Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: dss3i on October 07, 2012, 06:00 pm
-
Letting the child use means you would let the child use a drug that is currently classified as illegal, but doesn't have to be heroin, it may be any drug, such as weed. It also doesn't mean you have to let the child use irresponsibly or excessively (your opinion of irresponsible/excessive counts, not the child's). You also don't have to let the child start using as soon as it becomes a teenager, it may well be allowed to start at 17, still vote that you'd let it, if you'd let it at 17.
I think it is interesting how culture makes certain drugs accepted and others not. I am from Sweden and from the age of 15 I've always been offered alcohol at home and it hasn't been stigmatized at all. I'm wondering if weed was legal, would my parents then offer me a joint instead of a glass of wine after dinner? It would certainly feel strange, but that's most likely due to culture and may be changed. It would also be a bit strange for me if my parents told me they are taking LSD tonight (I'm not a baby anymore so they don't have to spend every night watching me). I'm guessing there are a few parents on this forum, so I'm asking you all the question above. Pick your answer (x) and feel free to add an explanation. You don't have to be a parent to vote, imagination will do.
-
Got a 4 year old myself, and my answer would be a cross between (1) and (2).
I wouldn't let my kid use before the age of 18, but I wouldn't tell him I've used until he did turn 18. Before he turned 18, I wouldn't tell him at all Ive used.
No particular reason for that. I guess I figure at 18, he'll be an adult and should know what his dad has done in the past. Before that, he's still my boy and any image he has of me I'd like to frame in a more positive light.
-
Hey OP,
This is a fishy question for an alleged 18 year old girl to be asking. I smell news paper (as opposed to bacon)
but secondly you could have just made an actual poll for this thread instead of tryin to keep track of it manually.
maybe some people would vote, but not want to speak up.
-
It also doesn't mean you have to let the child use irresponsibly or excessively.
I don't have kids and being 47, I think it's a little late to do so now. I do have one point to make though regarding the quote above. I don't know if you perhaps just worded it that way, without really thinking about it, or if you really believe this. I wonder how you *let* the child use responsibly? By the time a kid is in their teens, they are craving independence and freedom. They are away from the influence of their parents more and more often. At school, hanging out with their friends, etc. Many kids smoke pot and their parent's don't "let them". They just do it because they want to, or are influenced by their friends. Even if you "let them" use, say marijuana, how do you *control* how much they use, or whether they use it responsibly? What they think is responsible use and what you think is responsible use may be two different things. You may think smoking weed on school nights is not responsible use, but they may feel different. What if they say, "well dad, I've seen you have a drink on a work night tons of times! If you think that is irresponsible then why were you doing it?"
I think that last sentence makes a good point and illustrates what I believe. Watching my nieces and nephews and the children of women I've dated on a long term basis,(so I do have experience with children) I believe children learn much more from watching us (their parents and important people in their lives) and how we behave, than from what we tell them. I think most would agree with that wouldn't they? My point being, kids are going to learn more about "responsible use" from watching us and how we use a drug, be it alcohol, or if we choose to do it in front of them marijuana. Whether we believe marijauna should be legal, or not, using an illegal substance in front of a child who may not be old enough to understand why you made a personal choice to use this substance, IMO sends a strong message by itself. If you don't want to use illegal drugs around your kids that's very understandable,. (Especially in the US where parents have had the cops knocking at their door after little Johnny commented on the funny cigarettes Daddy smokes) However, if you drink in front of your children, how you use alcohol may have quite an influence on how your kids use it, or other substances, in those first years of experimentation and use. I believe that watching my grandfather (who was an alcoholic) and father (who was a heavy drinker) definitely influenced how I used drugs (I include alcohol as a drug) in my first years of using them. Lets just say I don't believe I was taught to use substances responsibly. I had to learn that on my own, after many years. Kids learn a LOT from watching how their parents interact in their daily lives.
I'm sure smoking cigarettes, when your child knows they're very detrimental to your health and knows that you are aware of that, sends a strong message too. Again, they may be too young to unnderstand the choice, but there is still a message being sent I'm sure. The fact that cigarettes are supposed to be so bad for us, yet they are legal, sends a message too. About society. government, personal choice etc
-
Hey OP,
This is a fishy question for an alleged 18 year old girl to be asking. I smell news paper (as opposed to bacon)
but secondly you could have just made an actual poll for this thread instead of tryin to keep track of it manually.
maybe some people would vote, but not want to speak up.
Why is it fishy? I'm 17 but I will be 18 in less than 6 months. I didn't want to put my exact birth date in my profile :) If I were making a newspaper article of it I would have said so in the thread and also asked people if they're okay with being quoted (if I wanted to quote people in the article). What does smelling bacon indicate? I thought about a poll, but I didn't know how to make it and wasn't up for finding it out.
-
It also doesn't mean you have to let the child use irresponsibly or excessively.
I don't have kids and being 47, I think it's a little late to do so now. I do have one point to make though regarding the quote above. I don't know if you perhaps just worded it that way, without really thinking about it, or if you really believe this. I wonder how you *let* the child use responsibly? By the time a kid is in their teens, they are craving independence and freedom. They are away from the influence of their parents more and more often. At school, hanging out with their friends, etc. Many kids smoke pot and their parent's don't "let them". They just do it because they want to, or are influenced by their friends. Even if you "let them" use, say marijuana, how do you *control* how much they use, or whether they use it responsibly? What they think is responsible use and what you think is responsible use may be two different things. You may think smoking weed on school nights is not responsible use, but they may feel different. What if they say, "well dad, I've seen you have a drink on a work night tons of times! If you think that is irresponsible then why were you doing it?"
What you think is responsible applies. It doesn't matter what the kid thinks is responsible. If you don't think it is responsible to smoke on week nights you will not allow the kid to do this but you will still "vote" that you would let the kid use drugs, because you allow some sort of use (under your regulations).
How you control the child's use isn't really part of my question, and it may well be impossible.
