Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Baby Rapist on August 10, 2013, 07:17 am
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I was pounding this girl in the butt and I saw poop and it just made me go faster.
I'd buy one of Winona Ryder's turds and put it in a little box. I'm sure it would be dainty and come out of the anus wrapped in a frilly bow like a bar of soap.
I'm just saying. It takes some skill to secretly take a shit on a date, or to poop at work while things are in ovens, or to poop without toilet paper. Sometimes when you work construction there is no bathroom, so you take a bucket and a bag, and take a big shit in it and tie it off and chuck it in a dumpster, then go right back to using your new ass bucket.
I've pooped into a Gatorade bottle before. It was pretty difficult but had to be done.
Big brother is watching you poop.
And this one time, we had a president who shoved a cigar up a JEW! LULZ
Incase y'all forgit it.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman!
I did.
so.. was she any good ?
Score out of 10 ?
Would you repeat ?
Happened in Canada at a horror/comic convention
6/10
Was on period
Got poop dick
Would not repeat/bang
Receiving poop in the mail is the ultimate dishonor in my opinion.
I eat nothing but Ramen noodles and poop at gas stations to save on toilet paper. I also ride a bike, shoplift, and pickpocket people. My pickpocket level is only a 60 so I get caught sometimes. I need to level up so I can get some new perks. Then I'll really save some money.
Why the hell didn't I think of this? I'll mail shit to people. I HAVE MAILED SHIT TO PEOPLE... YOU BASTARDS STOLE MY IDEA!!!
http://www.thefrisky.com/2013-05-07/fyi-if-theres-someone-you-hate-you-can-send-them-an-anonymous-package-of-poop/
I feel that it’s my doodie to let you know about some of the crappy services that you might not have known existed on the internet. I hope you enjoyed all the puns in that sentence, because they were meant to foreshadow what I am about to share: you can purchase poop online.
For about $30, depending on the what kind of excrement you choose, ShitSenders.com will anonymously deliver your choice of cow, gorilla or elephant shit to the stupid ex, evil boss, annoying neighbor or asshole frenemy of your choosing. The site’s tagline says it well: “Has some one really pissed you off? Don’t get mad, GET EVEN. Send that special some one a big stinky pile of shit.”
Anonymous of Harrisburg, PA writes:
“Greatest gag gift ever. I sent one to my jackass brother in law and the whole family found out about it and they are all teasing him. He dosen’t know who it came from. He’s so pissed off it’s great. It makes for charming Sunday dinner conversation.”
This is more or less the modern version of prank calling, tee-peeing or leaving a flaming bag of poop on your enemies’ doorstep — all of which were very popular methods of revenge in the ’80s. I never was bold enough to do the flaming poop bag thing, but after I saw “Can’t Buy Me Love,” I always dreamed of doing it. I did more of the prank calling and tee-peeing than I care to admit. But I imagine anything involving poop would have been more satisfying. Now revenge is all Facebook stalking and Twitter wars and naked photo leaking. Let’s get back to revenge basics with POOP! Hmmm. I can think of a few people who deserve to get a shit package from me.
[The Daily Dot]
[Shit Senders]
Shut the fuck up and do some drugs you pussy.
Stexo is more of an asset to the community than a drug addicted shit muffin scammer fuck such as yourself. So fuck off Coachella and go seal up some turds and huff some jenkem or something.
Great post man.
:'(
I just think it would be kind of funny if these paranoid conspiracy weirdos started getting turds sent to them and find out their addresses are on a darknet forum.
"Who sent us all these turds?"
CONSPIRACY!!! Let's make a video about it.
Seriously though, that video fucking sucks. And they're sponsored by a pretty big media company.
It could be person to person, or you could use one of those anonymous services that let you send poop to a person (pick your animal) for about $30.
I check my inbox yesterday and I get this series of messages. Ladies and gentlemen, mods and admins, I am asking you to read this exchange between us and advise me as to if I am permitted to send this individual a bag of dog shit. After he stopped commenting, I saw him post in the +karma thread. I then looked at some of his posts. I would like you to look at his profile and his recent posts and tell me he isn't a scammer or a bottom-feeding fucktard worthy of being sterilized for the greater good of humanity. This is my stand against fucktards. #opdogshittacos
This dude is getting a bag of dog shit sent to him if a mod or admin can comment as to if I'm allowed. If I can't do it personally I will literally use the send shit in the mail service on the internet with a prepaid card considering he "gave" me his address for correspondence out of escrow and unsolicited. Thus in my opinion I am not breaking any rules. If he would give me the address unsolicited for xanax and permit me to send him correspondence, then I should certainly be able to send him dog shit. (I intend to include a Xanax bar if it helps)
Message Title: 2mg Xanax bars
yo sup bro hows your day going Bruce Campbell?
can you let me try a few bars?
I spent over 2,500$USD on silk road and been here for 2 years.
can you front me 5-10 and I will pay you next week on Tuesday?
let me know bro
Thanks,
i3lazd
if you can send me a few bars white send it to:
(redacted)
looking to get 300 2mg xanax bars need bulk
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Message Title: Fail
Hi,
I am well. Thanks for asking.
Normally I don't answer these type of messages, but you caught me at a time when I'm willing to answer one.
First, let me point out what I have written on my vendor page:
"Messages asking for freebies, samples or solicitation in general will not be read/replied to. Samples are announced in the forum and there is an established list of reviewers/samplers. You probably aren't one of them."
So, quite obviously the answer to your inquiry is a resounding "fuck no... why in the fuck would you even expect a reply from such an extremely retarded request or even ask if you are capable of reading the English language?"
I've been a buyer on Silk Road for two years and have spent your entire accumulated amount in less than a month on several occasions. Do you want a cookie?
