Silk Road forums
Discussion => Off topic => Topic started by: Suicide on December 04, 2012, 07:04 am
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Hello all.
I've been a regular buyer on the Silk Road for a while now. But I'll skip the small talk and get to the point. Without getting into details, I just lost someone in my life that I really can't live without. Point being, I am ready to die and join them in whatever comes next. I'd appreciate it if we could skip the usual "don't commit suicide, things get better!" posts. I am a libertarian as many of you are, so I hope you appreciate my right to end my life when I so choose. I really have nothing to live for at this point, and I truly feel prepared to die.
The one problem is that I am scared of dying in fear or pain. I am hoping that you valuable members of the Silk Road community may have some good suggestions. Maybe there is a certain drug that is best to overdose on that will not hurt? Or some other painless way of death? If there is something I need to purchase, that is fine, money will not be an issue since I obviously won't be needing it anymore.
Like I said, I'd rather this not turn into a lecture about how I should keep on living. No one is dependent on me, and I have lost all hope since this person died, so I am content and have accepted my death. Thanks for any suggestions that come my way.
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... Yea, and if you are even remotely Christian suicide = automatic trip to hell, no chance for heaven no matter how good you have been. Christian or not, do you really think that person that would want you to kill yourself because of them, and then have your death affect those around you as well?
Just stick it out. I've been through hell and back bud, I know what position you are in even if you don't think I know. Don't do it.
Edit: PM me if you want help. Don't kill yourself just because of this.
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If money's not an object, splodin your head is the best bet.
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Shit man, there's so much to live for. For your sake, I hope you're at least attempting to remedy the situation and are removing yourself from the environment causing you this pain. Losing someone close to you shouldn't be a death sentence for yourself.
I'm very open to the idea of suicide, especially in cases of terminal illness. But this... seems like terrible justification for wanting to kill yourself. At the very least, it will have effects on family and acquaintances around you, whether you want to believe it or not.
Enough "small talk" though, here's how you'd want to do it:
I disagree with the phenobarbital recommendation, as I'm pretty sure its slow onset would make dying on it quite uncomfortable. Actual barbiturates are probably the "A" standard and basically what they use for lethal injections, but they're almost impossible to find nowadays.
The Darvon Cocktail ingredients (Dextropropoxyphene combined with slow and fast-acting benzos) are all sold on the SR, and although a somewhat drawn-out process as well, it seems like a viable option:
Antiemetic drugs must be taken beforehand
Dextropropoxyphene HCl (Darvon, Deprancol, Depronal): 3.5 grams
Midazolam (Dormicum): 300 mg
Diazepam (Valium): 300 mg
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How can you guys be opposed to him killing himself, yet you guys tell him exactly how to do it? You guys shouldn't be telling him what kills him, even if it is his right to die. Yeah, even if you don't tell him, he'll find the information somewhere else or just settling down for the ol' noose, but maybe not telling him could buy him some time to rethink it. You never know...
It hurts me for someone to give up their life. Animals and people aren't wired to commit suicide, it's a disease, which means he can get better.
Please don't do it, bro...
I know it's your right to die, nobody is stopping, just trying to help. please try talking it over with somebody, first. Go see a docter or something dude.
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8) [REDACTED]
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I am sorry for your loss and sorry that you are in so much pain, hope you can find a way out of the bad place where you are now ...
But Festivalia is right, there is no guarantee you will see your friend again - no guarantee.
You don't say how old you are or how much living you've done. Are your parents still alive? What about siblings? If you check out, they will have to clean up the mess. And they will carry this burden forever. If your mother is still alive she will probably blame herself for your suicide. Have you thought about that at all? Do you want your family to pick up your pain and carry it around forever??
I wish you well, friend and hope you can find another way back - the people here will help you if there is nobody you trust IRL ~ :-*
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Goddamnit, I say not to lecture me and then you all do anyways. Stop being so caring Silk Road forums! I know, I know, suicide is a temporay solution, etc. etc. For the record, it wasn't just a "friend," it was my fiancee, and frankly I've been drunk all nightg now, so maybe I won't do it when I'm sober, who knows. I think I need to take some mdma and tlak to a friend while on it and work some shit out. Thanks anyways. Suicide OOUUUTTT
Fuckng captcha is making this harder than it needs to be.
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yes you should just talk to your best friends and try to sort it out.
