out the risks you've taken by using a place such as SR?
I totally do.
My boyfriend still thinks he can rescue me from my supposedly "self-destructive" nature :(
LOL like I said to the OP. Quit while you are ahead, if you like to take drugs that's fair enough as long as you do it in a way that isn't self-destructive. Why should you change yourself to fit the needs of someone else? You should not. You should only change yourself if your current lifestyle is damaging to your own well-being.
Anyway now we have established that your current fella isn't the one for you, what you doing Friday? ;)
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Anyone else worry more about their partners finding out the risks you've taken by using a place such as SR?
I totally do.
My boyfriend still thinks he can rescue me from my supposedly "self-destructive" nature :(
LOL like I said to the OP. Quit while you are ahead, if you like to take drugs that's fair enough as long as you do it in a way that isn't self-destructive. Why should you change yourself to fit the needs of someone else? You should not. You should only change yourself if your current lifestyle is damaging to your own well-being.
Anyway now we have established that your current fella isn't the one for you, what you doing Friday? ;)
Lmao.. As soon as I realised it was a chick, I decided to make some sort of crude comment, only to notice you had beat me to it.
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I once had a gf that wouldn't even drink booze, let alone try drugs. The most mind-altering substance she had ever tried was a Red Bull. She was scared that drugs would make her "lose control". I was open with her about most of my use and even though she disapproved of it I guess she just thought I would change.
One day she saw a ganja sucker/lollipop sitting on my dresser that for whatever reason piqued her interest. I suggested that we try it and she surprisingly agreed. Unfortunately I had not tried this particular batch of lollipops and thus did not know that they were potent as fuck! I was stoned out of my mind from splitting it with her and I had somewhat of a tolerance to cannabis. She was so stoned that she was paralyzed, laying on her bed, with all sorts of crazy paranoia and anxieties like the house was going to burn down, cops were going to bust in etc. Not surprisingly, she did not try drugs with me again and I broke it off with her shortly after. I am now dating a fellow psychonaut and having a fantastic time.
There is a way to get total abstainers to use, but when it comes down to it, I think some people just don't have the constitution for mind altering substances, no matter how much we want them to.
OP, I would save the rolls/trips for nights out with the guys for now. If you are just a monthly user, it shouldn't affect your relationship with your gf very much and you will have someone to cuddle with for the comedown. Every relationship has secrets. But if you decide that you want drugs to have a larger role in your life, with more frequent experimenting and new chemicals, well, it helps to have a gf who is into the same kind of stuff as you. I think we always have to sacrifice something when entering into relationships.
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I once had a gf that wouldn't even drink booze, let alone try drugs. The most mind-altering substance she had ever tried was a Red Bull. She was scared that drugs would make her "lose control". I was open with her about most of my use and even though she disapproved of it I guess she just thought I would change.
One day she saw a ganja sucker/lollipop sitting on my dresser that for whatever reason piqued her interest. I suggested that we try it and she surprisingly agreed. Unfortunately I had not tried this particular batch of lollipops and thus did not know that they were potent as fuck! I was stoned out of my mind from splitting it with her and I had somewhat of a tolerance to cannabis. She was so stoned that she was paralyzed, laying on her bed, with all sorts of crazy paranoia and anxieties like the house was going to burn down, cops were going to bust in etc. Not surprisingly, she did not try drugs with me again and I broke it off with her shortly after. I am now dating a fellow psychonaut and having a fantastic time.
There is a way to get total abstainers to use, but when it comes down to it, I think some people just don't have the constitution for mind altering substances, no matter how much we want them to.
OP, I would save the rolls/trips for nights out with the guys for now. If you are just a monthly user, it shouldn't affect your relationship with your gf very much and you will have someone to cuddle with for the comedown. Every relationship has secrets. But if you decide that you want drugs to have a larger role in your life, with more frequent experimenting and new chemicals, well, it helps to have a gf who is into the same kind of stuff as you. I think we always have to sacrifice something when entering into relationships.
Fuuuuck dude you gave your gf a weed edible for her first trip?! I'm not surprised she had an anxiety attack, edibles are a completely different monster from smoking and it was her first time ooohh my gooood. You have basically solidified her rep of drugs stopping her from expanding her mind for the rest of her life :(
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Run for the fucking hills dude. Girls that are anti-drug are a huge no-no. Girls that use their periods as an excuse to act like total cunts are an even bigger no-no. She has free will. If a girl is over 15 years old and still does the "period" thing she is way too immature to be in a relationship.
And as for your idea of telling her shit from SR is safer. NOOOOOO
Do not ever fucking tell a girlfriend you use silkroad. Especially not a girl who is anti-drug. ESPECIALLY not a girl who is anti-drug and immature enough to use the "period" excuse. That is just asking for trouble.