I'm not doing business with a potential customer who will send me their address unsolicited and unencrypted and blatantly violate my terms of service and waste my time, let alone send you free drugs. I've taken the liberty of adding you to the vendor blacklist.
Have a nice day,
Bruce
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Message Title: ur cool
your cool...
I could have made u a lot of $$$ but forget it.
I would encrypt but I do not have time. I got 10 different addresses to send to.
later bro thanks for your nice letter =P
i3lazd
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Message Title: Fail #2
I am cool. I certainly have a fuckton of Xanax and assorted drugs. Certainly more than you have.
I can make myself a lot of $ $ $.
Cool beans. 10 addresses and 2k spent? Seems a bit like bullshit considering I don't have near that many shipping addresses and I'm a fucking drop shipper...
Lol. Fuck off dude. You brought my response upon yourself by asking me a stupid fucking question that I clearly have written on my profile not to ask and it got you put on the vendor blacklist for wasting my time.
I don't sell bulk Xanax anyway. I'm sure you can find another vendor to complete your order, but considering you sound like a 15 year old kid trying to get free Xanax bars bragging about your piddly ass buyer stats I doubt it.
Best of luck in your endeavors,
Bruce
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Message Title: ur a g00n
i am on xanax haha just playin bro....
im 22 years old bro
laterz nigga ass bitch
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Message Title: Fail #3
This isn't a threat or anything, but I'd shut the fuck up considering you sent your name, address, and age to an internet drug dealer and psychopath. I don't give a flying fuck if you're on Xanax, message me or disrespect me again and I'll mail you a bag of dog shit with a Xanax bar in it.
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Message Title: Fail #3
alright fuck you fag it not my address.
bitch ass nigger Bruce Campell a pussy!
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Message Title: Fail #4
Lol. Good luck placing an order from your buyer account in the near future. You have been added to the vendor blacklist and I've copied your PM's for all my vendor buddies in the private forum.
BIG BADASS CUSTOMER OVER HERE BEGGING FOR FREE XANAX EVERYONE! 10 shipping addresses AND 2500 spent?
Are you Tony Montana?
Get a job fucker.
Dogshit is too impersonal.
Send him your shit, tell him it's the best Opium around and the high hits harder when eaten...
But they can do testing on my turds to get a genetic match. That's why Obama has a special port-a-potty that he uses when overseas. The president's poop has it's own Secret Service detachment.
It's not jenkem unless you let it ferment like alcohol. You just pooped. Put a fresh turd in a bag with a little urine and all you're doing is huffing dookie air. Fermentation is where the magic begins.
I am the jenkem shaman.
I have an ancient family recipe, you gotta clench for like a week . It takes years to master this skill, and it ferments naturally inside you producing some of the highest quality jenkem available anywhere.
If anyone is interested this user is somewhat correct in his methods, but after a week in the colon the precursors tend to become rather hard, which hinders digestion and fermentation. Think about the microbes guys. If you let the precursors sit in the reaction vessel (your ass) for too long, there will be not enough organic material for the fermentation process to take place.
In collaboration with Jack n Hoff, I will be releasing shortly a free article and guide called "The Jenkem Diet, How to get High on Your Own Supply". With a special dedication to our local administrator and forum member Libertas.
Foreword by a special guest to be reveled upon release. Pun intended.
8)
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I wasn't toilet trained properly. This has lead to extreme sexually deviancy and a poop fetish.
I'm actually impressed "Baby Rapist". That must have taken quite some time to put together.
Now excuse me while I go watch my girlfriend take a shit. The Taco Bell should have kicked in by now.
+1
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I wasn't toilet trained properly. This has lead to extreme sexually deviancy and a poop fetish.
I'm actually impressed "Baby Rapist". That must have taken quite some time to put together.
Now excuse me while I go watch my girlfriend take a shit. The Taco Bell should have kicked in by now.
+1
You are an honest man.
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The things some people will do, looks like you got your own little stalker, though I have seen that writing style before, come on lets unmask this "baby rapist" what a wonderful name.
Try mine BR and see how many times I mention panties.
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Panties and poop mixed together. <3
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+1 this cracked me up 8) BruceCampbell "The PooP Lover" :P
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I voted yes and I like dicks personally. I find the penis to be an enviable thing. Mine anyway.
8)
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I voted yes I like dicks personally. I find the penis to be an enviable thing. Mine anyway.
8)
Especially in a sombrero ;D
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Definitely a sending shit in the mail to people fetish. xD
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Definitely a sending shit in the mail to people fetish. xD
Have you ever received a package of shit? Normally people are excited to see things. But when you open it... you're like, "this is poop!"
WHY?! AGH GOD DAMMIT.
Lol.
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Definitely a sending shit in the mail to people fetish. xD
Have you ever received a package of shit? Normally people are excited to see things. But when you open it... you're like, "this is poop!"
WHY?! AGH GOD DAMMIT.
Lol.
You're a fecal monster. lol
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Definitely a sending shit in the mail to people fetish. xD
Have you ever received a package of shit? Normally people are excited to see things. But when you open it... you're like, "this is poop!"
WHY?! AGH GOD DAMMIT.
Lol.
You're a fecal monster. lol
I'm surprised I haven't been called out on my jenkem addiction yet. Fuck you guys, get your shit together... I mean it's so obvious you can smell my breath through Tor.
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I voted yes and I like dicks personally. I find the penis to be an enviable thing. Mine anyway.
8)
Nothing wrong with making shorties envious. ;)
I like my dick and I dont really don't think there is anything wrong with somebody liking more dicks besides their own, it just isn't my thing.
I do like seeing a huge dick that puts mine in shadow that appears to be from the Goodyear Blimp over-head..
Just so everyone knows, I am out of pot for three weeks until I begin ordering, so please be gentle.
I don't even like myself sober. :)