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Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
So true and the one and only reason one should not do this, since you cannot regret once you did.
Fuckng captcha is making this harder than it needs to be.
sounds like the captcha is a real life saver :)
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You know what pisses me off? All the retardery about "Lol, hell... etc... life is worth living!"
Look, if someone is wanting to off themselves, they will do it , period. Trying to reason with someone who feels this way is pointless.... sort of. I have no fucking idea what I am saying. And I cannot give any life-saving (Or death-giving) advice. All i can say is, like every other human animal on this shit-world, I feel ya.
OP, you mention a loved one. I will say this without preaching... live for them. Honor their life by living yours, no matter how much it hurts. You will have all eternity with them (All religious BULLSHIT aside here). Dude, you're part of the fucking universe. As was/is the person you lost. So, really, you didnt lose them. They just melted into the background. You'll see them. I mean, again without trying to sound all faggy here, they are not really "gone". You just cant see them. Remember, universe. Energy cannot be destroyed, etc. Your love for this person, and theirs for you, will echo for all time.
... I should really edit this. It probably sounds really stupid. But you know what? It's from the heart.
There is no sense is trying to bring logic into the emotional state.
... or something. Man I really need to bowl pack. :/
Edit: Solution - Loads of drugs, leap off a building. Splat.Quick. End.
ALSO , what really confuses me is this, people want to die due to hurt. They want relief, but relief cannot be had if you're dead. Also, yeah... suicide... thought about it many of time. G.L.
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I would support a death that is completely and directly fueled by curiosity rather than sadness.
Anyone anywhere can die at any moment. Life is so fragile yet we walk around with misguided notions that nothing randomly fatal will happen to us. We walk around constantly on a cusp-edge of the greatest mystery in Nature; death. I think the meaning of life is having a sense of Purpose, those who do not feel this have a void they will fill with activities, substances, relationships, careers, religions or anything that will give them a sense of being needed or reason they are living. The easiest of this is becoming a parent. I don't think there is a fear of death, but there is a fear of having to accept Purpose as an illusion. It might be through death that we really find the true Purpose of our lives.
Or we may not. Could just be a dark dirt nap.
TL;DR - Don't do it OP unless it is for science!
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how about fist fucking yourself off a cliff, that might help fs this thread is a load of balls :L
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Don't forget the pain you feel because of this loss is the exact pain you will be passing on to any loved ones you have. What if they respond to your death in the same way. How many in your close circle will die if suicide is the answer. Just something to think about. Maybe you can be the strong link and stop the deaths. Worth a shot. Just live a carefree fuck it life now. could be liberating.
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As long as you have thought it out and have taken care of all the angles. Just don't do it on the spur of the moment. Talk to someone, give it a few days, see how you feel then...
~Flush
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Surprised no one has mentioned this yet but there is something called a helium hood that I looked into when I was thinking about ending it...Its quick and painless and there is no room for mistakes, ie; ending up braindead instead of dead. They are now illegal in US though.
I would like to create an echo here and just say think more about it, the people who love you and care about you, think of them, suicide is an incredibly selfish act.
Take care friend and here's to brighter days ahead if you can just hang in there.
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Don't forget the pain you feel because of this loss is the exact pain you will be passing on to any loved ones you have. What if they respond to your death in the same way. How many in your close circle will die if suicide is the answer. Just something to think about. Maybe you can be the strong link and stop the deaths. Worth a shot. Just live a carefree fuck it life now. could be liberating.
This is perfect. Please consider what wetdog has said. There are other people that love you and will love you in your future that you haven't even met yet. They have a lot to offer you too, and as wetdog said be the strong link in the chain.
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Please don't kill yourself, I love you :(
But seriously man, you've lost someone you love, we all have...
Think about all the other people you love and how this will effect them, do you want them to feel like you do now?
Suicide destroyed my family, it's a selfish act.
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8) [REDACTED]
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How can you guys be opposed to him killing himself, yet you guys tell him exactly how to do it?
Respect.
OP, I'm not going to presume to know what you're going through. I have lost a couple of people to suicide, though, with (in retrospect) a fairly clear view of what drove them to it, and also (knowing their siblings, their friends, today) having a pretty good idea of the life they had a shot at if they stuck around, and I will re-state what some others have said about this being a permanent solution to a - very, very likely - temporary problem. It's your pain. You decide when a better future, even if it were guaranteed, is no longer worth enduring the present. What I do want to emphasize, though, is that it is overwhelmingly likely that a happier future awaits you if you do decide to stick it out. It's up to you, but my hope is that you find it.
