Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: John Keats on January 21, 2012, 03:14 am
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Hey SR.
I'm struggling with some really serious depression right now. A lot of things have converged onto me all at one time and the stress/pressure/dissatisfaction have made me contemplate just giving up on all my obligations and even committing suicide.
Anyone have some good advice on how to deal with this? Perhaps a drug that I won't become dependant on? Are drugs even an effective remedy? I don't want to simply "drown out" my problems with booze or acid or such.
Your affectionate friend,
John Keats
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I point you to RapidImprovement's Methoxetamine Thread: http://dkn255hz262ypmii.onion/index.php?topic=5066.0
Methoxetamine might be what you're looking for, read through the thread and feel free to ask questions. Suicide is never the answer and I hope you know that. Good luck!
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How do you drown out your problems with acid? Most people work through their problems on LSD! You mean they actually come back after you do acid? Then I would say you probably have an actual case of clinical depression, and most people diagnosed surely don't.
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A high quality SATIVA dominant weed strain is what you want my friend
It's natural, less harmful than booze or tobacco, non-physically addicting, no real side effects, help you sleep, chill you out and take away the anguish
I've been using weed for medicinal rather than recreational for a while now.
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also look up αMT. This brought me back from the brink of the void.
Then again, most psychedelics should give you a comfortable headspace for self re-evaluation.
αMT worked well for me in that it was 12 hours of absolute clarity of thought and intent.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a powerful 'mind tool' if you take it seriously, and are guided by a psychiatrist. Its basically a way of understanding how your mind processes thoughts and behaviors induced by those thoughts. In an almost 'meditative' like sense there are way's to deflect the cognition modal your brain is undergoing and sort of 'short-circuit' the thought cycle (typically depression is the result of a cycle of thoughts that keep progressing worse and worse). It has actually given me some measure of usefulness considering it only requires your mind.
The reuptake inhibitors aren't necessarily addictive. It's quite easy to get off them if you taper the dose down over a week or two. The problems people typically assign to withdrawal are actually just the effects of the depression resuming. Usually a doc will switch you, where you taper one dose down of the one you're getting off of and taper up the new one. You become dependent on them, but only in the sense that you're taking a a drug to maintain whatever neurological equilibrium the drug has established in your brain to mitigate the symptoms of depression. People take thyroid drugs their whole life to maintain an equilibrium in hormones, I see no reason for anyone to think that anti-depressant's should be treated any differently. Depression is a real, physical disease of the brain.
Personally I wouldn't drown myself in dissociative/psychedelics/etc. If you have REAL clinical depression then the problem will still be there when you sober up. Anti-depressants are designed to level out an imbalance caused by the disease and hit it at it's source. I'm not saying they work for everyone but there is utility in researching anti-depressants.
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No meds have worked for me, and I've been on at least ten since i was fifteen. I'm probably going to kill myself soon because this feeling is inescapable.
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No meds have worked for me, and I've been on at least ten since i was fifteen. I'm probably going to kill myself soon because this feeling is inescapable.
I know exactly where you're at, I took prolly about 15 or so myself and was just f ... fuck. I was fortunate to find one that has given me some measure of success but I feel for you not having any success, I wen't many years in the situation you're in and its terrible, but just dont give up.
It comes down to I guess whether you want to treat your depression by altering your sense of reality (by taking psychedelics like MXE on a regular basis) or by trying to maintain your 'sense of self' (i'm sorry I can't think of words to describe what I mean). That's a moral choice you'll have to make.
I'm on a freakishly parallel predicament with your own. I have 'daily chronic migraines' (as well as the depression lol) and not a single thing has helped this condition except weed so far. I cant smoke a bowl every 20 minutes and too expensive to make my own edibles from premium bud so I am looking at exotic solutions like MXE most specifically (I want some to try it pretty badly).
It definitely never hurts to try any of the drugs people have recommended here, and this has been a super informative thread, just make sure you evaluate whether you want to rely on an altered state on a long term basis from a chemical that we've yet had barely any research on mid to long term effects of. I know what it's like to be at the end of your rope man and if you cant find any pharma that helps, then I would say definitely cautiously dabble in some of the suggestions provided. It's always better to be cautious with hallucinogens if you have true clinical depression until you've taken it once or twice. Just lookin out :).