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dissolve her in acid and cash in on her life insurance? fuck i need sleep
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Run for the fucking hills dude. Girls that are anti-drug are a huge no-no. Girls that use their periods as an excuse to act like total cunts are an even bigger no-no. She has free will. If a girl is over 15 years old and still does the "period" thing she is way too immature to be in a relationship.
And as for your idea of telling her shit from SR is safer. NOOOOOO
Do not ever fucking tell a girlfriend you use silkroad. Especially not a girl who is anti-drug. ESPECIALLY not a girl who is anti-drug and immature enough to use the "period" excuse. That is just asking for trouble.
QFT.
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I once had a gf that wouldn't even drink booze, let alone try drugs. The most mind-altering substance she had ever tried was a Red Bull. She was scared that drugs would make her "lose control". I was open with her about most of my use and even though she disapproved of it I guess she just thought I would change.
One day she saw a ganja sucker/lollipop sitting on my dresser that for whatever reason piqued her interest. I suggested that we try it and she surprisingly agreed. Unfortunately I had not tried this particular batch of lollipops and thus did not know that they were potent as fuck! I was stoned out of my mind from splitting it with her and I had somewhat of a tolerance to cannabis. She was so stoned that she was paralyzed, laying on her bed, with all sorts of crazy paranoia and anxieties like the house was going to burn down, cops were going to bust in etc. Not surprisingly, she did not try drugs with me again and I broke it off with her shortly after. I am now dating a fellow psychonaut and having a fantastic time.
There is a way to get total abstainers to use, but when it comes down to it, I think some people just don't have the constitution for mind altering substances, no matter how much we want them to.
OP, I would save the rolls/trips for nights out with the guys for now. If you are just a monthly user, it shouldn't affect your relationship with your gf very much and you will have someone to cuddle with for the comedown. Every relationship has secrets. But if you decide that you want drugs to have a larger role in your life, with more frequent experimenting and new chemicals, well, it helps to have a gf who is into the same kind of stuff as you. I think we always have to sacrifice something when entering into relationships.
Fuuuuck dude you gave your gf a weed edible for her first trip?! I'm not surprised she had an anxiety attack, edibles are a completely different monster from smoking and it was her first time ooohh my gooood. You have basically solidified her rep of drugs stopping her from expanding her mind for the rest of her life :(
Yes, I must say in retrospect it was a horrible idea. I felt pretty bad about it. But just hearing this girl say she wanted to try anything mind-altering was like hearing Hitler say he wanted to try pacifism. I got excited. She definitely wasn't about to smoke it. And I had no idea how strong just one little sucker could be... but hey, live and learn.
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I once had a gf that wouldn't even drink booze, let alone try drugs. The most mind-altering substance she had ever tried was a Red Bull. She was scared that drugs would make her "lose control". I was open with her about most of my use and even though she disapproved of it I guess she just thought I would change.
One day she saw a ganja sucker/lollipop sitting on my dresser that for whatever reason piqued her interest. I suggested that we try it and she surprisingly agreed. Unfortunately I had not tried this particular batch of lollipops and thus did not know that they were potent as fuck! I was stoned out of my mind from splitting it with her and I had somewhat of a tolerance to cannabis. She was so stoned that she was paralyzed, laying on her bed, with all sorts of crazy paranoia and anxieties like the house was going to burn down, cops were going to bust in etc. Not surprisingly, she did not try drugs with me again and I broke it off with her shortly after. I am now dating a fellow psychonaut and having a fantastic time.
There is a way to get total abstainers to use, but when it comes down to it, I think some people just don't have the constitution for mind altering substances, no matter how much we want them to.
OP, I would save the rolls/trips for nights out with the guys for now. If you are just a monthly user, it shouldn't affect your relationship with your gf very much and you will have someone to cuddle with for the comedown. Every relationship has secrets. But if you decide that you want drugs to have a larger role in your life, with more frequent experimenting and new chemicals, well, it helps to have a gf who is into the same kind of stuff as you. I think we always have to sacrifice something when entering into relationships.
Fuuuuck dude you gave your gf a weed edible for her first trip?! I'm not surprised she had an anxiety attack, edibles are a completely different monster from smoking and it was her first time ooohh my gooood. You have basically solidified her rep of drugs stopping her from expanding her mind for the rest of her life :(
Yes, I must say in retrospect it was a horrible idea. I felt pretty bad about it. But just hearing this girl say she wanted to try anything mind-altering was like hearing Hitler say he wanted to try pacifism. I got excited. She definitely wasn't about to smoke it. And I had no idea how strong just one little sucker could be... but hey, live and learn.
Lmao you say live and learn but knowing how conventional she is, she's probably going to go to a therapist just trying to deal with that one trip xD
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Ikr, I had all the people around me saying that i 'should stop', 'its illegal', 'its bad!' and now im selling them that shit 8)
Just drop her some and she'll thank you later :P
Locker.
