Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: InkIndulgence on August 10, 2012, 04:23 am
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Today at the office was someone's birthday. AGAIN. I went and picked up their cake from the bakery, vanilla with vanilla frosting. AGAIN. We all piled in the conference room and mumbled the Happy Birthday song, clapped, and pretended to laugh at the same crappy jokes about getting older. AGAIN. I swear to god someone has a birthday every goddamn week. Eating cake and ice cream every week for years it's a wonder I'm not 300lbs.
As I was cutting the cake, looking at the room full of morbidly obese, visibly exhausted and saggy-eyed people eagerly staring at the giant sugary loaf like hungry hyenas as the one highlight in their day, I couldn't help but think "God, am I going to be standing here doing this when I'm 30, 40, 50, 60?!" and for some reason it really bothered me.
I mean, if you happen to be "lucky" enough to procure a "normal" 8-5 job, or hell even at fast food jobs or whatever, you spend majority of your waking hours during the week being there, doing something you probably barely like, maybe you get paid well, maybe you don't. And there is no end in sight. If you have a kid, then you get a few months off and then have to put them in daycare or something and go back.
It just worries me because I'm only in my mid-20s and already feeling this way of the working world, I am one of the youngest people at my workplace. I swear my day life is exactly like the movie Office Space. Probably why I do drugs. I just wish there was some other way, and I guess there are plenty of people out there who have their own business or some crazy cool job like traveling the world, or are super lucky and somehow are rich enough to not have to work, but for the majority of us, that will not happen. If I want a nice house, nice things, etc this is how it has to be.
Does this bother anyone else? How do you deal with it? Do you ever wake up at 7am like usual and for some reason the very last thing you want to do is go to work? Or am I just messed up or naive.
It's not that I'm completely miserable, I do like my job for the most part, but some days like today I just get in this depressive funk where I look at the big picture and get uncomfortable with it... and when I graduate college soon I'll still be doing this, maybe somewhere else one day for more money but the same picture.
Anyway sorry to bring down the mood on here but I have to put on the happy mask all day everyday to my real life people, I like being able to come on here and just say how I feel.
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I couldn't help but think "God, am I going to be standing here doing this when I'm 30, 40, 50, 60?!" and for some reason it really bothered me.
While I was reading your post, this was what stood out to me most. Let me start off by saying that the idea that I might need to distinguish between my calling, or the purpose to which I decided to devote my life (based on the assumption that it should be meaningful, and not on the nihilistic assumption of some people that there is no meaning to anything and thus no reason to care), and my occupation was instilled in me when I was very little. My parents raised me to believe that if you were lucky enough to have the ability to pursue your calling through your job, then it would be nearly effortless to ensure that you could look back on your life in your last days and be proud, knowing that you had fulfilled the purpose to which you devoted your efforts. If, however, circumstance and fate conspire in such a way that it is not possible to pursue your calling through your occupation, it is not a reason to despair. Instead, you should realize that your job enables you to have the means to pursue your purpose, and by the age that we enter into our careers, assuming we intend to have a steady one throughout our lives, we should have determined our purpose, and that this would make it all the more easy to remember what real importance and utility your job should hold in the grand scheme of things. If you are lucky enough to be in the career which you intend to enter, this is one way you could look at things, and with this knowledge in hand, even if you should be there throughout all your years, you would have no reason to feel a moment's regret. This is not always easy to remember. I find myself forgetting, sometimes, especially when I contrast my own situation to those whose luck was greater than mine, through no failure of my own (for, if by your own shortcomings, you should land in a bad spot, you should feel regret and correct it!).
I think that focus and realization of the difference between our job and our calling is something a lot of people our age don't have. (I am also in my mid-20s.) Both of my parents have professions which enable them to fulfill their purpose. I inherited the same idea about what my purpose in life should be, and the notion that I should be able to look back on my life and be proud if I had used my talents and abilities to do everything I could to help those who were not born with my particular set of advantages achieve their purpose, or, in the event that some tyrannical power rendered me unable to accomplish that, at least I lived my life in such a way as to be certain that the fruits of my labors benefited tyranny, which by doing so would harm others, to the least extent I could manage, in order to minimize the resources that a tyrannical government might call upon to oppress people. My parents will not retire until they are too feeble to carry on with their practice safely. I don't think I'll ever retire either. The times when I have used drugs the most have been those when I was either unemployed or not in school. Idleness is not something I want to endure, because I do not (at least for now) possess enough self-control to be certain I won't eventually become dependent on drugs to while away the time... a trap that I have all too easily fallen into before, and one in which I would be certain not to have achieved any worthy purpose in any of my pursuits.