I think that last sentence makes a good point and illustrates what I believe. Watching my nieces and nephews and the children of women I've dated on a long term basis,(so I do have experience with children) I believe children learn much more from watching us (their parents and important people in their lives) and how we behave, than from what we tell them. I think most would agree with that wouldn't they? My point being, kids are going to learn more about "responsible use" from watching us and how we use a drug, be it alcohol, or if we choose to do it in front of them marijuana. Whether we believe marijauna should be legal, or not, using an illegal substance in front of a child who may not be old enough to understand why you made a personal choice to use this substance, IMO sends a strong message by itself. If you don't want to use illegal drugs around your kids that's very understandable,. (Especially in the US where parents have had the cops knocking at their door after little Johnny commented on the funny cigarettes Daddy smokes) However, if you drink in front of your children, how you use alcohol may have quite an influence on how your kids use it, or other substances, in those first years of experimentation and use. I believe that watching my grandfather (who was an alcoholic) and father (who was a heavy drinker) definitely influenced how I used drugs (I include alcohol as a drug) in my first years of using them. Lets just say I don't believe I was taught to use substances responsibly. I had to learn that on my own, after many years. Kids learn a LOT from watching how their parents interact in their daily lives.
I'm sure smoking cigarettes, when your child knows they're very detrimental to your health and knows that you are aware of that, sends a strong message too. Again, they may be too young to unnderstand the choice, but there is still a message being sent I'm sure. The fact that cigarettes are supposed to be so bad for us, yet they are legal, sends a message too. About society. government, personal choice etc
Sure, kids will be influenced by adult behavior. Still, there are many more factors that will influence the child's approach to drugs. For instance, I also have alcoholics in my family, and instead of copying that behavior I didn't touch alcohol until I was 16 (in spite of being allowed to drink).
-
Hey OP,
This is a fishy question for an alleged 18 year old girl to be asking. I smell news paper (as opposed to bacon)
but secondly you could have just made an actual poll for this thread instead of tryin to keep track of it manually.
maybe some people would vote, but not want to speak up.
Poll added.
-
What does smelling bacon indicate?
Indicates that you like breakfast ? :)
-
<removed>
-
I'm a parent. This question is always loaded. If you don't let your kid know about and do drugs then your a hypocrite. If you do then you're not a good parent.
I think that I would rather be a hypocrite than a bad parent. The fact is that there are many things adults do that kids are not ready for, that's why they're called 'kids'. Fr'instance I wouldn't want my child having sex before they're ready. Kids shouldn't have to hold a job and pay rent and that's because they can't reasonably be expected to be mature and responsible enough to do this and/or go to school. Kids need guidance and security in order to become good people. Once they've achieved this, then by all means, go wild, do what you will. BUT realize that it also means that taking responsibility for your actions. If they've never learned responsibility then they can't possibly be expected to know what is alright for them, what their limits are and how to imbibe responsibly.
That's my 2 BtC worth. In summary I would answer #1 on your poll.
Good topic for discussion dss3i. There are many opinions here and congratulations to you for being mature enough to want to know more rather than just hop on a bandwagon and have everything laid out in black and white. If you were my kid I might just smoke a spliff with you - if I thought you were ready. ;)
-
I think as a parent you have to give your children the best information you can. At whatever age, if they ask you about drugs I'd try to give them as balanced a reply as I could, which would be tailored to suit their age. I would also set out clear boundaries for what I'd expect of their behaviour.
I'd be more upset if my child started smoking tobacco (at 16) than if they were smoking weed. Again, I'd try to explain why I feel this way and I would give them reasons based on my own personal experience.
I had good friends who's parents openly smoked weed in front of them from a young age. And, although I wouldn't do the same (if I still smoked the stuff), I don't think it harmed them too much.
-
This may seem like a strange point of view to some people, but I would prefer to be the first person my child smokes pot with. I started smoking when I was fifteen years old, and I'll be 30 next summer. I think I could have been a lot more responsible with it if I didn't have to lie to my parents about smoking pot. Plus I would rather them do it in my house and not have to worry about them getting popped for possession, and the various other negative things that go along with it. Would you rather know that they're safe or wondering what could happen to them while they're out sneaking around trying to get high?
Of course my kiddo might surprise me and have no interest in smoking which would be fine too. My wife's parents are lifestyle smokers like myself, and she didn't really start smoking much until we got together, she was around the age of 22.
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
-
Some might find it scary when their parents become strange.
Is that how you view people who take drugs?
What do you have to say about that?
You are starting to sound like a reporter. ???
-
Some might find it scary when their parents become strange.
Is that how you view people who take drugs?
What do you have to say about that?
You are starting to sound like a reporter. ???
WTF XD I'm no reporter! Perhaps I should go to college to become one if I'm already acting like one? :-\ But really, when I was a younger child, yes, that's how I viewed people on drugs (alcohol mostly). It was frightening.
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
If the child has the blanket-view that "ALL DRUGS ARE WRONG BECAUSE 'they' SAY SO", the child's opinion isn't based on proper knowledge.
A child (10 or under) shouldn't be made aware of drugs. Those should be kept out of sight and out of mind. But once they start hitting the teenage years, drugs are going to be something they'll encounter. It's not a bad parenting to let your kid know you partake. As for letting a child use before they turn 18... that depends fully on the maturity of the child. Non-addictive drugs only, and probably an exclusion for psychedelics as well. Bad parenting is in not educating a child, though. A proper education on how to stay safe is worth far more than a canned education about what to avoid.
That's my view, at least.
-
Some might find it scary when their parents become strange.
Is that how you view people who take drugs?
What do you have to say about that?
You are starting to sound like a reporter. ???
WTF XD I'm no reporter! Perhaps I should go to college to become one if I'm already acting like one? :-\ But really, when I was a younger child, yes, that's how I viewed people on drugs (alcohol mostly). It was frightening.
