Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: jelloplanefly on January 04, 2013, 09:26 am
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I know we are all pretty much regular, normal and well adjusted people around here, but we all have something we hide from other, because its weird or embarrassing, like secret habits, things we do or secret fetishes we might have, or weird stuff we sometimes do on drugs. Everyone has some weird or embarrassing habits, even the most normal, well adjusted guy you can find will have something. So, share you're embarrassing habits or fetishes with everyone, and don't EVER let anyone tell you that you're nor normal and well adjusted Cause you are normal and well adjusted, no matter how sort of weird/embarrasing or twisted and utterly and completely fucked up total and utter horror even thinking about it makes my brain hurt, habit or secret.
Mine is kinda lame and not really that weird, I know you guys all have better ones, but I'm gonna share it anyway to kick the thread off :)
So when I get high on meth I like to buy shoes, they have to me exactly size 8.5, THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT. Anyway I take them home and lovely coat the whole shoe with lube. I carefully heat it in the microwave and after its nice and toasty (BUT I AM ALWAYS CAREFUL TO NEVER BURN THE SHOE....I WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO THE SHOE....I AM NOT A MONSTER) . Then I take the shoe upstairs, light some candles, put some barry on the cd player then i gently and carefully place the shoe on the bed and the I FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF THE SHOE FOR HOURS TIL MY DICK BLEEDS. I then return the shoe to walmart for a full refund. They never ask questions but they look at me like im crazy. After getting my money back I stop in the walmart restroom and jack off and take a shit on the floor and I spread it everywhere. cause fuck walmart, they keep selling me slut shoes. Sometimes I have runny diarrhea and its the best cause if I get some power driving it, i can get some distance going the hit the ceilings and up on the wall and shit. anyway then I go home and sleep for 5 days.
So there's my embarrassing secret, I know its not as weird as most peoples but its a little embarrassing to me. I know im still normal, well adjusted and im gonna feel really silly for being embarrassed about my secret when you guys all share you're secrets and they are much weirder than mine.
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... dude. I don't even have the words to describe how shitty (no pun intended) that is to do to the people who get minimum wage for cleaning up after you. I'm a tweaker, and you wouldn't fucking believe some of the kinky things I do sometimes. Nothing like that gets me off, fortunately. And none of them involve anybody having to clean up after me (and/or my partner) except me, either.
If you weren't trolling, I'd smack you for giving people like me a bad name. I did get a pretty good laugh out of it though, so I guess it's all good ::)