Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: taylorgang1 on September 26, 2012, 02:46 am
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Hi everyone, I'm new here. Silk Road is one of the best Ive ever seen, most ingenious browser great fucking work I give you tons of props. I am 23, good looking (girls and guys drool) I am completely honest and trustworthy. Ive lived with my mother my whole life, dont even know my father. Yet I still cant get anywhere in life. I dropped out of school, not because I was failing but because I realized even if I do get a career I would still be in the rat race just like 90 percent of Americans. Decided to just start busting my ass hustling, working odd jobs, anything. Ive been in two pretty bad car accidents (not my fault, idiots) very bad head injury and back injury. Which completely changed the my life!! My ways of thinking, huge anxiety/panic attacks, back pain. Ive been taking pills for my anxiety which are off the streets, doctor wont prescribe them to me. I cant get a job, my mother cant help me because she can barely pay for our bills, I need help guys. Doctors tried to help me by putting me in a mental jail freak show for a month. I honestly don't know what to do at this point and seriously considering hanging myself (which I believe in my opinion takes a hell of a lot of will power and balls to do).
I don't want to leave my family like this and I'm hoping someone is out here to help me out in any way you can, please.
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we just gota find some resources for you to find till u get on your feet...
maybe some social insurance to take care of ya.. what state are u in?
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don't take your own life. its never that bad. i promise! Things will get better. put out many applications daily for a job until you find one. i used to be in the same position that you are when i was 18 but now i have my own house, family and a very good job.
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get out of america and move to a country where they give a shit about your health
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I can't help you but I suggest you some things :
- Wake up and get out of your home daily,meet people and be social (no drugs needed to do this)
- Try to get a real job,just ask people,online job search etc...
- Be independent from your mom as you can,when you will get a job you could help her pay the bills and shit,she will totally appreciate this.
You have a whole life to reach your dream.
Wuffy ;D
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You say you can't get a job, what's the reason for that? Have you considered furthering your education, getting your GED, maybe checking into local community colleges for programs that might lead to a job? I agree with the poster who recommended getting out of the house, you definitely want to get out and around some other people as often as you can, it'll help with the feelings you're having...good luck, let us know how it goes...
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Been sifting on these boards for a few weeks now... saw this post so i had to make an account to reply.
Dude, your in a shit space at the moment, i was in your spot about 3 years ago... but worse! Along with all your stuff i was also looking at a jail sentence.
And being a good looking white boy that was not what i wanted... i was gonna top myself too.
What i did after advice from a mate, i signed up for a course to become qualified... no previous qualifications were necessary and it was in a different city.
At my sentencing the judge let me off jail to continue the course just putting restrictions on.
It got me away from all the bad things in my life and i was able to become an new person, meet new people, new surroundings, new adventures.
Life is so good now... im a qualified tradesman, good job, good pay, new friends, new girl.
Bro, if you are in USA i would highly recommend looking to study in Australia, awesome place, heaps of jobs etc.
Study costs will be a bit but usually part of the courses are getting you into a good job and they will allow working visa for you to stay on and live etc.
Do some googleing mate, there is an awesome world outside!
.
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Try using your computer and look around for charities such as the Salvation Army who should be able to help you with some professional help or at the very least, point you in the right direction. You need a new outlook on life. I know from personal experience, it's not easy to make it in today's world. However, as I quickly learnt, it's up to you to make the change and it has to come from within. As the saying goes, "You can't help someone unless they help themselves." One of the best sayings I ever heard that has really stuck with me and is so true is -
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got"
Best of luck. :)
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If you hang yourself you are a fucking coward. That's not the answer, you just gotta keep pushing. Topping yourself is letting the world win.
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it all starts with your mind set. You have to get up each day and tell yourself things are going to change. Life isn't easy and never will be, thats why you have to make things happen. Only you can make those changes. Find something that makes you happy.
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Idle hands are the devils tools man. A lack of independence will poison a man's worth and leave you cascading in a spiral of progressively increasing depression.
Sign up at all the temporary work agencies within your city or neighboring larger city. They are there. (Penmac, Human Resource Staffing, PeopleLink Staffing, Day Labor, ManPower, Labor Ready). As long as you SHOW UP and aren't a total fucking idiot on a job; it usually leads to a full time employment.
