The only drug I love are amphetamines; I think everybody else has exceedingly poor taste in drugs, but that's just me, heh... I only say this maybe once every two years, but I really mean it: stay away from meth and amphetamines in general (not MDMA, I just mean meth/adderall/dexedrine/etc). You may not care for them and won't want to keep using, but that's pretty rare. I know I sound all fatherly and shit, but I'm serious. If they click with you, you will not be depressed *at all* on meth for at least a week or two after you start using it, but you'll probably never ever let go of it. If you're willing to dive head-first into that pit... I don't see how anyone could be truly depressed when they first start taking amphetamines. That goes away pretty quickly though and you end up using them for all the other great things you get, but you don't get that perfect contentment ever again really. I think you should still have the choice of being a junkie if you want to though, so there ya go.You actually sound as though you may want to abuse so heavily you end up dead, which is about as damaging as it's gonna get. If that's how you're feeling... you shouldn't be doing any drugs unless you're prepared for them a) to not end up killing you, and b) just fucking things up even more when the money's gone.An old friend of mine used to say he thought PCP was the best antidepressant there is. I never saw his point, but it was sure as Hell fun and I don't hear about many people losing their lives over PCP. shrug. It can cause permanent schizophrenia with chronic use though, I've read.