I can see where this is going. :-X :)
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
If the child has the blanket-view that "ALL DRUGS ARE WRONG BECAUSE 'they' SAY SO", the child's opinion isn't based on proper knowledge.
A child (10 or under) shouldn't be made aware of drugs. Those should be kept out of sight and out of mind. But once they start hitting the teenage years, drugs are going to be something they'll encounter. It's not a bad parenting to let your kid know you partake. As for letting a child use before they turn 18... that depends fully on the maturity of the child. Non-addictive drugs only, and probably an exclusion for psychedelics as well. Bad parenting is in not educating a child, though. A proper education on how to stay safe is worth far more than a canned education about what to avoid.
That's my view, at least.
Okay. Once the child is starting to become aware of drugs by itself (from school etc) and you notice this, will you still hide your own drug use from the child, or will you use some drug in front of the child, or even with the child if the child wants to?
-
Some might find it scary when their parents become strange.
Is that how you view people who take drugs?
What do you have to say about that?
You are starting to sound like a reporter. ???
WTF XD I'm no reporter! Perhaps I should go to college to become one if I'm already acting like one? :-\ But really, when I was a younger child, yes, that's how I viewed people on drugs (alcohol mostly). It was frightening.
I can see where this is going. :-X :)
Where is it going? Because I have no idea :)
-
even though they are illegal, but I wouldn't TELL them about current use, unless of course they asked, but I will be completely forthcoming with my history of use (Don't lie to your kids). I wouldn't "allow" drug use, but I would encourage open conversation about it. i.e. they won't get in trouble if they are honest about what they are doing. I hope I am able to instill the trust into my children that they don't feel the need to hide their curiosity of drugs from me, and I have been around the block enough times that I feel I can give them a fair perspective of the choices they are getting ready to make and let them decide. I didn't see that option listed to click up there though.
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
If the child has the blanket-view that "ALL DRUGS ARE WRONG BECAUSE 'they' SAY SO", the child's opinion isn't based on proper knowledge.
A child (10 or under) shouldn't be made aware of drugs. Those should be kept out of sight and out of mind. But once they start hitting the teenage years, drugs are going to be something they'll encounter. It's not a bad parenting to let your kid know you partake. As for letting a child use before they turn 18... that depends fully on the maturity of the child. Non-addictive drugs only, and probably an exclusion for psychedelics as well. Bad parenting is in not educating a child, though. A proper education on how to stay safe is worth far more than a canned education about what to avoid.
That's my view, at least.
Okay. Once the child is starting to become aware of drugs by itself (from school etc) and you notice this, will you still hide your own drug use from the child, or will you use some drug in front of the child, or even with the child if the child wants to?
I wouldn't go out of my way to use it in front of the child. I'm not a parent, so I'm not valid to be answering your questions, I'm just going with how I feel about it at the moment. If I ever do become a parent, my opinion may change.
But to continue with answering; I wouldn't go out of my way to use in front of the child, but to a certain degree I'd let them know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it(inside of the house), and why. I believe that treating a child like it can actually think for itself is important, though. And if the kid wanted to try it themselves... I wouldn't knowingly allow it until they 15. I would also keep my stash hidden, because I wouldn't want the kid doing it without my supervision. And if it became a choice between letting the kid do it under 15 with my supervision, or them just fucking off to do it with their friends with no supervision, I would change the 15+ ruling.
To put it simply: I trust me more than I trust a theoretical teenager so if it comes down to Me or Them, I'd want it to be me. I can, in the hypothetical that includes me having a child, provide knowledge, trust, and a safe environment for usage. But I would never encourage it. Oh, and I'd would actively discourage the addictive chemicals, caffeine included.
And I'm not so stupid as to think I know everything there is to know. I'd spend those ten+ years of hiding my usage from my kid doing a fuckton of research into all the drugs I use, so that I can have all the answers to the questions my kid would eventually ask.
-
even though they are illegal, but I wouldn't TELL them about current use, unless of course they asked, but I will be completely forthcoming with my history of use (Don't lie to your kids). I wouldn't "allow" drug use, but I would encourage open conversation about it. i.e. they won't get in trouble if they are honest about what they are doing. I hope I am able to instill the trust into my children that they don't feel the need to hide their curiosity of drugs from me, and I have been around the block enough times that I feel I can give them a fair perspective of the choices they are getting ready to make and let them decide. I didn't see that option listed to click up there though.
I think that falls under the third vote: that you'd use even though illegal, you would tell your children (if they asked), and you would let them use (not by saying "yes I allow it", but by saying "I don't like it, but I won't take any measures to stop you").
-
My parents don't use drugs at all and they never have as far as I know. It would strongly surprise me if they had. When I was 16 I had an impulse and told my mom that I smoke weed sometimes. First she said: "How was it? How does it feel?" Then she told me that she doesn't like it and that she wants me to stop. I asked her to not tell dad (he wouldn't take it so well) and she didn't. She continued to ask me every now and then if I've been smoking and I said "no" (didn't smoke in a few weeks) and then she stopped asking, probably forgot about it all together. Now I've started experimenting with some other drugs and I think my mom would really enjoy these drugs. Sometimes I feel the urge to tell her there's something out there that she might like to try, but it feels a bit awkward talking about these things with my mother. On the other hand she is only going to live once and if I don't bring her drugs and tell her about drugs nobody else ever will.
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
Wait a minute dssi3i, your main question was a poll that asked what a parent would do, not how a child felt about it. You're changing the parameters and trying to "stick it to us". The reality is that kids don't enjoy or like seeing their parents act like drunk jackasses. In fact nobody likes seeing this in someone they love. Doing drugs isn't about setting an example for your kids, it's a completely selfish act that allows someone to 'let go' and be free. It has it's time and place and that isn't in front of the kids. Would you have sex in front of a 9 yr old? No of course you wouldn't. It's unfair and out of context to ask if it's cool to let your kids in on something they're just not ready for.