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Speaking as someone who doesn't value my own life much. You will die anyway. Nature will kill you so no need to do it yourself. Just wait and it will happen on it's own. In the mean time just do some drugs, party, do whatever the hell you want and just remember you will die anyway!!!
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YAY :D! He was drunk! Seriously though bro, I'm really glad you're rethinking your decision. I've had suicidal thoughts, life sucks i know, and I'm very very sorry for your loss man. But hold on, go ahead do your drugs, live your life to the fullest. Just don't do anything rash.
And doesn't MDMA cause depression afterwards for a couple of days? If so I'd avoid it. I agree with those who said smoke DMT, it helps to see things in different light.
Here at SR we're a family and we love you :)
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Hello all.
I've been a regular buyer on the Silk Road for a while now. But I'll skip the small talk and get to the point. Without getting into details, I just lost someone in my life that I really can't live without. Point being, I am ready to die and join them in whatever comes next. I'd appreciate it if we could skip the usual "don't commit suicide, things get better!" posts. I am a libertarian as many of you are, so I hope you appreciate my right to end my life when I so choose. I really have nothing to live for at this point, and I truly feel prepared to die.
The one problem is that I am scared of dying in fear or pain. I am hoping that you valuable members of the Silk Road community may have some good suggestions. Maybe there is a certain drug that is best to overdose on that will not hurt? Or some other painless way of death? If there is something I need to purchase, that is fine, money will not be an issue since I obviously won't be needing it anymore.
Like I said, I'd rather this not turn into a lecture about how I should keep on living. No one is dependent on me, and I have lost all hope since this person died, so I am content and have accepted my death. Thanks for any suggestions that come my way.
hmm been thinking about this as well.. dont have soulotion...
overdosing could suck cuz if u live you will be all fucked up and on suicide watch...
maybe suicide by cop.. have it on the news or sum...idk man.. its hard.. i thought about jumping off a huge building while on acid speed and heroin...maybe some x..
seem legit..
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I would only wholeheartedly support someone's decision to die if they were in horrible physical pain due to illness or irreversible injury, or if they were a vegetable and left specific instructions to be unplugged in that case.
But you're not. So I don't. Instead, live and feel that pain of loss as thoroughly as you can, it will make you feel life all the more.
I wish you well.
goblin
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Oh look, another troll thread.
Why is it that these people only post once?, attention.
Sorry if i sound cold but, our lives are NOT ours to take. Life is the greatest gift of all and should be treated as such. Enjoy whatever experiences you choose, and, as spock said, live long and prosper.
To be perfectly honest, suicide is a cowards way out, stay the distance, live the journey. It might be a painful one, but if you die, how the fuck will you know what may happen tomorrow.
You may fall in love all over again, but if you end it all, you will never get to know.
Harsh, brutal?, maybe, but that is how i feel, and, to the point.
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just shoot yourself in the head fast and painless; no lecture not to do it it's your life/choice
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Your fiancee would not have wanted you to die. I've been very close to suicide, once after a breakup I took a shit ton of Xanax and tried to hang myself, but it REALLY FUCKING HURT, so I gave up and went to bed. I thank fucking God every day I didn't do that. To think of what it would have done to my family. And now 3 years later I've met a much better woman. It's not possible to believe sometimes but shit WILL get better. You just have to get through it. Remember your first relationship in middle school or high school or whatever, where 2 weeks in you talk about getting married and having babies and shit? Then it turns out you totally jumped the gun and find out there are other, better women out there for you? Killing yourself over a fiancee is that short-sightedness to the ultimate extreme.
Suicide is not only a selfish act, it's a bizarre one. You are in a twisted state of mind any time you contemplate suicide. You CAN live without her, it will take time but it will happen.
I know you said not to lecture you in your OP, but tough shit. What do you think it means that damn near every poster on here did just that? It means you're not in your right state of mind. Don't do it, and you probably shouldn't be getting drunk right now. It'll make you do dumb shit (like send humiliating emails).
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http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion/silkroad/item/62806edf01
I recommend IVing for a fast and certain death.
Goodbye OP.
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I seriously know the feeling. But I think you should rethink about this in 1, maybe 2 years from now.
I don't think it is really possible to die from smoking dmt. You'd trip and let the bong fall way before that, or get sick or something.