On days you cannot or aren't getting calls for jobs, set up appointments to donate plasma at a clinic. It will take you an hour and half tops and you'll get paid $50 or more a week for two donations. Sign up for clinical research studies where you'll be housed, fed and get paid. (I just did a new nicotine patch for a weekend 3 day stay and got paid $800).
Fill out applications at all the local Union outfit as an apprentice for sheet metal, plumbers, carpenters, pipe fitters or electricians. This will give you an invaluable skill later in life that can be applied to home ownership and save you money in the long run.
If you're physically unable to do manual labor jobs; like someone said earlier, get a Certification. Community colleges have 6 month crash courses for technical degrees like medical techs, drafting, automotive, class A CDL licensing. With your situation you'd qualify for a Pell Grant (Free Guddamint Money!) that would cover all expenses and even give you spending cash.
Torrent some books that teach you how to web program, C++, Java, MySQL or any other very applicable skills you can advertise.
If you get a job interview for a skill position that you have no clue how to do, look the boss/interviewer in the eyes and tell them that you will work, free of pay, for the first week while you learn the job. That will get you hired on the spot 9/10 trust me.
You say you don't want to join the American grind, but in all honesty that's a pussy and lazy way to look at it. Part of being a man is doing man shit. Man shit is stuff you don't want to do. You are at a very opportune time in your life since I am assuming you do not have anyone else to take care of. If anything do it to help your mama out.
Good luck to you man, I hope you pop back on this thread to read what everyone is suggesting and USE it.
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Hey Bro. I have been in very similar shoes. Several years ago I had a major accident. Was in the hospital for a month. Struggled with panic attacks and major anxiety for a year. Everytime I tried to push myself I just spin out. Was taking xanax daily.
Here is what helped for me: I started taking an anti-depressant. I took Lexapro. Welbutrin is a good one, two. Within a week the panic attacks stopped. I stayed on the anti-depressants for a few more months, but did not need them long term. I just needed to break that chemical cycle.
The next thing was, as these guys have been saying, is to get busy. Get to work. That is sometimes easier said than done. It was so easy to run into walls and get frustrated. I was always beating myself up and then getting stuck.
The trick is to start getting some wins -things you can feel good about and go from there. It will take time, but you start to build a cycle and momentum.
Here is what worked for me:
1) Keep it simple: Focus on one or two important but simple things at a time, do it consistently. I had gotten to the point where just eating and getting out of the house was a challenge. For a month, my only goal was to eat 3 good meals, and get out of the house for walk. I tried to ignore all of the other shit. 3 squares and walk. My folks checked up on me every day. We would talk about other stuff, but it was about the meals and the walks. I felt totally retarded at first, but the eating really helped. I would walk to the coffee shop and actually interact with a few people. It was stupid, but was the first stuff that I had done right in about a year.
2) Add a little bit at a time, but be consistent. I had been helping my buddy and folks on a few projects when I could. Maybe a couple of days a week. After the eating and walks felt easy, I committed to working with a buddy on his house 4 mornings a week. Two other mornings I helped my folks. I had one day off. I did that for about 2 months. As long as i showed up and got a few things done we were all happy. By the end I had a routine. Some projects I was enjoying. I was able to get shit done The world didn't seem so scary.
3) At that point I was offered a part time job. The pay was shit, but the people were good and knew what I had gone through.
For me it was all about building routine. One little thing at the time. Whenever I tried to take everything on, it all just jumbled and fell apart. And when I fucked up I would just focus right back on the simple things. Eat. Get out of the house. Show up,and try to helpful. Try not to worry about the rest.
Good luck. Start wherever you are, but start. you'll get there.