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
If the child has the blanket-view that "ALL DRUGS ARE WRONG BECAUSE 'they' SAY SO", the child's opinion isn't based on proper knowledge.
A child (10 or under) shouldn't be made aware of drugs. Those should be kept out of sight and out of mind. But once they start hitting the teenage years, drugs are going to be something they'll encounter. It's not a bad parenting to let your kid know you partake. As for letting a child use before they turn 18... that depends fully on the maturity of the child. Non-addictive drugs only, and probably an exclusion for psychedelics as well. Bad parenting is in not educating a child, though. A proper education on how to stay safe is worth far more than a canned education about what to avoid.
That's my view, at least.
Okay. Once the child is starting to become aware of drugs by itself (from school etc) and you notice this, will you still hide your own drug use from the child, or will you use some drug in front of the child, or even with the child if the child wants to?
I wouldn't go out of my way to use it in front of the child. I'm not a parent, so I'm not valid to be answering your questions, I'm just going with how I feel about it at the moment. If I ever do become a parent, my opinion may change.
But to continue with answering; I wouldn't go out of my way to use in front of the child, but to a certain degree I'd let them know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it(inside of the house), and why. I believe that treating a child like it can actually think for itself is important, though. And if the kid wanted to try it themselves... I wouldn't knowingly allow it until they 15. I would also keep my stash hidden, because I wouldn't want the kid doing it without my supervision. And if it became a choice between letting the kid do it under 15 with my supervision, or them just fucking off to do it with their friends with no supervision, I would change the 15+ ruling.
To put it simply: I trust me more than I trust a theoretical teenager so if it comes down to Me or Them, I'd want it to be me. I can, in the hypothetical that includes me having a child, provide knowledge, trust, and a safe environment for usage. But I would never encourage it. Oh, and I'd would actively discourage the addictive chemicals, caffeine included.
And I'm not so stupid as to think I know everything there is to know. I'd spend those ten+ years of hiding my usage from my kid doing a fuckton of research into all the drugs I use, so that I can have all the answers to the questions my kid would eventually ask.
Nice answer. If they want LSD at 14 and are determined to get it with or without you, will they be allowed to under your supervision then? :) Would you take it with them? :)
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
Wait a minute dssi3i, your main question was a poll that asked what a parent would do, not how a child felt about it. You're changing the parameters and trying to "stick it to us". The reality is that kids don't enjoy or like seeing their parents act like drunk jackasses. In fact nobody likes seeing this in someone they love. Doing drugs isn't about setting an example for your kids, it's a completely selfish act that allows someone to 'let go' and be free. It has it's time and place and that isn't in front of the kids. Would you have sex in front of a 9 yr old? No of course you wouldn't. It's unfair and out of context to ask if it's cool to let your kids in on something they're just not ready for.
I think what a parent would do should be based on how a child felt about it. And no, uhm, maybe it's me but I wouldn't have sex in front of anyone regardless of their age :o
-
@ 14, if they were determined (as determined as I was to take LSD) I would give them my experience with it, and tell them of the fascinating depth of that drug, warn them of how powerful the effects can be, and encourage them to take their dose at the place where they feel most comfortable with people they trust completely....if they requested that to be @home with me, how could I say no?
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
If the child has the blanket-view that "ALL DRUGS ARE WRONG BECAUSE 'they' SAY SO", the child's opinion isn't based on proper knowledge.
A child (10 or under) shouldn't be made aware of drugs. Those should be kept out of sight and out of mind. But once they start hitting the teenage years, drugs are going to be something they'll encounter. It's not a bad parenting to let your kid know you partake. As for letting a child use before they turn 18... that depends fully on the maturity of the child. Non-addictive drugs only, and probably an exclusion for psychedelics as well. Bad parenting is in not educating a child, though. A proper education on how to stay safe is worth far more than a canned education about what to avoid.
That's my view, at least.
Okay. Once the child is starting to become aware of drugs by itself (from school etc) and you notice this, will you still hide your own drug use from the child, or will you use some drug in front of the child, or even with the child if the child wants to?
I wouldn't go out of my way to use it in front of the child. I'm not a parent, so I'm not valid to be answering your questions, I'm just going with how I feel about it at the moment. If I ever do become a parent, my opinion may change.
But to continue with answering; I wouldn't go out of my way to use in front of the child, but to a certain degree I'd let them know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it(inside of the house), and why. I believe that treating a child like it can actually think for itself is important, though. And if the kid wanted to try it themselves... I wouldn't knowingly allow it until they 15. I would also keep my stash hidden, because I wouldn't want the kid doing it without my supervision. And if it became a choice between letting the kid do it under 15 with my supervision, or them just fucking off to do it with their friends with no supervision, I would change the 15+ ruling.
To put it simply: I trust me more than I trust a theoretical teenager so if it comes down to Me or Them, I'd want it to be me. I can, in the hypothetical that includes me having a child, provide knowledge, trust, and a safe environment for usage. But I would never encourage it. Oh, and I'd would actively discourage the addictive chemicals, caffeine included.
And I'm not so stupid as to think I know everything there is to know. I'd spend those ten+ years of hiding my usage from my kid doing a fuckton of research into all the drugs I use, so that I can have all the answers to the questions my kid would eventually ask.
Nice answer. If they want LSD at 14 and are determined to get it with or without you, will they be allowed to under your supervision then? :) Would you take it with them? :)
In the context of your question, with regards to the fact that it will happen no matter what I chose... under my supervision, they would be allowed. But only if I have enough anti-anxiety meds in case things go wrong, and no I wouldn't do it myself. A stable and sober sitter is important.
But that would be a very grudging concession. In (hypothetical) reality, I would express the many reasons I think it's a bad idea(including the genetic predisposition to schizophrenia that everyone in my family has) as well as the many ways it can go wrong, the psychological difficulties, and the physiological discomfort. I would also strongly encourage the child to wait at least 4 years, in the case of LSD or any other psychedelic. Life is already hard enough for kids, no need for the risk of a bad trip.