Did your docs give you mostly just SSRI's? I know many people who have found S(N|D)RI (eg. wellbutrin), SNRI (cymbalta, effexor) to give them superior results to those that just target serotonin modulation.
I wish you the best man, take whatever you need, including drug induced soul searching if required, that can be monumental in treating depression itself.
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Just a friendly little warning about SSRI's; They *can* help with depression, but their side effects, mainly drowsiness, weight gain, and loss of libido (sex drive) can make your situation even worse. Also, withdrawal from them can be worse than the actual depression itself.
A high quality SATIVA dominant weed strain is what you want my friend
It's natural, less harmful than booze or tobacco, non-physically addicting, no real side effects, help you sleep, chill you out and take away the anguish
I've been using weed for medicinal rather than recreational for a while now.
^ That man speaks the truth.
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I'm struggling with some really serious depression right now. A lot of things have converged onto me all at one time and the stress/pressure/dissatisfaction have made me contemplate just giving up on all my obligations and even committing suicide.
Anyone have some good advice on how to deal with this? Perhaps a drug that I won't become dependant on? Are drugs even an effective remedy? I don't want to simply "drown out" my problems with booze or acid or such.
Try yoga. Don't laugh, I'm serious. It won't solve your problems, but it's amazing how it can enable you to at least put them out of your mind for an hour, and sometimes a temporary reprieve from all the bullshit is all it takes in order to uncover a new approach for dealing with it.
Worked for me, anyway. No matter how shitty I was feeling, if I could just convince myself to get to the damn studio and practice, I'd always leave feeling better.
Good luck.
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Just a friendly little warning about SSRI's; They *can* help with depression, but their side effects, mainly drowsiness, weight gain, and loss of libido (sex drive) can make your situation even worse. Also, withdrawal from them can be worse than the actual depression itself.
I took Celexa for years and I thought it was effective and I didn't have any of those side effects. I'm not taking it now and I don't currently feel a return of my depression, so I'll see how it goes.
rusty
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You're right couchman, they can induce unwanted and sometimes unacceptable side effects (I can't take ANY SSRI class drugs cuz I can't get/maintain an erection).
Some people also never experience any side effects, so that's why I just suggest he explore it. Anything you can do to treat depression is a good thing.
Yoga is an excellent option as well a_blackbird, no reason to laugh at all. It releases endorphins throughout your body, and besides any exercise is very helpful with depression. I don't do yoga but understand enough that it can put you into a mild meditative state as you said, which is very helpful with dealing.
Meditation itself is also a great form of 'escape' and 'collection' (of thought's, emotions, etc.) and is difficult to achieve but there are many easily accessible texts on techniques that teach you how to reach deeper meditation states which after a while becomes easy to get to, I would look into it.
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No meds have worked for me, and I've been on at least ten since i was fifteen. I'm probably going to kill myself soon because this feeling is inescapable.
I know exactly where you're at, I took prolly about 15 or so myself and was just f ... fuck. I was fortunate to find one that has given me some measure of success but I feel for you not having any success, I wen't many years in the situation you're in and its terrible, but just dont give up.
It comes down to I guess whether you want to treat your depression by altering your sense of reality (by taking psychedelics like MXE on a regular basis) or by trying to maintain your 'sense of self' (i'm sorry I can't think of words to describe what I mean). That's a moral choice you'll have to make.
I'm on a freakishly parallel predicament with your own. I have 'daily chronic migraines' (as well as the depression lol) and not a single thing has helped this condition except weed so far. I cant smoke a bowl every 20 minutes and too expensive to make my own edibles from premium bud so I am looking at exotic solutions like MXE most specifically (I want some to try it pretty badly).
It definitely never hurts to try any of the drugs people have recommended here, and this has been a super informative thread, just make sure you evaluate whether you want to rely on an altered state on a long term basis from a chemical that we've yet had barely any research on mid to long term effects of. I know what it's like to be at the end of your rope man and if you cant find any pharma that helps, then I would say definitely cautiously dabble in some of the suggestions provided. It's always better to be cautious with hallucinogens if you have true clinical depression until you've taken it once or twice. Just lookin out :).
Did your docs give you mostly just SSRI's? I know many people who have found S(N|D)RI (eg. wellbutrin), SNRI (cymbalta, effexor) to give them superior results to those that just target serotonin modulation.
