Silk Road forums
Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: directdope on March 30, 2013, 07:39 am
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- Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you
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--You were born caucasian but all your friends assume you're Chinese
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--You can ask for weed in other languages
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--You think everyone is staring at you and there's nobody in the room
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you know ur a stoner when you get up extra early so you can be super ready, and on ur way out the door ur like "fuck wheres my keys?
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stoner moment: A mate message me on FB saying to ring this girl to check if his phone was at her house as we were there last night after a party.
I do so and yeah the phone was there. I then proceeded to text my mate saying
"yo, yeah she has got your phone man".
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uhhh what were we talking about?
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When you hear some one at the end of their drink slurping an think who the fuck is hittin a bong in McDonald's ?
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when you go to pack your second bowl andyou realise you only took one hit from the first.....fuk this shit is good
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You know you're a stoner when you try to take a bite from the remote control and change the channel with a burrito.
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You know you're a stoner when you clean out your backpack and find a bowl of weed in the bottom of it, and decide its still green enough to smoke.
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when you format your laptop... and..... MY COOOOOINSSS! FUUUCK
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12 to go
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You know you're a stoner when youre high, decide to call a friend, and it goes like this:
Friend:hello?
You:.........
(Quickly check phone to remember who you were calling in the first place)
You: ....HEY man whatsup.
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You're a stoner when you take an hour long shower smoking kush
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when you check the speedometer and it's EXACTLY 40 kms/h
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When you have ash and burnt holes on all your shirts
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.... when you walk like a half mile to smoke a joint with your friend and you forgot to take a lighter
and you ask your friend "where's the lighter" and you notice it's in your hand.
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when you hide your stash and ca't fucking remember WHERE
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You say "For sure we can use my piece." But you're thinking, "nice more resin for me."
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When u post on this thread
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U know ur a stoner when ur HERE while ur at work/school reading and posting on this thread lol
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hen u turn ur radio down and sit as strait as possible when a cop drives by
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When you're throat is sore from NOT smoking in the past few hours!
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You know you're a stoner when you feel comfortable talking to your parents blitzed
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wooo hooo! bye bye ya'll
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Damn directdope you're for sure one true stoner!
Enjoy the forums :)
-JUR 8)
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I must admit, I laughed at a few of these.
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Keep it up mates, I wanna laugh some moore!
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You know you're a stoner when youre high, decide to call a friend, and it goes like this:
Friend:hello?
You:.........
(Quickly check phone to remember who you were calling in the first place)
You: ....HEY man whatsup.
This has totally happened to me.
Also, when you want to get higher but you can't remember where you JUST put your weed. That one worries me.
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Let's keep it up NEWBIES! post here to get 50 posts and gain acces to other threads
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You lose your phone at least 3 times a week. :P
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When the sandwich baggies you throw away all mysteriously have one corner stretched and torn from them.
When the resin you used to let collect in your pipe, for when you had no weed, now is just a sticky pipe-clogging nuisance that you disposed of like boogers.
Only users lose drugs.
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... Your watching a porno and you notice your staring at the cock
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Reply 1, 8 and 11 were the best haha
you know youre a stoner when you find your lighter in a bag of cheese sticks
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You water your plants with used bongwater
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... you pull into the gas station blazed and freak out because you cannot for the life of you remember which side of your car the gas tank is on
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You know you're a stoner when you have 1 million "You know you're a stoner" incidents but you can only remember 3 at the moment.
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When you check if the back doors locked...four times.
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Damn, y'all are killin me here. So many of these things, I have done.
you know you're a stoner when the lady at the gas station pulls out the rillo you always ask for without you having to ask and throws it in a bag before you get to the counter. you also know she's a stoner, or at least cool, because she does this when there's a cop hanging out drinking soda on the other side of the store.
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You smoke a joint before you brush your teeth
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When you lose your keys more than once before you leave the house.
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When you find pipes you forgot you had tucked away in dressers and backpacks.
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When your constantly putting things in the refrigerator, that do not belong in there ;D
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... when everything you own is green
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when you have three identical tabs opened up of the same page in your internet browser.
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when you spend more than $10 at Taco Bell
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When you pay the weed man and tell the water company you need a week extension on the bill.
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When you tell your friends about the dinner you created and they all look at you in disgust.
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when your bong is cleaner than anything else in your home.
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you can't get enough weed in real life so you go find SR.
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... you go to an interview and start your new job stoned so they don't think anything is up later on.
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when you collect strains like little kids collect matchbox cars
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when you go through two bottles of ISO a week cleaning oil rigs.
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you stay at home masturbating, forgetting that you masturbated, and do it all day long.
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you get high just thinking about smoking.