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To me this is the same kind of control freak that thinks jacking off to porn is cheating or immoral. Do not compromise your freedoms when you know you are in the right. That is all.
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MDMA with the one you love = TOTAL OVERWHELMING FEELING OF LOVE
Keep us updated on how the break up goes :)
I hope she isn't on the lease
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Maybe you have to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone who would simply breakup with you over something as minute as MDMA use?
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Maybe you have to ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship with someone who would simply breakup with you over something as minute as MDMA use?
Exactly right. I suspect she was overreacting and probably bluffing, but we'll see..
She is on the lease. But anyway the place would be too big and expensive by myself anyway.
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@ozzy reading your post even though it dosent contain alot of info reminded me EXACTLY EXACTLY of the situation I was in with my ex girl. The part where she trys to control what you do....dont take drugs etc ........and how you say that "your a lazy type of guy and she helps you stay focused"....and shes in all your business all the time . Im sorry to say it man but from my personal experience thats NOT going to work out in the long run. I dont know about you but I cant change who I am or my mentality for someone else other than myself. Your in that stage where YOUVE CHANGED your life around to SUIT HER AGENDA that shes made you BELIEVE is bettering yourself....but it wont last..... your not happy now and you never will be itll only get worse until you break up or you go and cheat on her like I did to my ex. Tell me am I right or wrong ??? I was with that girl for 3 years and she even had two misscarriages(bad womb I suppose :P) but the whole time I wasnt really happy inside and I knew we where diffrent people with diffrent beliefs. Its sad to say but pro-drug/anti-drug is like a fucking religion...its like your jewish and shes muslim. I thank god every time I think about my ex that I didnt have kids with her THANK GOD THANK GOD and THANK GOD again. Im with this chick now thats fucking awesome shes not a druggie but is pro-drugs and likes trying with me occasionaly....but not only that we click so much better theres no controling no rules...lol I cant believe I said that RULES for a grown man from his woman that dosent even sound right. Do yourself a huge favour and get out while its still relatively easy its not even about the drugs and you know it...stay strong brotha 8)
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@ozzy reading your post even though it dosent contain alot of info reminded me EXACTLY EXACTLY of the situation I was in with my ex girl. The part where she trys to control what you do....dont take drugs etc ........and how you say that "your a lazy type of guy and she helps you stay focused"....and shes in all your business all the time . Im sorry to say it man but from my personal experience thats NOT going to work out in the long run. I dont know about you but I cant change who I am or my mentality for someone else other than myself. Your in that stage where YOUVE CHANGED your life around to SUIT HER AGENDA that shes made you BELIEVE is bettering yourself....but it wont last..... your not happy now and you never will be itll only get worse until you break up or you go and cheat on her like I did to my ex. Tell me am I right or wrong ??? I was with that girl for 3 years and she even had two misscarriages(bad womb I suppose :P) but the whole time I wasnt really happy inside and I knew we where diffrent people with diffrent beliefs. Its sad to say but pro-drug/anti-drug is like a fucking religion...its like your jewish and shes muslim. I thank god every time I think about my ex that I didnt have kids with her THANK GOD THANK GOD and THANK GOD again. Im with this chick now thats fucking awesome shes not a druggie but is pro-drugs and likes trying with me occasionaly....but not only that we click so much better theres no controling no rules...lol I cant believe I said that RULES for a grown man from his woman that dosent even sound right. Do yourself a huge favour and get out while its still relatively easy its not even about the drugs and you know it...stay strong brotha 8)
Thanks jh0000n for the great post!
+1 about the rules thing.
And congratulations to you for actively changing something wrong in your life and finding an awesome chick now. I'm sure that she feels lucky too.
Actually what I told her was "I'll probably want to roll again". So I haven't said that I will definitely roll, and I certainly haven't mentioned my little stash. I suspect she thinks that her little tantrum was enough, I am not going to do it, and things are straight back to normal.
Yes I have wondered if it will work in the long run. I just don't have that ka-pow kaboom "I'm in love" feeling. Actually I don't think I have ever had that feeling with any girl. Maybe for about a minute once when I was rolling. I think the fact that I am like that probably contributes to her control freakishness, because she is really very perceptive on how I am feeling, and I used to tell her how hot she is etc often, now I don't much because it always seems that soon after I compliment her too much, we get into some kind of stupid fight over some nonsense.
And yes, like probably most of you other guys, I certainly think about cheating every time I meet an attractive woman. If I was rolling and had an opportunity with a sexy lady that I could get away with, if I'm honest with myself, I would probably do it. Hell, I'd probably do it when I'm straight. It's just sex really in my opinion. We will all be dead in 60, maybe 70 years. Hell, I wouldn't even hide it from anyone if it didn't have consequences. I'm not married. I actually don't see why people need to be monogamous except in order to simplify legal processes. I consider it unnatural. Marriage being until you die started at a time when the average lifespan was 45 years. Maybe it should be a 10 year commitment. But I digress.
