Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Sapper on January 11, 2013, 08:20 pm
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Up until a week ago, life had been a misery - for 10 years or more.
Chest pain
Throat pain on one side (Convinced it was cancer)
High blood pressure
Excessive sweating to the point of changing clothes three times a day even though I was cold
Sociophobia
Blushing for no reason when talking to people
Palpitations
Gastric reflux
IBS
Insomnia and Laziness
Celibacy and pathetic shy meekness
Mumbling my words
Isolation
Depression
My legal prescriptions are Propranolol for the palps and Lansoprazole for the reflux. Which only seem to relieve the symptoms not the cause.
I lost count how many times I went to the doctors (which was an additional anxiety factor in itself ) but every single time, I felt let down. Maybe it was my inability to express myself.
It was clear from the start that I was completely misunderstood and for the most part ignored.
One doctor said "If it was anything serious you'd be dead by now". Another doctor ridiculed me for asking for a second opinion about the throat pain after a specialist diagnosed reflux as a cause of the throat thing.
Anyway after a really serious bout of IBS that kept me from working normally and though shame using up all my leave just to get away from people, stress and to allow me the sanctuary of my own home toilet. I found a web page that linked anxiety to this condition. It suggested Valium.
I thought I'd give it a try and since just about every institution here is so risk averse, I knew it would never be prescribed.
So here I am forced onto SR and self prescribing, feeling better than ever on 2-5 mg Diazepam per day and catching up on lost time.
Immediate results! Shitting normally, pain almost gone, going out and enjoying it, meeting girls without terror, and generally not giving a fuck about all that shit that kept me indoors and ill for all those years.
Thanks Silk Road !
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Glad to hear it man!
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you reminds me of me... I like that
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I have anxiety too
thanks for your story
i will try Diazepam
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that is good to hear.
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stock up! buy as much as you can. if sr goes down or something happens and you are left without medication......
it would be wise to try and get it prescribed to you. try to talk with your doctor about it....
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Glad to hear it! I would definitely suggest talking with your doctor about it to see if you can get prescribed. I had a similar situation with a different drug and was able to eventually get prescribed after discussing it with the doc.
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Up until a week ago, life had been a misery - for 10 years or more.
Chest pain
Throat pain on one side (Convinced it was cancer)
High blood pressure
Excessive sweating to the point of changing clothes three times a day even though I was cold
Sociophobia
Blushing for no reason when talking to people
Palpitations
Gastric reflux
IBS
Insomnia and Laziness
Celibacy and pathetic shy meekness
Mumbling my words
Isolation
Depression
My legal prescriptions are Propranolol for the palps and Lansoprazole for the reflux. Which only seem to relieve the symptoms not the cause.
I lost count how many times I went to the doctors (which was an additional anxiety factor in itself ) but every single time, I felt let down. Maybe it was my inability to express myself.
It was clear from the start that I was completely misunderstood and for the most part ignored.
One doctor said "If it was anything serious you'd be dead by now". Another doctor ridiculed me for asking for a second opinion about the throat pain after a specialist diagnosed reflux as a cause of the throat thing.
Anyway after a really serious bout of IBS that kept me from working normally and though shame using up all my leave just to get away from people, stress and to allow me the sanctuary of my own home toilet. I found a web page that linked anxiety to this condition. It suggested Valium.
I thought I'd give it a try and since just about every institution here is so risk averse, I knew it would never be prescribed.
So here I am forced onto SR and self prescribing, feeling better than ever on 2-5 mg Diazepam per day and catching up on lost time.
Immediate results! Shitting normally, pain almost gone, going out and enjoying it, meeting girls without terror, and generally not giving a fuck about all that shit that kept me indoors and ill for all those years.
Thanks Silk Road !
Excellent to hear that your life has improved as a result of finding SR. Be careful with Valium though (and other benzodiazepines); benzos can get very addictive, very quickly. Diazepam withdrawal isn't something you'll want to go through so try to get to know your limits and limit your usage to what you really need rather than what you think you need. If possible, discuss the effects and potential for addiction of Valium with a liberal medical professional.
Other than that, enjoy your new lease of life! :)
- grahamgreene
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I come here to self medicate as well. I have been in and out of different doctor offices for years. I finally found a doctor who was willing to "work" with me and we made some unusual discoveries that helped me immensely. Then a few years later I moved away to another city not even really thinking about the medication problem. I started again, different doctors, just hoping I could find one who would prescribe for me what worked such wonders. No way. I cannot find a single doctor here who will listen to me. They offer other meds that I have taken before and are either not effective or have unwanted side effects. So, like you, here I am on the road...
Probably unlike you I have a history with abuse. Those days are behind me but I do like a taste every now and then and I do my best to keep it in check. So the road comes in handy there as well.
Anyways, I am glad you found relief.
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I'm also happy this site has improved aspects of your life as it has improved certain aspects of mine. I want to second what grahamgreene said about valium though, I myself do various benzos from time to time, but years ago did have quite awful withdrawals after I quit a 2 month habit of a doctor's prescription of Roche valium doing 5 or 10 mg per day. Since that horrible experience I've learned the hard way to just use them carefully in moderation when they are most beneficial. Everyone has different limits but just don't underestimate yours like I did. I know many others who have also had problems with giving up benzos, the danger with benzos lies in how subtly they can make you somewhat reliant on them without you even realizing. Whatever works for you though, stick with it, I still take different valium doses now and then, just be careful with any kind of daily use.
One of the main reasons why I actually joined here as well was to get access to good quality pharmaceuticals without having to go to doctors regularly. I used to go to doctors to get my benzos and sometimes pain medication and it was always really irritating having to put on a show for them in order to be taken seriously. It feels like most doctors won't just take your word for anything that you have issues with whatever, so you have to really act it out for them over a series of time wasting sessions and make it obvious for them to prescribe you what they should just give you without all the drama. Now that I have a large stash of different pharmaceuticals, it's not like I'm using them habitually or binging, I occasionally take them responsibly when needed for their intended use, just without supervision, but I have done my research.
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I too mainly only supplement my anxiety and pain needs.
X)
nomad
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Well, I don't suffer from as many things as you (I'm very sorry, this world can be cruel), I do suffer from depression and anxiety. I was kinda brought here the same reason as you. I do take chemical drugs for my depression, and I live in the southern states, where medical marijuana won't be legalized for quite some time (even for medical purposes). It's way too difficult and unsafe to buy off the streets here, and I don't trust anyone. Marijuana is the only thing I've tried that actually HELPS with depression, and isn't detrimental to my well-being.
Best of luck to you. You seem like a good person, and for some reason good people always suffer. I love you (no homo).