-
@ 14, if they were determined (as determined as I was to take LSD) I would give them my experience with it, and tell them of the fascinating depth of that drug, warn them of how powerful the effects can be, and encourage them to take their dose at the place where they feel most comfortable with people they trust completely....if they requested that to be @home with me, how could I say no?
You couldn't say no, because you would be too flattered they picked you ;)
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
If the child has the blanket-view that "ALL DRUGS ARE WRONG BECAUSE 'they' SAY SO", the child's opinion isn't based on proper knowledge.
A child (10 or under) shouldn't be made aware of drugs. Those should be kept out of sight and out of mind. But once they start hitting the teenage years, drugs are going to be something they'll encounter. It's not a bad parenting to let your kid know you partake. As for letting a child use before they turn 18... that depends fully on the maturity of the child. Non-addictive drugs only, and probably an exclusion for psychedelics as well. Bad parenting is in not educating a child, though. A proper education on how to stay safe is worth far more than a canned education about what to avoid.
That's my view, at least.
Okay. Once the child is starting to become aware of drugs by itself (from school etc) and you notice this, will you still hide your own drug use from the child, or will you use some drug in front of the child, or even with the child if the child wants to?
I wouldn't go out of my way to use it in front of the child. I'm not a parent, so I'm not valid to be answering your questions, I'm just going with how I feel about it at the moment. If I ever do become a parent, my opinion may change.
But to continue with answering; I wouldn't go out of my way to use in front of the child, but to a certain degree I'd let them know what I'm doing, where I'm doing it(inside of the house), and why. I believe that treating a child like it can actually think for itself is important, though. And if the kid wanted to try it themselves... I wouldn't knowingly allow it until they 15. I would also keep my stash hidden, because I wouldn't want the kid doing it without my supervision. And if it became a choice between letting the kid do it under 15 with my supervision, or them just fucking off to do it with their friends with no supervision, I would change the 15+ ruling.
To put it simply: I trust me more than I trust a theoretical teenager so if it comes down to Me or Them, I'd want it to be me. I can, in the hypothetical that includes me having a child, provide knowledge, trust, and a safe environment for usage. But I would never encourage it. Oh, and I'd would actively discourage the addictive chemicals, caffeine included.
And I'm not so stupid as to think I know everything there is to know. I'd spend those ten+ years of hiding my usage from my kid doing a fuckton of research into all the drugs I use, so that I can have all the answers to the questions my kid would eventually ask.
Nice answer. If they want LSD at 14 and are determined to get it with or without you, will they be allowed to under your supervision then? :) Would you take it with them? :)
In the context of your question, with regards to the fact that it will happen no matter what I chose... under my supervision, they would be allowed. But only if I have enough anti-anxiety meds in case things go wrong, and no I wouldn't do it myself. A stable and sober sitter is important.
But that would be a very grudging concession. In (hypothetical) reality, I would express the many reasons I think it's a bad idea(including the genetic predisposition to schizophrenia that everyone in my family has) as well as the many ways it can go wrong, the psychological difficulties, and the physiological discomfort. I would also strongly encourage the child to wait at least 4 years, in the case of LSD or any other psychedelic. Life is already hard enough for kids, no need for the risk of a bad trip.
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
-
nothing to do with being flattered, more to do with wanting them to be able to experience the complete wonder that LSD can bring, and it only can come out fully when the set and setting are in tune, so to give them the best of what Lucy has to offer, I would accept if I were able to make that set and setting what it needed to be for them to be able to truly feel the power of light. Doesn't everyone want their kids to have the best that life has to offer them? Why would any parent deny a spiritually enlightening trip to a child who was bent on tripping (no matter how the trip would go). Who would want their child wandering in the time fog without a guide?
-
nothing to do with being flattered, more to do with wanting them to be able to experience the complete wonder that LSD can bring, and it only can come out fully when the set and setting are in tune, so to give them the best of what Lucy has to offer, I would accept if I were able to make that set and setting what it needed to be for them to be able to truly feel the power of light. Doesn't everyone want their kids to have the best that life has to offer them? Why would any parent deny a spiritually enlightening trip to a child who was bent on tripping (no matter how the trip would go). Who would want their child wandering in the time fog without a guide?
Well, when somebody asks me to sit them I always feel a little honored that they picked me :)
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
Wait a minute dssi3i, your main question was a poll that asked what a parent would do, not how a child felt about it. You're changing the parameters and trying to "stick it to us". The reality is that kids don't enjoy or like seeing their parents act like drunk jackasses. In fact nobody likes seeing this in someone they love. Doing drugs isn't about setting an example for your kids, it's a completely selfish act that allows someone to 'let go' and be free. It has it's time and place and that isn't in front of the kids. Would you have sex in front of a 9 yr old? No of course you wouldn't. It's unfair and out of context to ask if it's cool to let your kids in on something they're just not ready for.
I think what a parent would do should be based on how a child felt about it. And no, uhm, maybe it's me but I wouldn't have sex in front of anyone regardless of their age :o
No dssi3i - parenting is far more than just how your child feels about your actions. I can't really explain this but to say that not everything is comfortable and easy in family life. If I were to let my 5 yr old only live in a world that she was comfortable in all the time, she would never experience ballet or karate or go to school on the first day. These things are all uncomfortable for us both at first, but they contribute to her well being in the long run. To try and explain these things to her in the moment is pointless. At the end of the day we parents are just trying to do what we think is best at that moment.
-
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
Yep! Even though cocaine is addictive, and it's on my never-fly list. That is, I won't touch it and I would never allow any child I may have to touch it. My ultimate ruling, though... Keep in mind that I would focus a lot of education on addiction and addictive drugs, and why they should be avoided. But ultimately, I can't keep my hypothetical child away from it, right? The most I can do is let them know they're always safe, never arrested, and always loved with me.
If I caught my hypothetical child about to use some cocaine, I would interfere and stop them. But if my coke-addled child told me s/he was on coke and needed some comfort or whatever, I would give that.