Plus I'm not really on her whole "in 3 years we'll have babies", then we'll do this, blah blah blah timeline. I don't want to dick her around and waste her husband-hunting time but I needed to see if it was for me too.
I have changed since being with her, and I am definitely more motivated than I used to be (until I found these bloody forums, that is :-) ). Perhaps it's being older/wiser. She is physically hot which is great but emotionally immature (as are most hot women in my experience). She has the whole prince charming riding in on his white horse thing in her head. If we ever did get married, I think it would be very hard to work out any problems when we encountered any, she is not very flexible on many things. And I can't see any threesomes on the horizon either. :-)
I saw the movie "American Beauty" recently. It was really weird because that was about a week after I discovered SR and I really identified with the main Kevin Spacey character in it. I'm not as old and settled and dead inside as him but I really felt a similar emptiness and longing for the way things used to be. So I'm gonna roll, noone can stop me, and it's gonna be fucking great! And if she doesn't like that, then she can blow me. But I will pick my time wisely. Probably out with some mates.
It's just not that easy to just break things off, if it comes to that... I don't have another place to move into just like that, and I'm sure as shit not moving back with my parents at my age.
I still haven't decided if I'll tell her if I'm rolling or not. ATM I'm leaning towards not, but I still have a big nauseous feeling in the pit of my stomach that I am even thinking about keeping something that I think will be fun and excellent and exactly in line with what I want to do some kind of dirty secret.
I'll see how I feel when push comes to shove.
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But ozzy, polyamority is a double edged sword.
It's fun sleeping around but the contrary is that you'll have to deal with your girlfriend getting railed by some guy, sucking other guys dicks.. And potentially liking them more than you.
If you can deal with that, props to you. Personally it'd piss me off, which is why I stay away from exclusive relationships altogether.
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But ozzy, polyamority is a double edged sword.
It's fun sleeping around but the contrary is that you'll have to deal with your girlfriend getting railed by some guy, sucking other guys dicks.. And potentially liking them more than you.
If you can deal with that, props to you. Personally it'd piss me off, which is why I stay away from exclusive relationships altogether.
I wouldn't be down with Mrs Limetless sucking another man's cock. I do like exclusive relationships though, makes me chill out.
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But ozzy, polyamority is a double edged sword.
It's fun sleeping around but the contrary is that you'll have to deal with your girlfriend getting railed by some guy, sucking other guys dicks.. And potentially liking them more than you.
If you can deal with that, props to you. Personally it'd piss me off, which is why I stay away from exclusive relationships altogether.
I wouldn't be down with Mrs Limetless sucking another man's cock. I do like exclusive relationships though, makes me chill out.
Sounds like my friend umesh ;D He's big on the whole security thing as well, but the downside is that he worries a lot about it. I couldn't deal with the stress of that tbh. Personally I wouldn't trust a woman that much either, they cheat just as much, if not more than us. If I wanted the companionship I'd just get a dog.
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But ozzy, polyamority is a double edged sword.
It's fun sleeping around but the contrary is that you'll have to deal with your girlfriend getting railed by some guy, sucking other guys dicks.. And potentially liking them more than you.
If you can deal with that, props to you. Personally it'd piss me off, which is why I stay away from exclusive relationships altogether.
I wouldn't be down with Mrs Limetless sucking another man's cock. I do like exclusive relationships though, makes me chill out.
Sounds like my friend umesh ;D He's big on the whole security thing as well, but the downside is that he worries a lot about it. I couldn't deal with the stress of that tbh. Personally I wouldn't trust a woman that much either, they cheat just as much, if not more than us. If I wanted the companionship I'd just get a dog.
Yeah you guys are right. But a threesome every now and then wouldn't go astray, would it? It's not cheating if she's there!! I could deal with her getting railed by another guy as long as I got another girl sometimes.
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But ozzy, polyamority is a double edged sword.
It's fun sleeping around but the contrary is that you'll have to deal with your girlfriend getting railed by some guy, sucking other guys dicks.. And potentially liking them more than you.
If you can deal with that, props to you. Personally it'd piss me off, which is why I stay away from exclusive relationships altogether.
I wouldn't be down with Mrs Limetless sucking another man's cock. I do like exclusive relationships though, makes me chill out.
Sounds like my friend umesh ;D He's big on the whole security thing as well, but the downside is that he worries a lot about it. I couldn't deal with the stress of that tbh. Personally I wouldn't trust a woman that much either, they cheat just as much, if not more than us. If I wanted the companionship I'd just get a dog.
Yeah you guys are right. But a threesome every now and then wouldn't go astray, would it? It's not cheating if she's there!! I could deal with her getting railed by another guy as long as I got another girl sometimes.
But what about when she starts bailing on you to be with some other guy?
