Q: What do you call a rave full of epileptics? A: A foam party.Amy Winehouse bumps into Jeremy Clarkson and they start to chat.She says to him, "What do you do?"He replies, "Top Gear".She says "Fucking brilliant I'll have two grams"Q: Why did the hens get thrown out from the boat rave?A: Because they was taking eggs to sea.Q: Why did the religious person give up smoking? A: Because god hates fagsQ: What were Princess Diana's favourite drugs?A: Speed & SmackQ: How can you tell when an addict is lying?A: When he opens up his mouth. (No offense, addicts of the world)Q: What did the one gay magic mushroom say to the other gay magic mushroom?A: How's it going fun guy?A young man on acid walked into a dentist's office and said, " Can you help me? I think I'm a moth."The dentist said, "You don't need a dentist. You need a psychiatrist.""Yes, I know," the man said.The dentist asked, "So then why did you come in here?"The man replied, "The light was on."Q: Why did the blonde snort artificial sweetener?A: She thought it was diet coke.Q: What do you get when you take ecstasy and birth control pills?A: A trip without the kids. Q: What are the first five words a crackhead in a three piece tailored suit hears?A: "Will the defendant please rise"Q: What do you call someone who stays up for 14 days straight?A: A two-weeker.Q: What's the best thing about being a meth addict?A: Only one sleep till christmas.Q: What is the worst thing about having snorted way too much meth?A: You have to hold the jet when you take a leak.Q: What do women addicted to heroin got in common with ice-hockey players?A: They both change clothes after three periods.Q: What do you have in a room full of tweakers? A: A complete set of teeth!Amphetamines are used by millions of American kids and adults every day to treat attention-deficitA speedfreak is out walking one fine evening. He finds a poor person on the street and helps him up. The poor person says, "Son, I'm a genie. And since you helped me I'll give you three wishes."The speedfreak says, "I want a big bag of meth!", the genie says."Okay." POOF, the bag appears! They prepare some thick long white lines and share it between the two of them.The next morning the genie asks "What's the second wish?", "I want two big bags of meth", says the speedfreak. "Okay," says the genie. POOF! And they prepare it and snort it between the two of them.The next morning the genie asks "And the third wish?" "I want four big bags of meth!" POOOF!! So, they prepare lots of big lines and share it between the two of them.Much later the genie gets up and says, "Okay, it's time for me to go." The genie takes a couple of steps, pauses, turns around and says, "Okay, just one more wish."Q. What did one deadhead say to the other when he ran out of weed?A. "Hey man, this music sucks!"