But that doesn't really cover just how opposed I am to anything addictive. Addiction steals lives. Any addiction is bad, even a psychological addiction. And in my eyes, addition is like playing russian roulette. You might get away with a few uses and not end up an addict, or you might get it on the first time.
But again, I don't have a kid and my opinions might change if I do ever get one. But I'm also opposed to me having a child. :D
-
LOLZ. This is hilarious. All four posts above focus on if it is okay for the child to use drugs. My main question is if it is okay for the parent, but there isn't much discussion about that. The poll shows that so far most of you would or do use drugs as parents, even if they aren't legal. What about asking the children if they are okay with their parents doing drugs? All children won't like it. Some might find it scary when their parents become strange. What do you have to say about that?
Wait a minute dssi3i, your main question was a poll that asked what a parent would do, not how a child felt about it. You're changing the parameters and trying to "stick it to us". The reality is that kids don't enjoy or like seeing their parents act like drunk jackasses. In fact nobody likes seeing this in someone they love. Doing drugs isn't about setting an example for your kids, it's a completely selfish act that allows someone to 'let go' and be free. It has it's time and place and that isn't in front of the kids. Would you have sex in front of a 9 yr old? No of course you wouldn't. It's unfair and out of context to ask if it's cool to let your kids in on something they're just not ready for.
I think what a parent would do should be based on how a child felt about it. And no, uhm, maybe it's me but I wouldn't have sex in front of anyone regardless of their age :o
No dssi3i - parenting is far more than just how your child feels about your actions. I can't really explain this but to say that not everything is comfortable and easy in family life. If I were to let my 5 yr old only live in a world that she was comfortable in all the time, she would never experience ballet or karate or go to school on the first day. These things are all uncomfortable for us both at first, but they contribute to her well being in the run. To try and explain these things to her in the moment is pointless. At the end of the day we parents are just trying to do what we think is best at that moment.
I didn't mean that it should be based ONLY on how a child feels about it. I mean that it should be taken into consideration. I do realize there are things that small children don't understand the good of doing, such as taking a vaccination shot, which the parent will have to force them to do. I've been a babysitter for many many years and in my experience it can be worthwhile explaining things to children when they are 5.
-
Well dss31 - what would you do? Would you do drugs with your future kids? What's your answer to your own poll?
-
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
Yep! Even though cocaine is addictive, and it's on my never-fly list. That is, I won't touch it and I would never allow any child I may have to touch it. My ultimate ruling, though... Keep in mind that I would focus a lot of education on addiction and addictive drugs, and why they should be avoided. But ultimately, I can't keep my hypothetical child away from it, right? The most I can do is let them know they're always safe, never arrested, and always loved with me.
If I caught my hypothetical child about to use some cocaine, I would interfere and stop them. But if my coke-addled child told me s/he was on coke and needed some comfort or whatever, I would give that.
But that doesn't really cover just how opposed I am to anything addictive. Addiction steals lives. Any addiction is bad, even a psychological addiction. And in my eyes, addition is like playing russian roulette. You might get away with a few uses and not end up an addict, or you might get it on the first time.
But again, I don't have a kid and my opinions might change if I do ever get one. But I'm also opposed to me having a child. :D
Uhhhmm, hmmm, I don't think you got my question. If the child was determined to do cocaine and would get it from the streets and do it in some deserted house with older friends if you didn't provide it, then would you provide it and let the child do it at home with you, or would you give the child house arrest to prevent it from touching cocaine, or would you let it go do it in that house with those older kids?
Awww, okay, most children aren't planned so you might end up having some one way or another anyway.
-
Well dss31 - what would you do? Would you do drugs with your future kids? What's your answer to your own poll?
I don't know! :)
I THINK I wouldn't avoid drugs all together just because I have children, but I'd probably not have much time for drugs while running a family. It would be on rare occasions when I have a babysitter or when they are big enough to take care of themselves for a weekend. I don't think my children would like to do drugs together with me and their dad, but if they asked about it when they are 16+ I would consider it. I'd also have a no drug-policy that's not up for discussion until they turn 13. When they are 13 I'd probably lay out the facts and ask them to wait until they are 16 before they start experimenting with drugs, but if they wanted to try once or twice for some special occasion (not every weekend) I'd likely be okay with it. When they are 16 I'd be okay with some lighter drugs, but I wouldn't let them use stronger stuff with my permission until they are 18. Hopefully drug use wouldn't be much of an issue, because I can't imagine they'd like to risk their brain development after I tell them how drugs may effect the brain.
-
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
Yep! Even though cocaine is addictive, and it's on my never-fly list. That is, I won't touch it and I would never allow any child I may have to touch it. My ultimate ruling, though... Keep in mind that I would focus a lot of education on addiction and addictive drugs, and why they should be avoided. But ultimately, I can't keep my hypothetical child away from it, right? The most I can do is let them know they're always safe, never arrested, and always loved with me.
If I caught my hypothetical child about to use some cocaine, I would interfere and stop them. But if my coke-addled child told me s/he was on coke and needed some comfort or whatever, I would give that.
But that doesn't really cover just how opposed I am to anything addictive. Addiction steals lives. Any addiction is bad, even a psychological addiction. And in my eyes, addition is like playing russian roulette. You might get away with a few uses and not end up an addict, or you might get it on the first time.
But again, I don't have a kid and my opinions might change if I do ever get one. But I'm also opposed to me having a child. :D
Uhhhmm, hmmm, I don't think you got my question. If the child was determined to do cocaine and would get it from the streets and do it in some deserted house with older friends if you didn't provide it, then would you provide it and let the child do it at home with you, or would you give the child house arrest to prevent it from touching cocaine, or would you let it go do it in that house with those older kids?
Awww, okay, most children aren't planned so you might end up having some one way or another anyway.
