Guys Im an mdma virgin in my 30's. Ive always avoided any stims or hallucinogens due to me suffering from an anxiety disorder since I was 13. I didnt actually know that I was suffering from general anxiety/panic disorder until my late 20's when diagnosed by a psych, growing up I was always told by those close to me that I was just a worrier and it kinda became normal for me. These days using cognitive behaviour therapy, meditation and breathing techniques I manage ok.
Since my late teens I was always drawn to codeine and benzos. These were just the drugs I liked, well thats what I thought at the time. Obviously I was self medicating for my anxiety and still do a few times a month. My partner who is the love of my life, enjoys some mdma on a special occasion and my birthday is coming up. She has spoken to me a few times about us doing the drug together and has alluded to how it bought her and her ex closer together mentally and physically.
These days if Im anxious or feel a panic attack coming on I can use the techniques Ive been shown and talk myself down. Im curious about mdma and the idea of us doing it together is really tempting. I guess my question is if there is a risk of having an lsd style 'bad trip' given Im predisposed to anxiety?
Or if Im in a good headspace and a safe place when we take it together would that make it more likely to be a positive experience? Ive never heard of any of my mates reporting on a night from hell on the Gary Abletts but they dont suffer from an anxiety condition...
I figure If we do it I will buy some domestic crystal off the road and cap it up. At least then Im positive Im not getting a speedy pill with ketamine and god knows what, which will help my mindset. Ive purchased a reagent testing kit too so I can test the crystal. Ive looked up harm reduction and dosage advice but would love to hear what you guys suggest for a first timer taking crystal most likely imported from the UK or Germany.
Cheers for reading : )
What makes you anxious? is it recollections of a previous event(s) or do you find generally normal situations can make you anxious?
MDMA has excellent therapeutic value for helping people come to terms with traumatic events in a way that allows them to confront then disassociate the feelings of anxiety and fear attached to the memory, this should of course be facilitated under controlled conditions by a trained professional such as a highly skilled counselor or clinical psychologist.
As a general rule though if you suffer with some mental health issues it is best to abstain from all drugs that mess with your brain chemistry and seek lifestyle enhancements that will improve your cognitive functioning.
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