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Yeah you guys are right. But a threesome every now and then wouldn't go astray, would it? It's not cheating if she's there!! I could deal with her getting railed by another guy as long as I got another girl sometimes.
But what about when she starts bailing on you to be with some other guy?
As long as it wasn't behind my back. Like I said, as long as I get to do the same when I'm attracted to a nice piece of fluff. A relationship with me is about more than just a bit of dick.
Maybe like 2 free passes a year?
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Although I don't know either of you, I think you're just going to have to choose drugs or her, if she's unwilling to concede your viewpoint.
In my humble, highly anecdotal experience, I've seen a lot of people work things out. Kids v no kids. Atheist v theist. Art geeks v science geeks. Even commies v capitalists. But I've never seen drugs v adamantly opposed to drugs work out. It always ends in one person deciding the other is a huge loser.
I had a boyfriend who was the same way as your girlfriend. It just ended in a lot of lying, because his perspective seemed so completely irrational that I couldn't respect it. I don't feel great about that, but bottom line is that it wasn't going to work out.
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Although I don't know either of you, I think you're just going to have to choose drugs or her, if she's unwilling to concede your viewpoint.
In my humble, highly anecdotal experience, I've seen a lot of people work things out. Kids v no kids. Atheist v theist. Art geeks v science geeks. Even commies v capitalists. But I've never seen drugs v adamantly opposed to drugs work out. It always ends in one person deciding the other is a huge loser.
I had a boyfriend who was the same way as your girlfriend. It just ended in a lot of lying, because his perspective seemed so completely irrational that I couldn't respect it. I don't feel great about that, but bottom line is that it wasn't going to work out.
Thanks for the reply. Good to hear a female opinion. Yes I think you may be right. I am losing respect for her lack of - what's the word? - free-thinking? creativity? on this issue.
She literally said that people were stupid for trying to alter their consciousness. Fuck that's all I'm ever trying to do!! Every thought I have is trying to alter my own consciousness in some way. If you're not trying to alter your consciousness, you are not alive!!
I haven't brought it up again with her, but I have been finding myself thinking more and more about how stupid it is that I, as a grown man, can't put whatever I want into my body. I have a nice little bag of mdma there, and it's a rainy weekend. It would make my time much more entertaining. Kinda pissed me off today being forced to just sit around the house watching tv when I could have had a much better time watching tv wasted. :)
I'm just not sure how to bring it up again, after it blew up in my face so much last time... I certainly won't mention SR, but she will hound me mercilessly about where it came from if I let her know I have any stuff. I don't want to lie to her, but I certainly wouldn't show her all my stash either as she'd freak. And if she saw any of my stash she'd want to see it all.
It is fucking pissing me off that I can't do what I want.
Thanks for reading.
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You can't be a prisoner in your own home forever.
There is no reason to stay with someone you aren't compatible with. If you do decide to broach the subject again certainly don't show her your stash and absolutely do not mention silkroad under any circumstances, it will not end well for you at all.
But really I think we all know what needs to be done. You've gotta live your own life, you can't be an accessory to hers, it will only make you miserable and angry, eventually you will just resent her.
Someone posted a video the other night of one of Terrence Mckenna's speeches, he said something very applicable to your situation. "You must have a plan, if you don't have a plan, you will become a part of someone else's plan"
Which is bad.
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Dude, just find a new girl.
I know. It's hard.
But that's life. You move on. There is no better advice that anyone can give you.
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Do not hide it from her. She should honestly accept you for who you are...But, like my girlfriend show appropriate concern if you take things too far.
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Really, I'd just ditch her.
If a girl can't understand your hobbies, she's no worthy of you.
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Wow, this is a pretty interesting and emotionally honest thread! Who'd have guessed?
It sounds to me its more about the control than anything else. If it was purely about drugs then you should be able to talk to her and show her the stats and make her see reason. It sounds to me that she is insecure and worried that you are going to do something she's not a part of and that will pull you away from her. Maybe she's sensed that you're not totally on board with the babies-and-picket fence in three years thing and she feels that this will be just one more thing driving you apart.
It really does sound like you are in a relationship you've let go past its use-by date because it's too much of a hassle to break up. I would suggest you go the complete honesty route (other than telling her where you score from) and let her know you are going to do it and you'd rather do it with her than without her but you're not willing to lie to her. But she can't use emotional blackmail to try and stop you - that's just not on in any healthy relationship.
And I will admit, many many years ago, I was the insecure-control-freak girlfriend - only because I suspected I was more into the relationship than him. Nowdays I can recognise it was exactly my issues that drove us apart and I only want a relationship where both of us can be completely ourselves or what's the point?
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I'm in the middle of a hash session right now, so don't really have the energy to read this entire thread but read the first page or so and all I've gotta say that could be useful to you is this documentary my buddy showed me the other day talking about the truth behind ecstasy-it's history, how it became illegal, statistics on deaths (only 2 in LA over 3 years total, I believe) and interviews with people who have said it has improved their lives.