I hope this perspective on your job, which you say that you don't mind (and how lucky you are!), helps perhaps to ease your concern that staying where you are now could, in the end, be a terrible mistake. Ultimately, the worthiness of your life depends far more on your own decisions than the circumstances of your job, and that as long as you are satisfied you have lived a worthy life, however you define it for yourself, you will have no cause for regret.
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I absolutely feel you here. I'm around your age too and the idea of selling my life away to some company is not an option for me.
Fortunately I live in a US state where possessing even rather large quantities of weed is essentially a slap on the wrist if you have no priors, so I choose to move Os to some friends and it's an extremely easy way to make a comfortable living. I've sold drugs off and on for 3-4 years now, with the occasional stint at a real job, and honestly right now I can never imagine going back to an office. I'd rather kill myself!
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Wow imperator thank you so much for that response, I absolutely loved it. Read it like 3 times. And I think, the subject of "purpose" is really what is at issue here. I like the area of work I am in, I just want to use it to do meaningful things that really make an impact in some positive way! Instead of mindlessly running statistical reports on mundane data, I want my daily tasks to improve others' lives. I think once I am done with school I will have more opportunity to do that. I guess this is just an example of the human complex of not wanting to be invisible to the world.
Thanks for making me feel better :)
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I'm glad that I could make you feel better! I took Adderall way too late, and having to get ready for work in a couple hours, I was kinda bummed that I'd have to take more to stay awake... but knowing that sharing something that has been so important to me in my life has been of some help to you makes me feel so much better too! Also, reading yours and kalos' responses, knowing we are all of a similar age and possessed of enough reason to reflect on our own lives, makes me smile. I have only a couple friends my own age because most people in my generation around here lack any interest in anything intellectual (not to mention self-confidence based on anything substantial like personal achievement), are incapable of thinking ahead farther than this weekend, and don't like to let loose once in a while because the funnest things are illegal, it's just bleh... so sometimes it's hard to want to help anyone! Oh, but now I'm bringing the mood down, when I just helped to improve it, so I'll go back to lurking the forums. :D
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It's posts like these that make me glad I'm an international drug smuggler. Today's wages for young people, even ones with advanced degrees are beyond crap. I see new grads paying to work internships because the cost of living is higher than their stipends, even when they live with their parents or half a dozen+ to a house. Then when they obtain a real salary it's 5 times lower than it was 20 years ago in real terms (i.e. w/o inflation), taxed to the hilt and then some. My taxi driver and waiter have decent STEM degrees these days and a 50-100k of student debt and a sob story to tell, it's completely ridiculous. It's somewhat hilarious that they imagine somebody like myself is taking burdensome risks when the opportunity cost of 'normality' has wrecked their prospects. Mind you, all our competition is of the 'Topix' variety, so I can see how you'd get that impression.
But seriously, young people today aren't thinking about ROI, return on investment. They seem to think it's alright to be in debt until your late 30s or more before they get back into the black. Then they take on mortgages because everybody else is doing it. That's not OK, that's shit. Do the math. You guys should be rioting or something by now, I don't know what is wrong with this generation, I genuinely am surprised they aren't far more angry. I mean are you getting a raw deal or not? If so, maybe you need to plan something new. I don't know what, that's hardly my business, but there's no point in sitting around moping about things if you're not going to do something about it. Make a business plan or something, take some control over your life in some way.
Example: If you work hard and invest consistently for long periods of time while you're younger, then you can accumulate wealth much faster than your peers. You'll know you're successful when your yearly dividends are higher than your annual salary. Your pals may have nice cars or houses, but they'll also be in debt up to their eyeballs. Don't go down that road, it's well trodden, and an infinitely sterile and anxiety filled way to live life.
If you want to escape the rat race, you have to think laterally and take calculated risks, whether you are in the black market or regular market that is the case. You cannot follow the herd, they thought investing in real estate in 2007 was a hot idea. Fuck those people, don't take advice from anybody who isn't already ahead of you in some area. Do your research, make a plan, like you were making a report for your boss, but for yourself.
Finally, a lot of young people look down on jobs like working a shop floor, pizza delivery, cleaning etc. Those jobs may not pay top dollar, but they aren't going to get outsourced to china now are they? Contrariwise, most classical middle class jobs like engineering, legal, payroll, is experiencing just that thanks to the combined effects of globalization and new technology. Looks like the plumber makes more money than my dentist or lawyer when you factor in their opportunity costs and supply/demand of labor. Work hard at whatever you do, obtain capital (you're still in the West, it's still much easier here than elsewhere), and then do something with it that puts you in control. Ownership of capital and income from said capital is the key thing to obtaining independence.
tldr; Your parents had no idea what the fuck they are talking about. Traditional concepts like working for two or three corporations in your life time, even obtaining a mortgage, are flying out the window, it's just going to take some time for everybody to cotton on. What has happened is that supply and demand has dramatically changed, but not everybody gets it yet, least of all the educational establishments or your average 30/40 something. They think it's going to change "after the recession". No, it ain't. Wages are going to be like this from here on out. This implies either a massive deflation in house prices or you guys will be renting for the rest of your lives. Since your parents were dumbassed enough to put all their savings into real estate capital accumulation strategies and are now hanging on like frightened rabbits, it's probably the second for a while at least. I mean seriously, do the actual math for your average 20 something, that's what it is for most of them.
