Silk Road forums

Discussion => Silk Road discussion => Topic started by: isthereanyneed on February 26, 2013, 08:59 pm

Title: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: isthereanyneed on February 26, 2013, 08:59 pm: Kids on sr getting into some heavy shit right now, fake beard scene is really starting to take off, to many innocent victims to many lives destroyed, kids start off with side burns then work up to moustache's and before you can say captin birds eye their hooked.......

FAKE BEARDS RUIN LIVES, JUST SAY NO!!!!!

P.S, sorry Fallkniven, couldnt resist. :)
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: Jediknight on February 26, 2013, 10:57 pm: I got a good beard supplier on line. Good shit. Made from the pubic hairs of young latino boys. Soft and full.

You gotta watch purity though out there. Some people selling dog hair and snipping off their mom's pubic hairs while she sleeps at night and making these fake beards and selling them on SR.

Fake beards. and of course you have to ask, why not just grow one. .. but you know .. some kids think this will pass for a grown up and buy beer or something? Maybe get laid from an old lady at the bar?

I'll set up a vendor account and make fake beards from pubic hair. Should go over good. hehe
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: MC Haberdasher on February 26, 2013, 11:30 pm: Well, the good thing is..

I haven't seen anyone asking for FE for any fake beards. I haven't seen anyone offering re-ships either.

We need more competition in that section.
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: HEATFan on February 27, 2013, 12:39 am: FUCK YOU MAN DON'T JUDGE ME
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: jailbirdslanger on February 27, 2013, 01:11 am: Real beards give sports teams a face... BEARDSANITY #HTOWNSTANDUP
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: HEATFan on February 27, 2013, 01:17 am: Quote from: jailbirdslanger on February 27, 2013, 01:11 am
Real beards give sports teams a face... BEARDSANITY #HTOWNSTANDUP

Real teams don't need a beard to establish face *cough cough*
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: Christy Nugs on February 27, 2013, 01:58 am: i only have bearded clam but not many have got to see it roflmfto!!!
and its real and not from small latino boys!
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: HEATFan on February 27, 2013, 03:47 am: Quote from: Christy Nugs on February 27, 2013, 01:58 am
i only have bearded clam but not many have got to see it roflmfto!!!
and its real and not from small latino boys!

Is this the wrong time to say "pics or it didn't happen"?
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: oldtoby on February 27, 2013, 04:06 am: I never thought I'd admit this. I've tried to forget but for the sake of the youngsters I'll tell my little tale.

I was young once. Innocent. Naive.

I mean, ok. Not completely innocent. I toked a little. I liked my mushies. A little opium. Some amphetamines, hash, mescaline, but basically pure as the driven fucking snow.

Then it happens. I fall in with the wrong crowd. You know the ones I mean. Hipsters.

And it starts small. Like maybe a soul patch, or a goatee or something. Mutton chops. An ironic stache. Gateway hair.

I'm sure you can guess the rest. It's all a bit of a blur to me.

One morning I look in the mirror. Hair artfully dishevelled. A mix of last year's almost fashions and next year's retro-sclacker chic. And a full fucking beard.

I don't even get it yet. I tug at the whiskers. Fond memories of the quality fake beards of my youth. "No..." I mumble. My voice rises to a scream as I realize the Shyamalanian twist. "Noooo...!"

The beard was real.
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: Krokodine on February 27, 2013, 10:04 am: I am to high right now to even ask what is going on in this thread >:(
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: isthereanyneed on February 27, 2013, 10:16 am: Its not like it was in the good old days when you could get could quality untouched pure beard hair, now its all the synthetic rubbish and a friend of mine even reported finding a couple of gingers in his fake beard.

Bring back farmers fake beards thats what I say you knew where you stood with a farmers beard, good all rounder and good times, never get those days back!
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: Fallkniven on February 27, 2013, 11:47 am: fuck you isthereanyneed man

FUCK ..|.. o_O ..|.. YOU

fucken love silk road

thanks dpr, you rule
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: XXXotica on February 27, 2013, 02:52 pm: Quote from: oldtoby on February 27, 2013, 04:06 am
I never thought I'd admit this. I've tried to forget but for the sake of the youngsters I'll tell my little tale.

I was young once. Innocent. Naive.

I mean, ok. Not completely innocent. I toked a little. I liked my mushies. A little opium. Some amphetamines, hash, mescaline, but basically pure as the driven fucking snow.

Then it happens. I fall in with the wrong crowd. You know the ones I mean. Hipsters.

And it starts small. Like maybe a soul patch, or a goatee or something. Mutton chops. An ironic stache. Gateway hair.

I'm sure you can guess the rest. It's all a bit of a blur to me.

One morning I look in the mirror. Hair artfully dishevelled. A mix of last year's almost fashions and next year's retro-sclacker chic. And a full fucking beard.

I don't even get it yet. I tug at the whiskers. Fond memories of the quality fake beards of my youth. "No..." I mumble. My voice rises to a scream as I realize the Shyamalanian twist. "Noooo...!"

The beard was real.

Lol +1 for the laugh
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: isthereanyneed on February 27, 2013, 04:05 pm: Quote from: XXXotica on February 27, 2013, 02:52 pm
Quote from: oldtoby on February 27, 2013, 04:06 am
I never thought I'd admit this. I've tried to forget but for the sake of the youngsters I'll tell my little tale.

