Hello everyone! Please skip the update if you want to get to the most honest and truthful vendor ever!! Pretty funny Just an update: I have been here 2 weeks and what a ride it has been!! I am telling you that being a vendor and selling Rx when you are a new vendor is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT and almost impossible to get going! I was lied about, blackmailed(failed), sent dozens of messages saying "I need them" (I didn't), Told that I was about 12 different vendors before I was here(I am not), and all of that was before I ever sold 1 product!! I understand 100% all of your concerns. But please look at it from my point of view. All I was/am trying to do is sell pills. Then all I was/am trying to do is get them to my buyers as soon as I can. I believe I did. In order to get business I had to market myself. The best way I found was to be loud and attack anyone that lied about me. In this forum if you do not address the lies right away, someone will just see the liars thread and stay away. I couldn't let that be. So what I did was attack. Don't get me wrong....I think I did it in a funny way(as many of you did) but I also knew that talking in 3rd person and saying KING this and KING that was going to ruffle some feathers. THAT WAS THE POINT!!! It was just marketing people. Nothing more. It made people want to check out RxKing and see what I was all about and what I had for sale. I didn't want to be tarnished and labeled as a bad vendor right out of the gate....trust me it's hard enough. I also knew that everyone that dealt with me as a buyer would see the "REAL KING". That is someone that treats YOU like the king. That's how it really is with me. And that is..... someone that cares you get what you ordered. Cares that you are happy with what you ordered. Cares that you get it fast. I believe all my customers will say I have done all this. They will also say I have been nothing but professional. I answer every message. I send updates but will not send DCN #s (for my protection). I sent free bonus pills to my actual buyers that took a chance with a new vendor. (I did not send one free sample to the beggers that rapidly and constantly clogged up my messages who were trolling around for freebies...get btc and purchase products like everyone else). I send thank you's. This is how I will always do business. When it comes time for me to leave SR someday far down the line. I will bow out gracefully. I will not burn anyone. I will not lie and say I have something, get you to FE, then run. Not my style.PERIOD! I will make plenty of money selling on here that there is no need to scam or screw anyone over EVER. I am practically swimming in Bitcoins as it is. Speaking of swimming...I do like to travel and go on vacation. Don't freak when I do. I will just need a mini break from SR once in a while since I run it like a business with high standards.  I will no longer be addressing anyone's post in here about me being a scammer ect. No need. The truth is I now do not care. Your one voice can not be as loud as the 70+ paying customers I have had praising me. I simply don't care what is said in here any more. If you are a customer just message me. I will return messages as fast as I can. I don't care what 1 person has to say about me in these forums. I only care about my customers and what they have to say! So I want to say a BIG thank you to all my customers so far! Let it also be known the KING is not perfect. I am human and make mistakes. I never realized how difficult it would be as a new vendor to get started. Learning the ropes of SR, BTC, Privnote, PGP etc was just the beginning. The amount of time it takes counting product, stealth packing, traveling to various post offices, returning tons of messages because everyone is skeptical of a new vendor, product questions etc. The number of packages that I mailed in the last two weeks was incredible. I am exhausted but it is all worth it. The bright side is that it will only get easier from here now that I am an established vendor with happy buyers and great feedback. I will say that I have an organized system in place so I will be ready when I am flooded with new orders as soon as I get my next big supply of Rx. My shipping supplies are stocked up and the King is ready to rock and roll. I do have lots of Opana 40mg for sale right now if that is something that you are interested in. Hiccups along the way: #1 I sent 2 orders to different people because I mixed up the address labels. Luckily, BOTH were super cool and it was quickly fixed. #2 I had a brand new member order from me. I tell him his package is being sent. Only to find out I somehow misplaced his order form and I never even packaged it! When I was made aware of the mistake I was already sold out of what he ordered. The terrible part was that he had only dealt with 3 vendors up to that point and another one did the same thing! So he was refunded and taken care of. I believe he is VERY happy. ; ) His order has been filled and shipped now. I only had 1 guy complain he did not receive his order. When in fact I have proof I sent it via EXPRESS MAIL. Now, I have no idea why this guy is being a jerk. But since day 1 he has been a pain. He tried to cancel his order after he knew that it had already been Express Mailed to him. Who