I've tried it with a combination of heroin, coke, ghb, alcohol, xtc, speed, ketamine, valium. To get totally wasted and not feel any pain.
Ended up lying in bed, puking and shitting all over myself and not being able to stand up anymore.
Result: well I don;t want to think about it, but probably some internal organs don't like me so much anymore after that. And it scarred many people for life.
Not sure I agree with that our lives are not ours to take. I mean, who else does? And why would you live in ultra pain with no glow in the future anymore because of sickness?
And who sais that if you kill yourself, you'd join them in any way? Maybe you'll just be reincarnated in a different setting, with the same problems. Because you didn't overcome it this time...?
Get through this, be strong. Think about it again in a few years. I hope you can do that, and that you'll think differently by then.
Good luck.
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http://silkroadvb5piz3r.onion/silkroad/item/62806edf01
I recommend IVing for a fast and certain death.
Goodbye OP.
I don't understand what I'm looking at. All I see is a perfectly legitimate product used by millions of electroplating enthusiasts like myself.
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please read what I'm about to say...
I think you should reconsider you options because there is a very big chance of not being able to see that person again after death.
Your screen might just turn black and you will stop existing. You would feel better helping your fiance to live through the memories you have and recall.
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I know you said not to lecture but to talk and think about suicide in my opinion is just the flat out wrong decision.. In my life I have been close to two different people that have committed suicide, one was family and the other a friend. Suicide is just a short term fix for you that turns into a life long pain for your family and friends. Just think it over, but I 100% agree it is your choice. I hope you the best, this bowl pack is for OP.
Hope you go to better places, and see familiar faces
AyKay
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I've felt like killing myself too op. Back in February I started feeling shitty, so from Feb-May I spent a lot of time researching suicide. As far as drugs go, Barbiturates are your best bet, followed by a darvon cocktail or lethal amount of some opiate. I've also heard good things about the helium hood/tank. Look up Jerry Hunt if you go this route, he posted a very well put together documentary/how to before using it to take his own life. If you find yourself unable to procure any of the drugs/gas tank, there's the hibachi/barbecue method. Light a few small portable charcoal grills in a small room and seal it airtight. You'll drift off slowly to the ferryman as the oxygen slowly gets sucked out of the room and your brain/lungs fill with deadly but o
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:-X [REDACTED]
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I'm only guessing (obviously) but I'd imagine after your heart officially stops beating and you die, your mind will continue to function for about a minute... due to the remaining oxygen in the blood.
Then you will start to get tunnel-vision as it slowly goes black. In that minute is when your life will flash before your eyes. It's probably a pretty euphoric experience - the body releasing all the dopamine, adrenaline, etc all at once. But then, after it goes black, your mind/ conscience/ sense of self will cease to exist. And you will no longer have any thoughts of your fiance or any other memories for that matter. You cease to be... so it would be pretty pointless, in my opinion.
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I'm only guessing (obviously) but I'd imagine after your heart officially stops beating and you die, your mind will continue to function for about a minute... due to the remaining oxygen in the blood.
Then you will start to get tunnel-vision as it slowly goes black. In that minute is when your life will flash before your eyes. It's probably a pretty euphoric experience - the body releasing all the dopamine, adrenaline, etc all at once. But then, after it goes black, your mind/ conscience/ sense of self will cease to exist. And you will no longer have any thoughts of your fiance or any other memories for that matter. You cease to be... so it would be pretty pointless, in my opinion.
This!
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Be careful if you try the barbeque method though... I heard that if you do it wrong, and you live through it, you could end up being a hotdog for the rest of your life!
That's not just a hibachi risk though, virtually any method leaves some risk of screwing up and being a vegetable. Hibachi you have to take into account the size of the room, getting the air mix just right, etc. The only failsafe suicide method is to just kill (figuratively) the part of yourself that's depressed. If you're willing to put all the effort into planning your demise, take even 1/4 of that effort to just improve your life. I'm not religious at all, but you only have one chance at life, and odds are killing yourself won't reunite you with your fiancee. If a single religion with an afterlife is right, you two will be in opposite places forever. Is that a risk you want to take, considering you're trying to see them again? Take a few weeks and then some to give yourself time to fully think this through. Go see The Hobbit when it comes out, there are hordes of deceased Tolkien fans that would gladly trade your life for theirs. Pick a release date for some book, movie, game, tv show, music album that's coming out in the near future and at least let yourself experience one more thing that might turn it around for you before you end it. There's a wealth of information out there if you can't be swayed to not bring about your demise, but everyone here is more than happy to help you talk it out and work through your issues if you decide you really just need some support and a non-judgemental place to vent.
