Quote from: Razorspyne on December 29, 2012, 11:58 pmSound a little like typtap, SS, from some posts. You both seem really motivated at times and then something happens (Im just guessing here, I might be wrong) to break that momentum, and it seems psychological and not other factors. Youre ready to take over the world and all of a sudden  boom! there it is.It's called amphetamine. I make no excuses and I tell no lies. I am an addict through and through. Catch me on the first two days and I'm talented, motivated, and the world better fucking watch out because I plan to own it one of these days soon. And I actually make some progress toward that end, too.By the third day I'm lucky if I'm still working and not just fucking around on the forums here or something. And then I eventually lay my tired self down into a soft, cozy bed with a nice warm meal and turn something mindless on and just sit there and marvel at the totality of infinity stretched out before me in my exhausted, spun state. And then I sleep.And do it again. And I hope to never be unable to.At least I don't actually try to kill myself anymore. I also get a Hell of a lot more done now, so there's that too. Everything I've come to love I need to be tweaked for. Pretty much just about everything. Without an amphetamine... I don't even care about truth so much anymore, even.That last sentence is about as close to sacrilege as my atheistic principles can get, by the way :PFor balance, I'm caused no end of problems for my lifestyle either. I do not recommend it. But I do believe it was and still is the life I want.