I was young once. Innocent. Naive.

I mean, ok. Not completely innocent. I toked a little. I liked my mushies. A little opium. Some amphetamines, hash, mescaline, but basically pure as the driven fucking snow.

Then it happens. I fall in with the wrong crowd. You know the ones I mean. Hipsters.

And it starts small. Like maybe a soul patch, or a goatee or something. Mutton chops. An ironic stache. Gateway hair.

I'm sure you can guess the rest. It's all a bit of a blur to me.

One morning I look in the mirror. Hair artfully dishevelled. A mix of last year's almost fashions and next year's retro-sclacker chic. And a full fucking beard.

I don't even get it yet. I tug at the whiskers. Fond memories of the quality fake beards of my youth. "No..." I mumble. My voice rises to a scream as I realize the Shyamalanian twist. "Noooo...!"

The beard was real.

Lol +1 for the laugh

This is no laughing matter XXXexotica, this guy has clearly been a victim of beard abuse! It took a lot for him to come forward well done.

BEARD ABUSE HELP LINE CALL- 0890 234 GINGER PUBE
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: laplace on February 27, 2013, 04:15 pm: Currently cultivating my real beard as a hair transplant. Never know when ya might need it. Fake beards - just say NO!
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: Christy Nugs on February 27, 2013, 04:24 pm: i feel 4 u oldtoby!
i know many hipsters here that that have the same affliction....
the: skate boards, torn jeans, B.O. , chains, coy fish tattoos and OMG! the BEARDS! mostly with yesterdays food attached.....
its insidious!

Question: whats the difference between a hipster and a coy fish?
Answer: the coy fish doesnt have a tattoo of a hipster.
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: BreakOnThrough on February 27, 2013, 04:26 pm: Quote from: laplace on February 27, 2013, 04:15 pm
Currently cultivating my real beard as a hair transplant. Never know when ya might need it. Fake beards - just say NO!
You heard the jail time you can get for beard cultivation these days?
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: laplace on February 27, 2013, 04:32 pm: Quote
You heard the jail time you can get for beard cultivation these days?
Got the reverse mohawk thing going - should keep me outa jail for a while.
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: smogmonster13 on February 27, 2013, 04:46 pm: Is there any point to the fake, should the real become endangered?
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: modziw on February 27, 2013, 05:28 pm: One good thing about beards - keeps away the bearded clams...

Dumb-ass kids. I sell my shaved ass hair outta the back of my ice cream truck. Sells better than push-pops.

Modzi
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: BreakOnThrough on February 27, 2013, 05:37 pm: Quote from: laplace on February 27, 2013, 04:32 pm
Quote
You heard the jail time you can get for beard cultivation these days?
Got the reverse mohawk thing going - should keep me outa jail for a while.
Remember - DENY DENY DENY
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: whowhatwhere on February 28, 2013, 11:26 pm: Quote from: oldtoby on February 27, 2013, 04:06 am
I never thought I'd admit this. I've tried to forget but for the sake of the youngsters I'll tell my little tale.

I was young once. Innocent. Naive.

I mean, ok. Not completely innocent. I toked a little. I liked my mushies. A little opium. Some amphetamines, hash, mescaline, but basically pure as the driven fucking snow.

Then it happens. I fall in with the wrong crowd. You know the ones I mean. Hipsters.

And it starts small. Like maybe a soul patch, or a goatee or something. Mutton chops. An ironic stache. Gateway hair.

I'm sure you can guess the rest. It's all a bit of a blur to me.

One morning I look in the mirror. Hair artfully dishevelled. A mix of last year's almost fashions and next year's retro-sclacker chic. And a full fucking beard.

I don't even get it yet. I tug at the whiskers. Fond memories of the quality fake beards of my youth. "No..." I mumble. My voice rises to a scream as I realize the Shyamalanian twist. "Noooo...!"

The beard was real.
This is the best thing I've read all day!! What really kicked it off was having Gandalf with his luscious beard as your avatar pic. +1, good sir!
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: sirius on March 03, 2013, 02:55 am: Wait...... you mean somebody beat me to the fake beard hustle? I literally just finished canvassing my local spas and gym locker rooms putting together a fire supply chain for the fake beard market... Shit.
If you'll excuse me I'm going to go clean this surplus product out of my backpack, as I doubt there's room for two beard vendors round these parts.. fuck me, maybe I'll go set up an account at bmr.. at least then I don't have to worry about shipping, or packaging, or product, or any other pesky business shit.. maybe if that fails someone in the armory can trade me some beards for a gun to blow my fucking brains out... shit.
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: Mr. Fluffles Schrodinger on March 03, 2013, 05:18 am: Quote from: isthereanyneed on February 27, 2013, 10:16 am
Its not like it was in the good old days when you could get could quality untouched pure beard hair, now its all the synthetic rubbish and a friend of mine even reported finding a couple of gingers in his fake beard.

Bring back farmers fake beards thats what I say you knew where you stood with a farmers beard, good all rounder and good times, never get those days back!

I've heard the Amish make good beards.... Might be a bit pricey, though.
Title: Re: Fake beards ruin lives, just say NO
Post by: laplace on March 03, 2013, 02:18 pm: Quote
the BEARDS! mostly with yesterdays food attached
Awww, cmon, it's just a snack, really. Though it seems to attract cats, hmmm.

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