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Go see The Hobbit when it comes out, there are hordes of deceased Tolkien fans that would gladly trade your life for theirs.
Plus one for you mate, i literally lold when i read that.
I myself am really looking forward to the movie, but i wouldnt exchange a life for it lol.
Just a little change of subject however, how many people wanted to kill themselves after watching the Lord of the Rings?? ! :P
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Not the recent films, those were excellent and overall Peter Jackson did as good a job he could, and most of his deviations from the book are at least coherent enough for those who don't know better especially. Have you ever seen the animated version of Fellowship/Two Towers? That scene between Gandalf and Sauron at Isengard made me question if someone had secretly slipped me lsd.
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The unfinished animated version (they ran out of budget) that was released very poorly onto VHS, I thought was excellent. It was a far cry from the boring hash that peter jackson made.
I give you that he could only do the best he had to work with, and the effects WERE amazing, he just decided to copy most of the books TO THE LETTER. And, let us be honest, reading the books are a fucking chore.
I tried twice over the past few years to read the trilogy and i always get stopped at the same place.
Where Gollum is slowly following the hobbits behind.
And if i recall i stopped at exactly the same page.
The animated version was superior in every way, action, voice acting especially casting John Hurt as Aragorn, that idea was just pure genius.
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This is the last place that I expected this calibre of support for someone in this position and frankly I'm pleasantly surprised (that's not queer right?). Anyway, whatever. It's been a few days now so if you're out there Suicide give us some closure on this topic and tell us you thought about what the others said and decided not to do it. Otherwise we might think otherwise, and that would not be good.
Lot of frankness on this thread RE peopl's experiences with suicide. Not going into MY life, but I'm glad others did. Thumbs up. When I get to 100 I'm going to come back to this thread and give every fucking one (nearly) +3 Karma. Hands down this has been the least bitchiest thread yet. Well fucking done. :) (If you say I'm gay though (or a shemale) for writing this I'll give you a goddamn throat smiley....)
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You can all rest easy, I'm alive and recovering. Thanks for the support. Took some nice MDMA from Silk Road, talked to a friend, recovered a little. I'll keep it going. Peace.
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You can all rest easy, I'm alive and recovering. Thanks for the support. Took some nice MDMA from Silk Road, talked to a friend, recovered a little. I'll keep it going. Peace.
Glad to hear you're in a better mindset and on the right track to feeling better. Sometimes all you need to feel better are a nice drug fueled evening and a good friend to talk things over with.
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You can all rest easy, I'm alive and recovering. Thanks for the support. Took some nice MDMA from Silk Road, talked to a friend, recovered a little. I'll keep it going. Peace.
If I may, here's a big hug for you [BIG hug]
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Thanks for posting you are ok. Sometimes it feels like there is no one who cares, but the truth is their is many. Glad to hear some nice MDMA hit the spot, just remember that you may feel pretty shit after you come down. Don't get caught in a nasty spiral of drug use to feel good. Get out and exercise, find a good therapist (can do wonders).... just hold onto the good thoughts and let go of the bad. Suicide is pretty unfair, I resent the people around me who went that way.... and I respect the people who lived through the desire... Nice one bruv. Keep on living and find new reasons to breath.
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You can all rest easy, I'm alive and recovering. Thanks for the support. Took some nice MDMA from Silk Road, talked to a friend, recovered a little. I'll keep it going. Peace.
Aaaaaaaayyyy!!! S U I C I D E, WB (welcome back) mate! :) :) :) Good to see you back, though I have no idea who you are. Anytime you feel pissed off just take some uppers from SR and hang out with some friends and do some memorable stuff. Or what else works, get moderately intoxicated and see a movie. I did that with Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith and it made it a lot better! I saw it again with another friend the next week while sober and it seemed lacking. We all get stressed. We all get pissed. We all get abused some way. We all need downtime to get back to normal again.
Thanks for posting you are ok. Sometimes it feels like there is no one who cares, but the truth is their is many. Glad to hear some nice MDMA hit the spot, just remember that you may feel pretty shit after you come down.
