250mg would be one fucking massive dose for me, but I've heard of people blowing through that in a night or less... so I don't know. Obviously without a tolerance though, that's not really important. When doses as small as 5-10mg increments are active, you basically took 25-50 doses. Damn, son :oSo why were you on an antipsychotic in the first place? Frankly I strongly suspect that's the reason for your lasting impairment. It seems much more likely to me than long-term MDPV damage. But I have heard of that... never known anybody who went that hard on it or anything though, so I don't even know if that's just myth (and let's be honest, with the stims there's a fucking lot of those, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's bullshit ya know).If it's any kind of option, try getting back on your med. You don't even have to mention the MDPV. Just say that you've had some severe adverse reactions to discontinuing the medication -- hopefully whoever was providing it just doesn't realize what they've done by taking you off of it, and will put you back on it once they're aware of your troubles. If that doesn't help or isn't possible... I dunno man, but I'll say this: emotional pain isn't the only thing that time heals. The human brain is unbelievable. It can recover from damn near anything with enough time and a little effort.I don't see how you could have fucked yourself up for life with this one incident. Be optimistic, man -- even beyond being more pleasant, it really does help good things happen when you expect good things to happen :)