Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: DigitalDream on October 01, 2012, 02:28 pm
-
I'm in my 30's, have 2 university degree's yet have never had a single friend in my entire life, no one will speak to me, those that have immediately leave.
I feel absolutely worthless as i'm in my 30's and no woman has EVER flirted with me, shown any sign of interest in me, and when I put forth the effort i've been shot down EVERY SINGLE TIME (at least 100 attempts in my lifetime).
I've 'attempted' suicide twice this year and not a single person noticed, cared, some laughed. I've been through 8 years of therapy ... which does not fix being worthless. I'm currently sleeping pretty much all day every day so I don't actually commit suicide because it's VERY easy to do (I don't know how people 'attempt' it other then to try and get some validation that someone is aware of you and gives even the slightest ioda of a shit, which didn't happen to me).
I'm now ready to give up on this sleeping all the time and just commit suicide, I mean who in their lives has never had a friend and NEVER had anyone of the opposite sex show any interest in them even in the slightest? I'm not talking about sex either, i'm talking about relationship's, someone caring for you.
Why am i even asking this forum, not like anyone here cares or has any reason to care. I am not moonbear, just a very suicidal man prepared and ready to end it (PS: i'm not fat, an ordinary looking person and have 2 physical science degree's so i'm not stupid). WHY DOES NOBODY CARE?
-
time to walk the earth, my friend. you are in perfect position for saint-hood.
my advice: walk out your front door right now with the clothes on your back and don't stop until you die. help people along the way.
-
damn bro have you ever thought of getting an escort on the flip side just take some drugs to feel good shit i'll be your friend if you send me some coins
-
:( I'm sorry to hear this.
-
I'm young and connected; smart: not a slave. Willing to travel.
I may choose to come into money in a few weeks, but no doubt it will be stolen. I'd only lose my parent's bullshit tho.
I need a big Homie, one who can look past bullshit & bias, and see I'm just trying to come the fuck up: I have a large customer/consumer network and don't mind doing whatever the fuck I want till I leave this satanic country (Amerca)
I know how to move drugs with no chance of losing profit; I'd deal direct; tho I can't be everywhere at once; so I'd have the sexiest college girls help me deal. If me and you teamed up; we would bank and be free; fuck hierarchy; we could travel anywhere; do anything; fuck anything; girls will give you play with a hard on for hard ons.
your past sense of worthlessness: u got nothing to lose but that pit in your stomach; trust me; and it's to the moon; where dissociation is but by choice.
Sincerely,
Your alive till your dead;
don't miss out on this.
-
damn bro have you ever thought of getting an escort on the flip side just take some drugs to feel good shit i'll be your friend if you send me some coins
funny one i guess, hahaha
-
Solitude sure is a terrible thing.
I wouldn't bother worrying about girls first, I'd try getting at least one friend, then maybe two....Once you have friends, you'll feel a whole lot better and then chances are that girls start paying attention to you.
IDk man, start some hobbies, go to a book club, dance / sports courses, anything. Not doing those will reduce your chances of meeting someone to zero.
Have faith.
-
time to walk the earth, my friend. you are in perfect position for saint-hood.
my advice: walk out your front door right now with the clothes on your back and don't stop until you die. help people along the way.
This sounds like proper advice. You are not feeling fulfilled with your current situation, yet you have accomplished quite a lot already, a total escape from your normal every day life could be the best thing you can do for yourself. Go to a strange country or somewhere you have wanted to see for some time and live there for a few months, pick up odd jobs and find what makes you happy. Even if its digging ditches, its amazing what a complete 180 can do to change perspective. Life is a journey man and sometimes you really need to shake things up to see how great life can be. Never give up.
-
Hombre:
1) Pussy is overrated.
2) If you decide to kill yourself please but please take few dickheads with you.
3) Read number 1 again.
4) You said you are smart which means you have money. Get some coke and bitches.
5) Buy a Philippine wife they're cheap and they will love you because you take them out from the shithole they live in. (I can hook you up)
-
well i guess if we never hear from him again we know what happened but like i said get an escort so at least you can get laid before you die
-
I've hired an escort before, huge waste of $160, I don't want to just stick my dick in some chick. I want someone to hold, who wants to be held by me, who finds ME attractive and wants to spend their time with me.