MDMA is one of the only drugs that, when people are done using it, most are generally happy that they did! I mean, how often to you hear of a crack addict say "I'm glad I smoked crack 10 years straight".
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1564288654365150131
Just tell her you found an interesting looking documentary and that she should watch it with you, its quite fascinating.
hope this helps brother
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I have had the exact same problem and instead of just saying break up with her, I am willing to share my experience.
Me and my gf have been together for around 6yrs. We met around 10yrs ago, but got back together. I recently got engaged to her (pre SR). When we first got together she was pretty into the drugs and was more of a fiend than me so when I discovered SR, I didn't think there would be any issues at all. Wrong.
I discussed the subject and all I got was yelling about how drugs on the internet was bad, getting them sent to our home was bad, associating her with this was bad, am I a drug addict now, how much and I going to use etc etc. It got to the point where explaining was doing nothing. Anything I said was met with her screaming an answer or a "question" at me which was pretty much saying I shouldnt do it. I had a bit of trouble understanding the issue, as drugs have never been that big off an issue. Sure, over the past couple of yrs, we have had only small amounts. We traveled around South America for a while and there were amnts of coke, SE asia with the pot and shrooms etc which were never an issue but now I can get whatever I want delivered to my door.. Ok, so I dont have the best willpower, but still............
That night, I just had to leave her be. I refused to enter into any further discussion as the yelling at me was going nowhere. I bought it up the next day, with the same result. Anything she said had a well thought out reply but it didnt matter. I am an asshole not doing what she wanted.
Next step was an email. If I cant discuss the issue, I will write. I outlined my opinion and made it clear it has moved beyond buying drugs on the internet. It was about doing something that I wanted to do, and her yelling and refusing to listen to why I make choices and am comfortable doing so. How this is my life, I am here for another 40ish years and I will experience and make my own choices. Yes, you may disagree, but I am free to make the decision and live with the consequences.
I waited for a reply. No email back, but some sort of reply....... 4 days go by, nothing. She actually logged into her email when I was sitting next to her and turned to me, expecting some sort of reply, but I wanted her to initiate the conversation. She looked waited, then went about her business.
..... I hate text walls, so am going to have a cigarette and write some more in a moment.
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So when I left for work, I said to her something along the lines of "You have known me for the past 1yrs, nothing I do should come as a surprise. I understand what you are saying but I need to make my own choices, even if you believe I am wrong. You need to decide if I am the person you want to be with." Then off I went to work.
The next night we were going out so I bought her to a bar to have a discussion where (hopefully) she would not yell and we could have an open discussion.
The issues were:
Are you now going to be doing drugs every weekend and how much will you be spending?
Will you be doing drugs when we have kids?
I am not comfortable with drugs getting sent to our address.
I would prefer you to buy off the street rather than the internet.
Are you willing to break up over drugs?
Well the reply went something like:
I am an adult and I will use and spend what I am comfortable with.
Yes, I will be rippin lines off little Johnnys head. Seriously, I am responsible enough to decide when that happens if we have children.
I take all the necessary precautions and will continue to do so. If you do not understand the precautions I have taken, I can do nothing more.
You would prefer me getting stabbed for low quality stuff for more danger of getting caught?
Yes, not due to the drugs, but due to the blanket censorship of something I chose to do.
We had an open discussion where she somewhat listened to me and somewhat accepted this is no longer open for discussion. I buy small amounts and went rolling last weekend.
If you are going to stay with this girl for the long term, you need to be able discuss issues like this like an adult. So from experience, take her somewhere public and discuss the issue where she has less chance of going crazy. I believe hiding stuff in a relationship just causes bigger issues. You know for a fact that if she finds out the first thing she is going to say is "If you could hide this from me, what else are you hiding?"
P.s If you do discuss in public, hide your stash at another address in case she goes ballistic ;) Good luck.
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Thanks so much for the reply, zero effect. Sounds almost exactly like I expect my situation to be.
Me and my gf have been together for around 6yrs. We met around 10yrs ago, but got back together. I recently got engaged to her (pre SR). When we first got together she was pretty into the drugs and was more of a fiend than me so when I discovered SR, I didn't think there would be any issues at all. Wrong.
Interesting. Girls really change their attitudes when there's a chance of a baby. Everything's about the baby and nesting.
That night, I just had to leave her be. I refused to enter into any further discussion as the yelling at me was going nowhere. I bought it up the next day, with the same result. Anything she said had a well thought out reply but it didnt matter. I am an asshole not doing what she wanted.
That's the situation I was in a couple of weeks ago. I have just left it until now. I never mentioned my stash/SR or anything else. I just stated that I "probably still want to do it again". She probably thinks it's over, crisis averted...