does that?!!?! This is not Nordstrom's this is SR. We are talking about drugs that can't be returned if you have buyers remorse. He has decided to take this to the mods. We will see what happens. I am sorry that this went there. But in all honesty this guy just seems like a total jerk and I will not hold this guy against the entire community. I will not be bullied. I will not be lied too. If you do those 2 things. I will be through with you. PERIOD. I don't want the pain or headache from difficult buyers. I do love easy transactions and repeat customers so please "use" your drugs responsibly. If there is a problem I will try to do what is right to fix it. I pride myself on customer service. I have found that in my first 14 days that the road is full of great people. I know that what are looking for is the RX you need and for someone(me) to get it to you fast and at a good price. I have sold over 1500 pills the first 10+ days. I will have A LOT more this next time around. I will continue my awesome service and low prices. I know I can't battle the haters. So I will not try. Hate away! I have enough customers to go stealth. I don't need the bullshit. I just have not decided to go that route yet. But I have a feeling it will be soon. And don't worry all that have ordered will be on that list....(KING APPROVED : ) YOU have been awesome. It was a pleasure doing business!!!! Thank you again to everyone(99%) that have been so great. The road has been awesome! END UPDATE!!! **************************************************************************************** Now back to what the title of this post is all about: I have always tried to bring you humor. And only being 100% honest about the funny things I say(meaning I am not a comedy writer, I just found things that ACTUALLY happened and wrote about them. Yes prky is dead  Some of you may have not found what I have said funny. But I promise you will not only find this guy funny it is also refreshing how truthful he is. Go to his vendor page. It is worth it.  This guy is MY FAVORITE 100% HONEST VENDOR ON SR. Now I don't know if I would be that big a fan if I was ordering from him. Then again.... he says what is going to happen!! So maybe I would. Just so you know... I have no affiliation with this guy. I am just a fan. A HUGE FAN!!!!! I will give you the link so you can go yourself. And I will post what he says. This guy is awesome!! Here it is .....enjoy! Link---------------   https://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion.lu/silkroad/user/a320190a0f Here is what it says for those of you too lazy. But PLEASE go. It is AWESOME!!! And it reads way better!! While I am one of the slowest vendors you will ever deal with when it comes to "processing time". They call me Etilaam Tortuga for a reason. Almost all my orders will be "late" for hours to days before I will have a chance to ship your products. Everything listed here is currently in stock, but when you order from me there are usually a dozen or sometimes a few dozen people already in queue waiting to get processed. Oh, and I don't necessarily do orders in a First In, First Out order. I tend to ship out tablets & scales & injection supplies immediately because they're so much easier to package and ship than my chemical products. I tend to skip over the $5 to $15 orders for days to weeks at a time and then do all of them at once when I can no longer procrastinate them easily. Your products will arrive between 3 and 20 days after you place an order. Paying for Priority shipping means it is sent Priority postage rate via USPS, not that I will prioritize the packaging of your order necessarily. I do not, will not and cannot provide any delivery estimates, but I can guarantee it will arrive safely if you have less than a 5% refund rate for buyer stats (anything higher and your address could be red flagged) because my success rate on both incoming and outgoing mail is over 99.9% from thousands of letters/packages over a period of over two years. Using a fake name or an unusual name when sending or receiving mail, will flag the item as suspicious to your postal workers and postal inspectors! If you don't try to make your Silk Road mail blend in with other mail, you're more likely to end up with problems. When ordering from me, you must use the USUAL full name that you receive mail to. You assume no lesser or greater legal liability for having a letter sent to your name vs. someone else's name if you reside at that address and a search warrant conducted at the property would lead to them finding things you don't want found. Please also provide the entire 9 digit ZIP+4 code, which you can look up at www.usps.com/zip4 Thank you! April 4th, 2012 ---------------- I'm falling behind on orders a bit still but my injury is feeling better and I have some people taking mail to the dropoff cities so I should catch up over the next 3 days. If you order now, there are over 50 orders put in ahead of you coming first. April 2nd, 2012 ---------------- 2C-T-4 introduced; it's on sale, get it while it's cheap. It's worth well over $100/gram or $150/gram elsewhere when you can even find this rare chemical. March 31st, 2012 ---------------- Injured - backed up - orders still trickling out thanks to amphetamine TRICKLING OUT ORDERS THANKS TO AMPHETAMINE....ROTFL