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when you mix butter with i cant believe its not butter so that you kinda believe its butter
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you post in multiple forums about the same exact thing, thinking it's a completely different topic.
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your dildo is also your bong.
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tryptomines sound like fun.
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your dildo is also your bong.
that means your gay
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everybody is like "Hey, that guy is very high, and probably smokes all of the time. Let's label him!"
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your dildo is also your bong.
that means your gay
You're gay. Just remember that when facing your grammar teacher in grade 6.
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people speak about possessing a homosexual in front of you.
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all you care about is reaching 50 posts so that you can post in the official Avengers LSD forum in the Rumor Mill.
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all that's happened today is sweatpants and a bowl
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all you care about is reaching 50 posts so that you can post in the official Avengers LSD forum in the Rumor Mill.
;)
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you're about to pass out and you want to smoke a couple joints before you really konk out.
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even though you sort of hate it, you still laugh when something comes up 420.
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you agree with the poster above you.
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HOLMESDICKWATSONSBALLS
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When?
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You accidentally post in the wrong post when you just smoked a bowl of kif.
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your balls can be touched. or pussy. whatever.
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all that you do is made of sand in a billion years anyway so what's the point I mean really if we were meant to make a lasting impression on this earth, why wouldn't our societies know how to preserve even the toughest of items? Even words stop being said when nobody is left.
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when you are a stoner ?!
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you believed what I said in the last post was any bit sensible.
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your mom calls you over to make supper and you sit down to an empty plate and start eating.
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You smoke a joint after you've brushed your teeth...
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Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmy
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You get fronted blunts at the mini mart, but still had money for a sac of weed.
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get so high, drive to the store and forget what you wanted to buy
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when you have a dream thats a dream but a dream
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. . . When even your kids and newborn baby have drugs shoved up their ass at the airport, because your habit is so god damn huge!
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You know you're a stoner when.........
I forgot what I was going to say 8)
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You know you're a stoner when you smoke weed regularly
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Well - I can tell you when I know I'm stoned (I already know I'm a stoner). My criteria for being really good and stoned is when I'm going somewhere and I have no clue whatsoever how to get to where I'm going or where I am. Totally lost, although it's just a short term lost since I still manage to get to whereever I'm headed. It's just that I have no clue each step of the way where I really am or where I need to head next. It's a cool sensation and, for me, defines the border between buzzed and FUCKED UP.
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You know you're a stoner when you have a staring contest wit a poster on the wall and get mad because you can't beat it... ;D
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.... you're smoking a cigarette and you put it out and then forget that you just finished a cigarette and smoke another one.
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you know you're a stoner if you get high while waiting for your friends to come over to get high.
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when you get lost in best buy
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you need to smoke to eat
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you need weed to sleep
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when you left good karma to directdope, for having such a wonderfull and funny idea to get the 50 posts
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wen u relize that evry minute of the day ur high .. than u roll another
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Your stoner when you leave the bars downtown at midnight, drive home just to do a line or two, spend over a hour there then drive all the back downtown to go back to the bars, and your buzz is gone
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Well shit me
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You get up to pack another bowl and find yourself outside staring at the sky for 20min only to realize you had already packed a bowl and were holding it the whole time (true story).
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You forget where you put the pipe thats in your left hand
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You know your a stoner when you own a bong, a pipe, a vaporiser, multiple packets of papers and no bud!
You know your a stoner when you get excited over some new gear.
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You were supposed to clean your room, but then got high... LMAO
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You get so high that rules of spider solitaire entertain and fascinate you (another true story, from my early days haha)
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You lose every single lighter in the house and start looking for matches
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..you realize you're at the grocery store and forget what you went in there for and end up buying $50 worth of chips and cookies!
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when you feel like icecream when you just had one ???
:D
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... you leave the tobacco outta your spliff and don't notice the difference...
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...when you sprinkle little amounts of weed to your goldfish hoping you can cure them of such a boring existence!
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Your good day turns into a bad day when you open the storage chamber of your pipe and there's no resin left in there because you've already used it... :'(
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You know you're a stoner when 7/11 turns into your new supermarket.
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...when the pizza delivery asks if he can buy some off you after you open your front door.
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...when the pizza delivery asks if he can buy some off you after you open your front door.
;D
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When you can make a piece out of virtually any food item in your kitchen...
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You find an old one-hitter in the bottom of a 10 year old toolbox (mine), and try to get a few resin hits from it.
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You know you're a stoner when OH SHIT I ALMOST HIT A CAR
I'm driving on the interstate doing heroin
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.....you break your bowl to get at the resin, then realize you now have nothing to smoke it with
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..you clicking F5 and not bothered to wait.