Next step was an email. If I cant discuss the issue, I will write. I outlined my opinion and made it clear it has moved beyond buying drugs on the internet. It was about doing something that I wanted to do, and her yelling and refusing to listen to why I make choices and am comfortable doing so. How this is my life, I am here for another 40ish years and I will experience and make my own choices. Yes, you may disagree, but I am free to make the decision and live with the consequences.
I waited for a reply. No email back, but some sort of reply....... 4 days go by, nothing. She actually logged into her email when I was sitting next to her and turned to me, expecting some sort of reply, but I wanted her to initiate the conversation. She looked waited, then went about her business.
Yes, I have thought about doing this, and I do think it would be a good way to state my position without getting shouted down (which I am 100% sure will happen). It seems like a good way for her to take it in at her own pace, in her own time. Plus she would respect me taking her feelings into account enough to actually write it out for her.
I just can't get myself to the point where I think it's safe to put stuff about my drug use in writing. I just don't want that to be shared with anyone. That email would be a ticking time bomb. I can't do that.
I could print it, and take it off her when she's finished reading, except most of the advantage of writing it is giving her time to mull it over. I just don't know how to do it safely.
Are you willing to break up over drugs?
Yes, not due to the drugs, but due to the blanket censorship of something I chose to do.
Good answer on this one. It is only sort-of about the drugs for me. I know something else will come up through the course of our relationship, as I am more liberal than her on most issues.
We had an open discussion where she somewhat listened to me and somewhat accepted this is no longer open for discussion. I buy small amounts and went rolling last weekend.
How long was it between the discussion and when you took something? Was it a problem when you said you were going? Did she go with you, or did you go out with friends? I'd love her to come with me, but not if she'll be a downer.
She did say something when she was having her tantrum about me cheating on her and using the X as an excuse. I know she had problems with an ex-boyfriend who used to get sloppy drunk often and ruin nights by getting kicked out of clubs, but she's still (distant) friends with him, and doesn't hate him, so I doubt he cheated on her using drunkenness as an excuse.
If you are going to stay with this girl for the long term, you need to be able discuss issues like this like an adult. So from experience, take her somewhere public and discuss the issue where she has less chance of going crazy. I believe hiding stuff in a relationship just causes bigger issues. You know for a fact that if she finds out the first thing she is going to say is "If you could hide this from me, what else are you hiding?"
+1, great comments. I think I will push the long term thing because she is always looking for commitment from me. If I can turn it into a symbol of how committed she is, maybe she will come to the party.
It's just honestly not a discussion for me. I AM going to do roll, either behind her back, or if we break up, or preferably with her knowledge/blessing.
I don't see why it's an issue really. If she's worried about me becoming a drug addict, I can give her a commitment not to dose more than once every three months. That doesn't bother me. It's just the blanket ban on something I want to do, with no other options. No reasons, just banned. Fuck that.
I think there is at least a bit of a chance that I can get her to listen to reason, or at least agree that I'm going to do it... I really really have to pick the right moment to bring it up (maybe after a bit of wine/nice dinner), and be prepared for the tantrum. I think if I stay reasonable and state my opinions reasonably, like you did, I can help her come around.
I'm still not going to mention SR. Just way too much explanation, even though SR and these great forums is what alleviates lots of my own fears about quality and purity. I'll have to hold my tongue pretty hard when she inevitably brings up the issue of drug purity. I'm thinking about getting a test kit so I can say I tested it myself, or maybe even demonstrate testing it. But that's only if we get to that. I have no doubts this shit is pure. 8)
Another question, you said you were going for a cigarette before, how does she feel about your smoking? No offence, but I know if I took up smoking, she would drop me straight away, and honestly I wouldn't blame her at all. I would drop her too. The dude does not abide. ;D Does your fiance smoke as well?
P.s If you do discuss in public, hide your stash at another address in case she goes ballistic ;) Good luck.
Damn, I don't have another place to leave my stash. Except work, which I wouldn't do for obvious reasons. Maybe I'll have to go and bury everything again. But that was a lot of hassle the last time. :) Plus I don't like driving with drugs in the car.
Yeah I won't show her my little stash anyway. If I was going to show her something I'll just make it a few pills. That's also a little hard because I'll be making my own gel caps.
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My and girl have always smoked weed together since we have been together. we do this about once a week as we don't live in a house togeather (yet). When i told her about a year ago i wanted to move onto harder drugs occasionally like MDMA drone and coke etcc.. she was upset. Because her older brother does drugs like acid, mdma and shrooms pretty much every week and is a daily cannabis smoker. He has constantly told her that these drugs are bad as they have effected his mental health. So naturally shes gunna have problem with me starting to use them.