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Hi everyone, I'm new here. Silk Road is one of the best Ive ever seen, most ingenious browser great fucking work I give you tons of props. I am 23, good looking (girls and guys drool) I am completely honest and trustworthy. Ive lived with my mother my whole life, dont even know my father. Yet I still cant get anywhere in life. I dropped out of school, not because I was failing but because I realized even if I do get a career I would still be in the rat race just like 90 percent of Americans. Decided to just start busting my ass hustling, working odd jobs, anything. Ive been in two pretty bad car accidents (not my fault, idiots) very bad head injury and back injury. Which completely changed the my life!! My ways of thinking, huge anxiety/panic attacks, back pain. Ive been taking pills for my anxiety which are off the streets, doctor wont prescribe them to me. I cant get a job, my mother cant help me because she can barely pay for our bills, I need help guys. Doctors tried to help me by putting me in a mental jail freak show for a month. I honestly don't know what to do at this point and seriously considering hanging myself (which I believe in my opinion takes a hell of a lot of will power and balls to do).
I don't want to leave my family like this and I'm hoping someone is out here to help me out in any way you can, please.
Internet panhandling... on a drug forum... that's bright. O.o
You've literally just admitted to putting yourself in that position. I mean, come on. you dropped out of school BY CHOICE, mooched off your parents for 23 years, "can't" work, and now you don't have anything. what did you expect?
And don't feed me any bullshit about being disabled. I knew a guy who was paralyzed from the neck down that decided he was gonna make something of himself so he has a business on the internet doing remote IT work. he uses a special setup that he controls with his mouth to use a computer and he is actually really good at it and makes BANK!
Get lost beggar.
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Not to be mean, but I second that.
Maybe if you post your btc adress I will donate some....
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I swear this sounds exactly like several other scam posts I've seen over the past year. Some guy comes on, says he's depressed, life is harsh, they don't know what to do, they are thinking of killing themselves, and on and on. Then they say something like 'anything you can do to help out would be great'.
It seems to me there are hundreds of better places for someone like this to go for help. About the only thing I can think of that he expects to get from here is he hopes someone is going 'help him out' with some free drugs or BTC.
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I swear this sounds exactly like several other scam posts I've seen over the past year. Some guy comes on, says he's depressed, life is harsh, they don't know what to do, they are thinking of killing themselves, and on and on. Then they say something like 'anything you can do to help out would be great'.
It seems to me there are hundreds of better places for someone like this to go for help. About the only thing I can think of that he expects to get from here is he hopes someone is going 'help him out' with some free drugs or BTC.
Agree, that scam works much better if you join a christian board, become a good poster then give your hard luck story. Tell them you can no longer afford internet and will not be posting any more but you have faith that god will help you. Then post your address for all your christian friends to send letters to, just tell you can get back online.
God provides a lot of cash then.
To the OP, best thing I can tell you is.... I have no advice, I have never had issues like that and telling you to get over it, get out, get a job, and work seems a bit harsh... But the world is not a cozy warm place, it is harsh and you have to learn how to deal with it.
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Yeah, wheat from the chaff.
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Having lost a number of people very close to me to suicide (I hope it's not me.. :-\ :o), and having cut down more than one person who has hung themselves I feel as though I have a right to say this:
Go fuck yourself, taylorgang1.
You're craving attention and you're attempting to get it in an entirely despicable manner by making others feel as though you're going to commit suicide. If you do actually need help, go get it. I understand that it can be hard to see through the haze of depression, but many things you say in your original post suggest that you're simply doing this for attention. However, doing so in a caring community such as this where you know you'll get concerned reactions is absolutely disgusting.
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if you had a choice between killing yourself or confronting your fears, but are already feeling suicidal, then confront your fears. If confronting your fears kill you (which they most likely wont) you will be dead from at least standing up to whatever you're up against which is a noble death. If you survive, you will be a stronger, more confident person.
A question i ask myself when i see homeless people is: "if your life is already that shitty, why not at least try to rob a bank or something?" If you get away with it, then good for you. Fuck those corrupt banks anyways. If you get caught and they put you in jail, are you really worse off than sleeping under a bridge every night?
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Save up some money and start dealing. As long as you keep investing your money and you don't start spending everything you get you should be alright.
What should concern you is the fact that there might not be life after death which means you might just go to sleep and never wake up (without dreaming). This is scaring the shit out of me. Personally I can't accept this, how can I possibly stop existing? These thoughts that I have ,the actions, decisions, the way I talk, I dress and so on. Try to make the most of it, smile if you have fucked up teeth lick pussy if you have a small dick but don't hang yourself!