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I am in the same boat. wife and I out of college a year or two and have been working shit jobs. the plan is to sell enough drugs to afford a nice couple acres in a primo mountain spot and build a earth ship. Will take some friends but should eventually be a small commune with not many reasons to leave other than concerts and seeing friends. Self sustainablity is the key in my opinion!
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LOL fuck working for the rest of my life, I ain't no fucking slave even if I am my own boss. I intend to retire within the next 3-5 years.
Screw you guys.....I'm gunna be able to sit around my home..... ;D
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LOL fuck working for the rest of my life, I ain't no fucking slave even if I am my own boss. I intend to retire within the next 3-5 years.
Screw you guys.....I'm gunna be able to sit around my home..... ;D
I feel ya, but the saying "the best laid plans of mice and men" comes to mind. Obviously I hope it works out that way for you, but just in case I hope you have a back up plan too.
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There's a lot about your post to feel positive about.
First, is the fact that you feel restless. It's the restlessness that drives people forward. It when you don't have that sense that 'I'm better than this' that you need to start worrying.
Second. You are in your mid twenties. A perfect time to realign your career / life plan. You have ample time to make the necessary adjustments to your life.
Third. You are considering changing your life at a time of deep world recession. Which, on the face of it, sounds miserable, but actually, opportunities will abound once the recession is over. History tells us that recession is followed by periods of rapid growth and business opportunity.
Furthermore, since you are posting on SR forums, I assume that you take drugs. So, even if you don't achieve your perfect life you can lose yourself in a drug fueled stupor. He he.
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I used to feel the same way. Then I dropped acid, dropped out of college and started making music.
Life's good now. Just follow your heart.
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LOL fuck working for the rest of my life, I ain't no fucking slave even if I am my own boss. I intend to retire within the next 3-5 years.
Screw you guys.....I'm gunna be able to sit around my home..... ;D
I feel ya, but the saying "the best laid plans of mice and men" comes to mind. Obviously I hope it works out that way for you, but just in case I hope you have a back up plan too.
Yeah it's a pretty solid one too - Get rich or die trying 8)
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God it's so nice to hear that I am not the only one that has felt like this. And Pine, you said what I was thinking in the back of my mind the whole time, to quit whining about how I feel and do something. However change takes time and resources, and I am impatient, thus comes the moping. I mean there are millions of starving aids ridden kids in Africa, do they get to complain about not liking their job? No!
On a lighter note I just received an order, so now I am in considerably more positive mood since it's Friday and I can go to the Moon until Monday :)
I really don't know how people have normal lives without taking drugs. I drive myself fucking insane if I stay sober for too long, I just can't stand being in my own head sometimes.
I think if I had friends that I had more in common with it would help too. I guess some people are so rad they don't need friends and can be happy by themselves all the time, not me. I have friends, but most of them are coworkers or friends of coworkers, and know absolutely nothing about my "alternate lifestyle". We go out to eat and shop and stuff, but I could never invite them over without "cleaning house" first, could never talk to them about drugs, could never tell them that I hate church. I'm guessing for higher up people in the drug life like smugglers, etc this condition is far moreso for them.
So, thanks again. It has just been an extremely stressful week, and TGIF. I'll reset this weekend and hopefully be all springy and happy go lucky again next week. But some serious reformation of what I really want out of life is in order, I feel lucky that I can still do this now before I settle down and have kids or something permanent.
Why can't I just lay in a big king sized waterbed all day petting cute fluffy kittens and watching cartoons?! Love you guys!
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It bothers me everyday of my life
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I've been with my company for just over 10 years now and can honestly say that unless it goes under or the world ends soon, I'll be there until I retire. It almost feels like a second home. I don't dread going to work, the pay is ok, I get to mostly work by myself in my own room listening to my own music. Coworkers are all pleasant, both my supervisors are family men and genuinely nice people, there's little to no drama. I think I'm lucky in that I like my job.
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For my brother, working improves his critical thinking and analytical skills. Work has improved his IQ and EQ adequately whenever he perseveres the hardship, though things get pretty shitty at times. Also, he would have the money to experiment drugs and travel the world. Without being employed he wouldn't be sitting here buying dope with BTC.
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yes it does. im so stuck. i owe 10g in court fines and work minimum wage at mcdonalds. so everything that i dont pay to court goes to rent.