1. Admit that you are not a good enough Christian (or even a Christian at all!!) 2. Desire to be a better Christian 3. Say as many Christian group prayers as possible 4. Turn your life over to the Christian God and Jesus, you obviously suck at living it yourself as you use the Devils substances 5. Worship Jebus! 6. Hallelujah 7. Amen!! 8. Get your slip signed for the Christian parole officer / judge / probation officer 9. Give your slip to the Christian parole officer / judge / probation officer 10. Talk about how you totally love God and Jesus and like totally hit rock bottom smoking that devil Negro weed man 11. Finish up requirements to get off probation / parole or out of rehab or whatever 12. Smoke a bowl and try not to get busted by the Christian police again