But I was honest with her (expect telling her i get them off the internet, but she knows that what i get isn't cut with shit.) and told her that i wouldn't be using them any where near as often as weekly, once a mouth at the most, and that i wouldn't do anything stupid and keep within my limits. I have kept to my word ever since and she's fine with it now. Unfortunately she doesn't want to join in with me when i roll or rail a line, but thats up to her moral decisions obviously :) But hey, i always end up doing them with friends at parties anyway so its not that much of a big a deal if she doesn't want to because she's never at these party's.
its best to be honest and mature about it, dont 'not do' drugs because she tells you. Leave it up to her to make the decision, if she has such a massive problem with it, she might leave you. But that's her loss anyway.
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Good luck to you. Just never mention silkroad no matter what. You will definitely regret it, probably soon.
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ORGY-PORGY ORGY-PORGY ORGY-PORGY
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TWO OPTIONS
1. Quit doing drugs
2. Dump the closed minded, irrational, controlling ball and chain that is preventing you from enjoying this wonderful gift we call life
That, indeed!
Giving up the drugs may or may not be a big thing to you, but its the start of a spiral that will end with not being allowed to scratch your balls in your own home at some point.
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I could print it, and take it off her when she's finished reading, except most of the advantage of writing it is giving her time to mull it over. I just don't know how to do it safely.
How long was it between the discussion and when you took something? Was it a problem when you said you were going? Did she go with you, or did you go out with friends? I'd love her to come with me, but not if she'll be a downer.
+1, great comments. I think I will push the long term thing because she is always looking for commitment from me. If I can turn it into a symbol of how committed she is, maybe she will come to the party.
Another question, you said you were going for a cigarette before, how does she feel about your smoking? No offence, but I know if I took up smoking, she would drop me straight away, and honestly I wouldn't blame her at all. I would drop her too. The dude does not abide. ;D Does your fiance smoke as well?
Damn, I don't have another place to leave my stash. Except work, which I wouldn't do for obvious reasons. Maybe I'll have to go and bury everything again. But that was a lot of hassle the last time. :) Plus I don't like driving with drugs in the car.
My email was more of a general discussion rather than a specific talk about drugs. You could always tell her first that you want to discuss the drug situation and refer to it in the letter without actually naming it.
Between ordering and taking it was around a week but it was after we had the discussion. TBH, it wasnt planned at all. I got home after a couple of beers and decided to go out. I went by myself and ended up meeting someone who I used to live with in another state. She mentioned I looked like crap the next day which prob had more to the alcohol I drank before the M. I think she would be very hesitant trying anything I buy off SR for the simple reason she doesnt agree with me buying it. This is a work in progress.
Yeah cigarettes are a waste of time. Bad for you health, bad for your wallet etc etc. I may go through a pack once a month? Sometimes will buy a pack, smoke 1 or 2, get disgusted with buying them and throw them out. She doesnt smoke and I doesnt like me to either but its only a couple when I have a beer.
I will pm with an idea I have had for keeping a stash safe outside the house.
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my honest opinion is..
if you believe and really want to stay with that person for the rest of your life, go for it. leave the drugs behind and try go on with your life.
if not just say goodbye and pack your stuff.
You really need to put both thinks an weight the value of which one. In the end if the 2 things cannot be put together the question will be.
what is more important the girl or the drugs?
anything else is a little bit utopia unless the girl starts to understand what all the "drug business" is all about and can live with it.
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It's not really just about the drugs though, it's about the controlling. With girls like that it's just a matter of time until it snowballs, and before you know it you are one of those poor bastards who circle the block listening to their radio because they don't want to go home
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yep but I believe in multiple layers of trust / respect.
We are discussing drugs and that's why I stated my opinion as above. A lot of person don't feel comfortable around drug environments. or even with people that do drugs.
But I see the opposite too. I see people that never did drugs hanging around with junkies. I guess you need to have a lot of respect and comprehension on situations like that.
But some people have their brains formatted with a 3 pass secure erase so it's take it or leave it.
with girls in general you need to keep them on their toes. if you're a "nice guy" after 2 years you are making the shopping and cooking for them. I'm joking but it is a little bit true also.
Men tend not to give a fuck. If a men gives power to a girl then he is fucked because she will fight for maximum control. The girl only needs to know you can leave anytime and when you are taking attitude you are for real. Simple psychology.
Avoid girls taking control of the relationship is one thing. "Forcing" a girl to live with your drug/habits/friends is a lot different.
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I'll start by saying i haven't read the whole thread and I will, but i gotta go to sleep. This was just too crazy to not post about!
Time to look for a new girlfriend. I couldnt life with a woman who doesnt have the same hobby like me.
How stupid is that ? You are on LSD and come home and your gf wants a discussion ... (i would eat her face)
Only if you and your gf are on the same mood, a relationship can work.
This totally happened in the US! less than a month ago!
Some person tripping(the article claims on LSD) Ate some homeless dudes face! Over 80% of it if i remember correctly! he got shot to death by the cops when he wouldn't stop. the homeless dude survived but has serious medical conditions now, obviously.
They were claiming it was the start of a zombie apocalypse! haha what a joke.