I've also lost ALL interest in ANY hobby or activity, I sadly live in pure apathy.
Thank you for all the many replies though, I don't know why I even brought it up though because it's not like anyone is going to fix me with some words, it's something i'd have to want to do myself and as I said I don't have any interest in anything. I also don't know how to communicate socially at all, i have aspergers and you can call that a scapegoat all you want, it realy does mean I have absolutely NO CLUE how/what/why/when to talk to people, how to interpret their response/body language, etc. etc.
Basically all the people i've made attempts to form bonds with shot me down in very very rude and hurtful way's and I don't know why. That's the only reason i'm 'smart', i've never had anything else in my life to do but school .... but now that i'm in my 30's university is a long long distant memory, and highschool and elementary school are just hideous nightmares of constant torment from my peers :(
-
I've hired an escort before, huge waste of $160, I don't want to just stick my dick in some chick. I want someone to hold, who wants to be held by me, who finds ME attractive and wants to spend their time with me.
I've also lost ALL interest in ANY hobby or activity, I sadly live in pure apathy.
Thank you for all the many replies though, I don't know why I even brought it up though because it's not like anyone is going to fix me with some words, it's something i'd have to want to do myself and as I said I don't have any interest in anything. I also don't know how to communicate socially at all, i have aspergers and you can call that a scapegoat all you want, it realy does mean I have absolutely NO CLUE how/what/why/when to talk to people, how to interpret their response/body language, etc. etc.
Basically all the people i've made attempts to form bonds with shot me down in very very rude and hurtful way's and I don't know why. That's the only reason i'm 'smart', i've never had anything else in my life to do but school .... but now that i'm in my 30's university is a long long distant memory, and highschool and elementary school are just hideous nightmares of constant torment from my peers :(
aspies is a difficult thing to learn t manage, but it can be done. I recommend you get help with someone who directly deals with asperger syndrome.
People with aspergers are more often than not also suffering from depression. ou are not alone, and there is people who can help.
-
Well you're not going to get much attention from anyone, opposite or same sex, if you stay in bed all day, that's for sure.
What I would do if I were you is buy a Rough Guide or Lonely Planet to India, then get on a plane with a rucksack, as many hundred dollars as you can get your hands on, and the bare essentials to keep clean. From Paharganj in Delhi you can get on a 15-hour bus up into the Himalayas, where you'll either feel refreshed and invigorated by the beauty of the place, the fresh mountain air, natural hot springs and the friendliness of the people, or not. In which case you can still kill yourself, but at least you'll have made an effort.
Also, October is hash season in the Himalayas.
-
Well you're not going to get much attention from anyone, opposite or same sex, if you stay in bed all day, that's for sure.
What I would do if I were you is buy a Rough Guide or Lonely Planet to India, then get on a plane...
Good advice. GTF Outta here!
Here's my other idea: Hookers! Backpage.com Get you some women and talk to them for 50 minutes (then get yer rocks off too).
Really sleazy titty bars are great for talking to the girls, and pretty soon you'll make friends.
Last idea: Talk to them online try (cleartext) http://www.christianmingle.com for girls who are looking for a decent guy. Then just talk to them till they beg you to meet up.
Don't give up, WTF you only get one shot at death, you get to try a million tries at life!
Modzi
-
Well you're not going to get much attention from anyone, opposite or same sex, if you stay in bed all day, that's for sure.
What I would do if I were you is buy a Rough Guide or Lonely Planet to India, then get on a plane with a rucksack, as many hundred dollars as you can get your hands on, and the bare essentials to keep clean. From Paharganj in Delhi you can get on a 15-hour bus up into the Himalayas, where you'll either feel refreshed and invigorated by the beauty of the place, the fresh mountain air, natural hot springs and the friendliness of the people, or not. In which case you can still kill yourself, but at least you'll have made an effort.
Also, October is hash season in the Himalayas.
this is the best advice.
OP, if you've got nothing to live for, then you are truly free.
-
Why has everyone reccomended losing themselves as opposed to finding themselves?
hit the gym, commit to 6/12 months of cardio & light weights; get those natural feel-good endorphins pumping.
you'l look good & feel better about yourself, will be lifted, naturally.
there is no easy answer, just simple questions.
