I find the way people have such a difficult time understanding addiction to be -- well, difficult to understand, frankly.Quote from: b999 on July 31, 2013, 11:20 amEither that's just discipline or what I don't know, but I don't feel remotely tempted to down a whole point in one go - I just look at that amount and think 'yuck - that's major insomnia and fun destroying tolerance right there'.This. This is what will prevent you from becoming addicted. Not all the effort you're putting in to avoiding addiction -- frankly, I'm inclined to think that your preoccupation with the substance is counterproductive in that manner, but that's not something anybody but you can really know -- but in that sentence right there is what will prevent you from *ever* becoming addicted to... well, to anything, frankly.I suppose I didn't understand what addiction really is before I became an addict and was able to study myself as one. I say I'm an addict, but I have never and will never betray someone close to me just for a drug. I say that, but it occurs to me, I have dosed and then lied about taking the drug -- but I consider that a harmless lie, and I don't like doing it, but I have done it. As harmless a betrayal as "no, you don't look fat in that," if you ask me.Maybe that means I'm not an addict by most definitions, I dunno. I'm willing to sacrifice people in my life who choose not to associate with me and various other things just to keep taking my drug. Frankly I think loyalty and my integrity are just a lot more important to me than they are to most people, otherwise I'd probably sacrifice those too :PBut it isn't out of need. That's not what addiction is. It's out of want. I want my drug so much that I pay a terrible price for it and choose to keep paying it, and that's all addiction really is: it's all psychological in the end. Physical dependence is trivial, unless you've been on a drug for so long your body will fail if you get cut off abruptly... but even then, wean off and you're fine. It's the psychological desire that's the problem, and that's *all* in the way you think. All the bullshit about "this drug is addictive" and "this drug isn't addictive" or "this one's more addictive than that," is such complete and utter bullshit. You can't define addiction in terms of anything other than individuals, and for an individual their experience of a substance is wildly varied.It almost doesn't matter how dependent on a substance your body gets. Sure, it'll make you crave it even more -- I smoked for many years, I know all about that -- but that goes away in a few days basically. The thoughts you have about the drug, the things you feel associated with the drug, the psychological desire you have for it... that's what addiction is. In the end that's why some people get addicted and others don't. Haven't you ever had sex when you really didn't have time and should have done something else, and kinda sorta regretted it after ward (you know, when you didn't even want to fuck anymore)...? Well there you go, that's exactly why addicts keep taking their drugs.The way we think about experiences and the memories we have of them shape our expectation of the same experiences in the future. Our expectations and desires for certain outcomes shape our intentions. Our intentions shape our actions. So ultimately our actions are based almost entirely on our desires and our internal perspective (even though ultimately all psychology is almost certainly nothing more than biology, you get my meaning).If the way you think about it never changes, you will never be an addict. Nor will anyone else who sees taking more of it as unpleasant, or who doesn't want it enough to trade other things in their life for it. Why do you think I keep taking it? It's because it enhances my life. Usually. It's because even having to pay the price that I pay, I still would rather live the life I have with it than live the life I could have without it. It's the same reason as you, just on a different scale. The price I pay is much higher. I like it a lot more and am willing to pay a much higher price (financially, biologically -- I mean everything I suffer because of my drug use by "price" BTW). The only thing that scares me is that you can never be sure just how high the price you have to pay is... I estimate it isn't higher than is worthwhile in my eyes. I may be wrong though. Who knows, my liver could fail next month. I'm also counting on never getting caught with a (what is to a normal person) huge fucking bag of crystal methamphetamine and ending up sentenced for it.Pardon me if you consider this insulting, but in the end, that's about the only difference between us: I want it a lot more than you do. The risk I take because of my amounts is higher, but you're at the same risk. They don't look kindly on meth, certainly not in America. Different values for each of us, but it's the same equation, which is basically:Code: [Select]worth_taking = { no: pleasure_using < pleasure_not_using        yes: pleasure_using > pleasure_not_using }pleasure_using = pleasure - pricepleasure = enjoyment_for_person_Aprice = price_for_person_Aprice_for_person_A = {only A knows}enjoyment_for_person_A = {only A knows}People tend to see addiction as drug use even when "worth_taking" should be no. But they're basing that on themselves and their own expectations. They're wrong. The only reason addiction is hard to understand is that it's difficult for people to imagine wanting a drug enough to sacrifice other things for it, but you do that already: you sacrificed the money you paid for it. You sacrificed the 30 minutes of sleep you lost the other night because of it. You sacrificed the time you've spent investigating it. So on and so on. A drug addict does the same thing, just on a much more costly scale.Maybe that helps you understand addiction, I dunno. It kind of turned into a fucking essay or something, which I didn't intend... and I'm not saying people shouldn't be held accountable. Obviously they should. It's simply their reason for their actions that I'm commenting on. Regardless, apparently I needed a little more symbolic manipulation in my day :P