Truth be told, I don't know what I'd do. I'm heavily opposed to cocaine for example, but if I have to choose between providing real cocaine or letting my kid get some shady drug dealer's uncertain-product? The harm reduction philosophy is partially about providing the real thing, isn't it? So to reduce harm, providing real cocaine is the best option?
I find it impossible to believe that any kid I may raise would demand to do cocaine, though. To the best of my ability, I would never raise an idiot like that. :)
-
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
Yep! Even though cocaine is addictive, and it's on my never-fly list. That is, I won't touch it and I would never allow any child I may have to touch it. My ultimate ruling, though... Keep in mind that I would focus a lot of education on addiction and addictive drugs, and why they should be avoided. But ultimately, I can't keep my hypothetical child away from it, right? The most I can do is let them know they're always safe, never arrested, and always loved with me.
If I caught my hypothetical child about to use some cocaine, I would interfere and stop them. But if my coke-addled child told me s/he was on coke and needed some comfort or whatever, I would give that.
But that doesn't really cover just how opposed I am to anything addictive. Addiction steals lives. Any addiction is bad, even a psychological addiction. And in my eyes, addition is like playing russian roulette. You might get away with a few uses and not end up an addict, or you might get it on the first time.
But again, I don't have a kid and my opinions might change if I do ever get one. But I'm also opposed to me having a child. :D
Uhhhmm, hmmm, I don't think you got my question. If the child was determined to do cocaine and would get it from the streets and do it in some deserted house with older friends if you didn't provide it, then would you provide it and let the child do it at home with you, or would you give the child house arrest to prevent it from touching cocaine, or would you let it go do it in that house with those older kids?
Awww, okay, most children aren't planned so you might end up having some one way or another anyway.
Truth be told, I don't know what I'd do. I'm heavily opposed to cocaine for example, but if I have to choose between providing real cocaine or letting my kid get some shady drug dealer's uncertain-product? The harm reduction philosophy is partially about providing the real thing, isn't it? So to reduce harm, providing real cocaine is the best option?
I find it impossible to believe that any kid I may raise would demand to do cocaine, though. To the best of my ability, I would never raise an idiot like that. :)
Yeaah, it is hard to believe, but maybe it's some foster kid your girlfriend wanted to adopt or adopted before you met her.
If the child was 14, I wouldn't provide any cocaine no matter what. A house arrest, a psychologist and some MRI scans of cocaine brains is what that child would get from me. If the child was at least 16 I might stretch the boundaries if the child was doing well in life in general and had some valid arguments for doing cocaine so early.
-
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
Yep! Even though cocaine is addictive, and it's on my never-fly list. That is, I won't touch it and I would never allow any child I may have to touch it. My ultimate ruling, though... Keep in mind that I would focus a lot of education on addiction and addictive drugs, and why they should be avoided. But ultimately, I can't keep my hypothetical child away from it, right? The most I can do is let them know they're always safe, never arrested, and always loved with me.
If I caught my hypothetical child about to use some cocaine, I would interfere and stop them. But if my coke-addled child told me s/he was on coke and needed some comfort or whatever, I would give that.
But that doesn't really cover just how opposed I am to anything addictive. Addiction steals lives. Any addiction is bad, even a psychological addiction. And in my eyes, addition is like playing russian roulette. You might get away with a few uses and not end up an addict, or you might get it on the first time.
But again, I don't have a kid and my opinions might change if I do ever get one. But I'm also opposed to me having a child. :D
Uhhhmm, hmmm, I don't think you got my question. If the child was determined to do cocaine and would get it from the streets and do it in some deserted house with older friends if you didn't provide it, then would you provide it and let the child do it at home with you, or would you give the child house arrest to prevent it from touching cocaine, or would you let it go do it in that house with those older kids?
Awww, okay, most children aren't planned so you might end up having some one way or another anyway.
Truth be told, I don't know what I'd do. I'm heavily opposed to cocaine for example, but if I have to choose between providing real cocaine or letting my kid get some shady drug dealer's uncertain-product? The harm reduction philosophy is partially about providing the real thing, isn't it? So to reduce harm, providing real cocaine is the best option?
I find it impossible to believe that any kid I may raise would demand to do cocaine, though. To the best of my ability, I would never raise an idiot like that. :)
Yeaah, it is hard to believe, but maybe it's some foster kid your girlfriend wanted to adopt or adopted before you met her.
If the child was 14, I wouldn't provide any cocaine no matter what. A house arrest, a psychologist and some MRI scans of cocaine brains is what that child would get from me. If the child was at least 16 I might stretch the boundaries if the child was doing well in life in general and had some valid arguments for doing cocaine so early.
Waiting until the kid is demanding cocaine to start with the MRIs is waiting too long, I say. :)
-
Well dss31 - what would you do? Would you do drugs with your future kids? What's your answer to your own poll?
I don't know! :)
I THINK I wouldn't avoid drugs all together just because I have children, but I'd probably not have much time for drugs while running a family. It would be on rare occasions when I have a babysitter or when they are big enough to take care of themselves for a weekend. I don't think my children would like to do drugs together with me and their dad, but if they asked about it when they are 16+ I would consider it. I'd also have a no drug-policy that's not up for discussion until they turn 13. When they are 13 I'd probably lay out the facts and ask them to wait until they are 16 before they start experimenting with drugs, but if they wanted to try once or twice for some special occasion (not every weekend) I'd likely be okay with it. When they are 16 I'd be okay with some lighter drugs, but I wouldn't let them use stronger stuff with my permission until they are 18. Hopefully drug use wouldn't be much of an issue, because I can't imagine they'd like to risk their brain development after I tell them how drugs may effect the brain.
Well good luck Dss3i - I think a lot of your future decisions regarding family will depend on your life experiences in the meantime. If you have a horrible drug experience in the near future it will most definitely affect how you feel your children should approach them. The next time you pass a junkie on the street ask yourself where that persons parents are, did they themselves do drugs, did they talk about it with their kids, if so did it work for the best? The truth is no one has any idea what is the best blanket approach is for all kids. You have to suss out what you think is best for your own child at the time, only you and their dad will know.