-
Why has everyone reccomended losing themselves as opposed to finding themselves?
sometimes you must lose yourself to find yourself
-
i agree with everyone saying you should pack your shit and go somewhere. you sound like a person in need of a really good adventure. just be smart and watch your back! youre in the perfect position to start the best part of your life. do things you wouldnt normally do.
-
Damn man, your only solution is MDMA haha :DD
I mean seriously take some 0.3 mdma and then go out to some bar or disco, you will love it and you will find some nice friends ;)
Im only 20 years old and knows half of the city ;D
or you must be trolling us ._.
-
Why has everyone reccomended losing themselves as opposed to finding themselves?
sometimes you must lose yourself to find yourself
and what happens when the mind cannot no longer find the body, or if we travel too far out and can never come back?
self belief is what the OP needs.Not Acid.
-
sometimes you must lose yourself to find yourself
self belief is what the OP needs.Not Acid.
or maybe a really good psychologist
-
sometimes you must lose yourself to find yourself
self belief is what the OP needs.Not Acid.
or maybe a really good psychologist
or a friend, not a pusher.
-
OP ill be your friend....
Cuz you got a friend in me....
You got a friend in me....
When the road looks rough ahead, and you're miles and miles
from your nice warm bed
You just remember what your old pal said
Boy, you've got a friend in me
Yeah, you've got a friend in me
You got a friend in me...
You got a friend in me...
If you've got troubles,I've got 'em too
There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you
We stick together and can see it through
Cause you've got a friend in me
You've got a friend in me
YOUVE GOT A FRIEND IN ME!
-
I'm in my 30's, have 2 university degree's yet have never had a single friend in my entire life, no one will speak to me, those that have immediately leave.
I feel absolutely worthless as i'm in my 30's and no woman has EVER flirted with me, shown any sign of interest in me, and when I put forth the effort i've been shot down EVERY SINGLE TIME (at least 100 attempts in my lifetime).
I've 'attempted' suicide twice this year and not a single person noticed, cared, some laughed. I've been through 8 years of therapy ... which does not fix being worthless. I'm currently sleeping pretty much all day every day so I don't actually commit suicide because it's VERY easy to do (I don't know how people 'attempt' it other then to try and get some validation that someone is aware of you and gives even the slightest ioda of a shit, which didn't happen to me).
I'm now ready to give up on this sleeping all the time and just commit suicide, I mean who in their lives has never had a friend and NEVER had anyone of the opposite sex show any interest in them even in the slightest? I'm not talking about sex either, i'm talking about relationship's, someone caring for you.
Why am i even asking this forum, not like anyone here cares or has any reason to care. I am not moonbear, just a very suicidal man prepared and ready to end it (PS: i'm not fat, an ordinary looking person and have 2 physical science degree's so i'm not stupid). WHY DOES NOBODY CARE?
go gay, seek out a sugardaddy brah ;)
-
seriously dude, the Himalayas idea is perfect, if I had nothing to stay for like you do I'd pack my stuff and go
Why wouldnt you want to do some exciting/crazy shit before you kill yourself?
-
As long as you're not moonbear, there is hope :)
Maybe this won't be much comfort, but what you're experiencing isn't that unusual. Humans need attachment/love or they feel bad. What you're experiencing, paradoxically, is a survival instinct.
Joining a few clubs e.g. gyms, book clubs, sporting assoc, etc will greatly enhance your opportunities to interact with other humans! I know a few people with aspergers who have girlfriends/boyfriends. They have to try harder, but it is certainly more than possible.
I think you're being hard on yourself, there are plenty of people without aspergers who have difficulty forming relationships in their 30s let me assure you! There's lots of lonely people out there who need hugs! You need to find those people and hug them. There should be 'flash mobs' for hugs or something. And taking a small quantity of MDMA is not as dumb an idea as some people think. 80 - 100 mg is enough.
You probably know this already, but it's not a good idea to try too hard in some sense, it scares people if you're too friendly at first, introductions need to happen slowly over time, there is no algorithm for obtaining a relationship apart from hanging around them and being nice to them, and eventually they become your pals/friends/lovers. Spontaneous friendships and love at first sight events essentially are hollywood inventions. Arranged marriage is more realistic about human nature than hollywood's bizarre ideas about romance.