My point is that death might be worse than we think. I read an article a while ago which was explaining about how the brain developed an system to overcome the anxiety we get from thinking about death.
In my opinion only a weak pussy would kill herself.
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Wow, did not think anyone would comment. Like I said I am a very honest person and wasn't asking for a single bitcoin. I just knew this is anonymous and decided to post how I feel, appreciate the nice support some of you posted(made me feel better). Its really hard living in NY, everything is expensive. I'm going to search on craigslist but honestly I would literally move for work. Any type of work, what ever you want Ill do! You guys can email me.
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I guess in hindsight, there's a reason why 90% of Americans are part of that rat race, huh?
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I'm pretty sure you can be a cripple and still sell drugs. Money isn't that hard to come by. Shit you can come panhandle on these forums, try doing it at the closest gas station. Just might get you a little further
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Wow, did not think anyone would comment. Like I said I am a very honest person and wasn't asking for a single bitcoin. I just knew this is anonymous and decided to post how I feel, appreciate the nice support some of you posted(made me feel better). Its really hard living in NY, everything is expensive. I'm going to search on craigslist but honestly I would literally move for work. Any type of work, what ever you want Ill do! You guys can email me.
Have you considered prostitution?
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Been sifting on these boards for a few weeks now... saw this post so i had to make an account to reply.
Dude, your in a shit space at the moment, i was in your spot about 3 years ago... but worse! Along with all your stuff i was also looking at a jail sentence.
And being a good looking white boy that was not what i wanted... i was gonna top myself too.
What i did after advice from a mate, i signed up for a course to become qualified... no previous qualifications were necessary and it was in a different city.
At my sentencing the judge let me off jail to continue the course just putting restrictions on.
It got me away from all the bad things in my life and i was able to become an new person, meet new people, new surroundings, new adventures.
Life is so good now... im a qualified tradesman, good job, good pay, new friends, new girl.
Bro, if you are in USA i would highly recommend looking to study in Australia, awesome place, heaps of jobs etc.
Study costs will be a bit but usually part of the courses are getting you into a good job and they will allow working visa for you to stay on and live etc.
Do some googleing mate, there is an awesome world outside!
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plus one on going to australia. i moved there when i was 15 because i'm diabetic and i couldn't get insurance (i would ahve had to pay like 2200 dollars a month just to not die). granted i moved back to america when i was 20 (for a chick) (bad idea)
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Wow, did not think anyone would comment. Like I said I am a very honest person and wasn't asking for a single bitcoin. I just knew this is anonymous and decided to post how I feel, appreciate the nice support some of you posted(made me feel better). Its really hard living in NY, everything is expensive. I'm going to search on craigslist but honestly I would literally move for work. Any type of work, what ever you want Ill do! You guys can email me.
Have you considered prostitution?
Hahaha,,,lime you made my day!! ;D ;D
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I bet you guys are thinking its a scam but Im serious. I appreciate all your advice and since hurricane just hit I need to help out my fam more than myself so if any of you that are wealthy on bitcoins please donate to my address,
1GY6hKHDRgbxDUXi5tbrNvXVPT6692xmfy
Thank you guys and im deff not gonna stop and fight thru my benzo withdrawls which most of you know are 10000x worse than herion.
Thank you,
Vitaly
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Get a job to help out your family fucker. how are you going to help your family with bitcoins? you can only buy drugs with bitcoins which is exactly what you want... drugs... earn your own damn money like the rest of us.
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hey perky
cured off your ALL already?
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this seems just like the other post about the guy whos got cancer? same sort of scam?
anyway, Im sorry if its all true, but perhaps this isnt the best place to get help.
Any anyone who gives a depressant person talking about taking their own life money to buy drugs is a fuckign idiot. Drugs are not the answer.
if its true, go see a real life Councillor.
if its a scam. get a fucking life.
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If you desperately need money to help your family then sell whatever device you are using to post your bullshit begging trips.
Or stick it up your ass and die.
Either way; your family wins.
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If you desperately need money to help your family then sell whatever device you are using to post your bullshit begging trips.
Or stick it up your ass and die.
Either way; your family wins.
Your humor is so dark it could pick cotton ;D