The best this thread can do is ask what others have done or are doing. I haven't heard from anyone yet that actually has kids that say they do drugs with their own kids. That should tell you a lot right there. In fact, is there anyone one out there that currently does drugs with their underage children? If so, this is the thread to speak up in.
-
Now say it was cocaine this child was determined to do at 14, would you supervise?
Yep! Even though cocaine is addictive, and it's on my never-fly list. That is, I won't touch it and I would never allow any child I may have to touch it. My ultimate ruling, though... Keep in mind that I would focus a lot of education on addiction and addictive drugs, and why they should be avoided. But ultimately, I can't keep my hypothetical child away from it, right? The most I can do is let them know they're always safe, never arrested, and always loved with me.
If I caught my hypothetical child about to use some cocaine, I would interfere and stop them. But if my coke-addled child told me s/he was on coke and needed some comfort or whatever, I would give that.
But that doesn't really cover just how opposed I am to anything addictive. Addiction steals lives. Any addiction is bad, even a psychological addiction. And in my eyes, addition is like playing russian roulette. You might get away with a few uses and not end up an addict, or you might get it on the first time.
But again, I don't have a kid and my opinions might change if I do ever get one. But I'm also opposed to me having a child. :D
Uhhhmm, hmmm, I don't think you got my question. If the child was determined to do cocaine and would get it from the streets and do it in some deserted house with older friends if you didn't provide it, then would you provide it and let the child do it at home with you, or would you give the child house arrest to prevent it from touching cocaine, or would you let it go do it in that house with those older kids?
Awww, okay, most children aren't planned so you might end up having some one way or another anyway.
Truth be told, I don't know what I'd do. I'm heavily opposed to cocaine for example, but if I have to choose between providing real cocaine or letting my kid get some shady drug dealer's uncertain-product? The harm reduction philosophy is partially about providing the real thing, isn't it? So to reduce harm, providing real cocaine is the best option?
I find it impossible to believe that any kid I may raise would demand to do cocaine, though. To the best of my ability, I would never raise an idiot like that. :)
Yeaah, it is hard to believe, but maybe it's some foster kid your girlfriend wanted to adopt or adopted before you met her.
If the child was 14, I wouldn't provide any cocaine no matter what. A house arrest, a psychologist and some MRI scans of cocaine brains is what that child would get from me. If the child was at least 16 I might stretch the boundaries if the child was doing well in life in general and had some valid arguments for doing cocaine so early.
Waiting until the kid is demanding cocaine to start with the MRIs is waiting too long, I say. :)
Well, we don't know what are kids will be like at all. My parents never tried talking about drugs with me because they never suspected that I was at all interested in drugs and they never noticed me using drugs. Perhaps our children won't ever express any interest in drugs to us. It could also be that they don't want to talk about it because they find it embarrassing - sort of like talking about sex - when I got a boyfriend my dad tried discussing sex with me but I said "I already know everything I need to know", closed the door on him and refused to listen. If that's the case it's not easy to talk about it. Whenever my parents asked me about alcohol I simply replied "I don't want to answer that question" so they weren't able to have any discussions about alcohol with me either. Then of course at 15-16 that changed, but before that I just wasn't open to talk about it.
-
Well dss31 - what would you do? Would you do drugs with your future kids? What's your answer to your own poll?
I don't know! :)
I THINK I wouldn't avoid drugs all together just because I have children, but I'd probably not have much time for drugs while running a family. It would be on rare occasions when I have a babysitter or when they are big enough to take care of themselves for a weekend. I don't think my children would like to do drugs together with me and their dad, but if they asked about it when they are 16+ I would consider it. I'd also have a no drug-policy that's not up for discussion until they turn 13. When they are 13 I'd probably lay out the facts and ask them to wait until they are 16 before they start experimenting with drugs, but if they wanted to try once or twice for some special occasion (not every weekend) I'd likely be okay with it. When they are 16 I'd be okay with some lighter drugs, but I wouldn't let them use stronger stuff with my permission until they are 18. Hopefully drug use wouldn't be much of an issue, because I can't imagine they'd like to risk their brain development after I tell them how drugs may effect the brain.
Yup, reporter!
-
Well dss31 - what would you do? Would you do drugs with your future kids? What's your answer to your own poll?
I don't know! :)
I THINK I wouldn't avoid drugs all together just because I have children, but I'd probably not have much time for drugs while running a family. It would be on rare occasions when I have a babysitter or when they are big enough to take care of themselves for a weekend. I don't think my children would like to do drugs together with me and their dad, but if they asked about it when they are 16+ I would consider it. I'd also have a no drug-policy that's not up for discussion until they turn 13. When they are 13 I'd probably lay out the facts and ask them to wait until they are 16 before they start experimenting with drugs, but if they wanted to try once or twice for some special occasion (not every weekend) I'd likely be okay with it. When they are 16 I'd be okay with some lighter drugs, but I wouldn't let them use stronger stuff with my permission until they are 18. Hopefully drug use wouldn't be much of an issue, because I can't imagine they'd like to risk their brain development after I tell them how drugs may effect the brain.
Yup, reporter!
fuck no
-
Had to stpp growing weed when the little ones became aware of more things.
Also, we do not smoke in front of the children but when they did come of age we did.
You cannot hide drugs from children aged 10,11 and 12.
Also we bought a safe to stash whatever we had in case the kids maybe took some to school to show off and we appear in the news or worse, children might be taken into care. Not for cannabis but other drugs parents should not use or use very little of.
Alcohol is the worse drug for breaking up families.
That is legal.
-
I was just looking at the results of the poll. Twenty four votes total and a tie between using yourself although illegal, hiding it from the children and not letting them use (8) VS using yourself although illegal, telling the children, and letting them use (8). I voted for the latter, and the problem I have with the first alternative is that you're lying to your children if they ask.