I wish you the best man, take whatever you need, including drug induced soul searching if required, that can be monumental in treating depression itself.
I've been on SSRIs, TCAs, SNRIs, antipsychotics. I'm really, really tired. I'm considering ECT, my memory is already terrible as it is so why not, I guess.
And yeah, the medication's side effects blow. I don't really do hallucinogens because I don't know what else they will trigger in me, considering that i have had some pretty frightening psychotic episodes in the past. For now I just do opiates to numb things and I'm prescribed benzos to keep the panic attacks down a little.
Oh, and ditto on the migraines.
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sometimes you have to weigh out the possibility that your depression may never go away or be cured vs. the risk that you may become dependent on a drug. For me i'm dependent on opiates, and i've decided i'd rather be addicted to something and be happy than live with dehibilitating depression.
most drugs will worsen your depression. At least thats how it is for me. I don't really like smoking weed, because it seems that it both makes me aware of how depressed i really am, and makes me even more depressed the following day. alcohol is also a depressant and while it can numb you of your depression, it can also amplify it. Many people say just getting outside and getting excersise is something that helps.
don't kill yourself. that's what 'the powers that be' want you to do.
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I think a lot of us are stuck in deep places... I see my depression in a lot of the people I hang out with. We're all just sort of thrown into the mix without much guidance... and the "guidance" we get growing up... mostly from the tv has no substance. I'm not happy with my life situatuion, but I feel to trapped and don't see a way out that I can still be close to the people I love. I'd like to run awway... but I don't have the balls.
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The reuptake inhibitors aren't necessarily addictive. It's quite easy to get off them if you taper the dose down over a week or two. The problems people typically assign to withdrawal are actually just the effects of the depression resuming. Usually a doc will switch you, where you taper one dose down of the one you're getting off of and taper up the new one. You become dependent on them, but only in the sense that you're taking a a drug to maintain whatever neurological equilibrium the drug has established in your brain to mitigate the symptoms of depression. People take thyroid drugs their whole life to maintain an equilibrium in hormones, I see no reason for anyone to think that anti-depressant's should be treated any differently. Depression is a real, physical disease of the brain.
SSRI withdrawal effects are definitely real. I have experienced them, as have thousands of other people. Extreme dizziness, nausea, and brain zaps are not signs of depression resuming. There really haven't been enough studies done to conclusively claim that SSRIs are harmless and have no serious side effects or dependency issues.
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This is the worst place on Earth to ask about depression. Go to a psychiatrist if you actually want to get better. Anything else is a temporary solution INCLUDING weed. Most people wont tell you that, but there, I did. Unless your depressed because of a girlfriend or something stupid, then smoke some weed. But REAL clinical depression, go to the doctor. Don't listen to any of these fuckers or you'll end up killing yourself.
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Exercise...Run or Lift weights.
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I think a lot of us are stuck in deep places... I see my depression in a lot of the people I hang out with. We're all just sort of thrown into the mix without much guidance... and the "guidance" we get growing up... mostly from the tv has no substance. I'm not happy with my life situatuion, but I feel to trapped and don't see a way out that I can still be close to the people I love. I'd like to run awway... but I don't have the balls.
I agree with this completely. Society is extremely alienating.
Also: Doublemint is right, but what do you do when you've exhausted all of those options already?
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take the lemons life is giving you and make some lemonade. in other words take those thoughts that depression is giving you and turn it into art. pick up a paintbrush or write some poetry or try to learn music. Some of the best artists are those who've learned how to harness the depression life throws at them and transform that ugliness into something meaningful.
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I had the same problem for a few years. Exercise and psychedelics fixed my depression for the most part. Try DMT if you haven't already, and hit the gym. Weed is always good to.
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Exercise...Run or Lift weights.
yes, this is the trick.
the key is to fill your mind with activity. Have you ever noticed that your mind can only think of one thing at a time? Try playing a word game, really concentrate on it - and also try reciting words to an Aerosmith song at the same time. It's pretty hard.
find something you can call a real hobby. Find something you are passionate about. I find it counter productive to be passionate about depression forums since I see that a lot of people will sit in front of the computer and think think think about depression. Some people make depression their hobby.
This might be extreme but I've never thought about being depressed while sexting. . .
the only time that depression will seep into your mind are the times your mind is not filled with something else. Make yourself busy - that is the only long term cure.