This is true. TY for having the balls to be honest about a hard subject to talk about. And it was good that everyone who posted was pretty supportive; some people can do the opposite with negative remarks.... with tragic consequences.
Suicide is pretty unfair, I resent the people around me who went that way.... and I respect the people who lived through the desire...
I've never understood how one might think that, I know a lot of people do and I can't figure it out. Some even think it's selfish. Or weak. I don't because I get suicide and believe you me you cannot be weak when the moment comes, you have to have a certain iron will. But like someone else said above, there's a chance the "screen will go blank and there'll be nothing." No one's died and come back to tell us there's a heaven. Or anything. It hit me the other day like a tonne of bricks -- what if there is no afterlife? So then I decided I was going to make the most of it. Because you never know when you'll go, and what will happen after.
Good to hear from you anyhow. Drive safely. Don't forget to eat (always happens when you're at the computer). Piece out.
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I lost my partner and there were many days I came close to end my life. I want to reach out to you and tell you that I know it is really heartbreaking what you are going through. It is very important to take good care of yourself: cry when you need to cry, go back to bed and shut the world out when it is too much and if you would enjoy something; give it to yourself. Honour and remember your loved one in any way you like. Share and be honest with your friends.
For me, it did get better. I miss him every day, I was very blessed to have this wonderful love in my life and I know I am making him proud. Wishing you lots of strength and love. You can do it, even when you doubt yourself.
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Thanks for posting you are ok. Sometimes it feels like there is no one who cares, but the truth is their is many. Glad to hear some nice MDMA hit the spot, just remember that you may feel pretty shit after you come down. Don't get caught in a nasty spiral of drug use to feel good. Get out and exercise, find a good therapist (can do wonders).... just hold onto the good thoughts and let go of the bad. Suicide is pretty unfair, I resent the people around me who went that way.... and I respect the people who lived through the desire... Nice one bruv. Keep on living and find new reasons to breath.
You know why it feels like there is no one who cares? Because t.v, media and any other bullshit corporation in charge of showing crap to society has made you feel that it is okay to be alone, that you shouldnt do this, shouldnt do that. In the end the human soul will scream out for companionship.
What i say to that, fuck it. Reach out to your fellow man. I hope this thread has proved that people out there do care. Get out there, party, make friends. For me making friends is the most important thing.
There are endless things you can do to make you feel better about yourself.
I have been there before mate and i understand. Although i was lucky enough to find a job that changed my life, i urge you to go out there and find the things that will make you a happier person.
The only person in control of your life is you, no one else.
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Shit, go overdose on heroin then. It's virtually painless and before you know it-you're a goner. But hey don't take my advice.
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@ typtap, so i totally don't want anybody to do this, and it is good to see the OP getting on with his life, but i saw yer original post of doing some DMT and the physical world becomes a mere side-thought...
Well this got me thinking and say your choice of poison was to OD on DMT.... i know it takes a lot, but what if you injected enough DMT to OD ...=P terrible or wonderful way to go you feeling me =P
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hahah most of us psychonauts are quite alike aren't we??? and maybe that's because we have one common connection...HYPERSPACE....I know you know 8) ....the moment when you become one with everything and anything that has existed and ever will exist... yeah that moment hahahahah
love seeing fella travelers
peace and love brotha!
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Well Cheers to you typtap!
+1 for being a cool dude!
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Wish i could be a fellow psychonaut. I still have yet to grow the balls to order something from the silk road.
I want a truly shamanic experience, lights, colours, sound, you name it, but in the time i have been hear i have yet to decide.
HELP!
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Wish i could be a fellow psychonaut. I still have yet to grow the balls to order something from the silk road.
I want a truly shamanic experience, lights, colours, sound, you name it, but in the time i have been hear i have yet to decide.
HELP!
WHAT SMALLS!!! with 900+ posts and being a hero member i would assume you probably have already done some searching and reading on DMT.
We should probably start a new thread for this, as i don't see suicide options being the best discussion title for such an amazing experience as transcending to the ultimate plain of psychedelics. But anyways, you say you still haven't ordered anything from the silk road???? or something like DMT???? or are you just fucking with us ?????
Well anyways i truly believe in DMT, and i say if you haven't tried it ...well then you need to, because nothing in our human world OTHER than psychedelics, can replicate the extreme awesomeness of the human brain and show you literally how deep our imagination can go.
I also have a gut feeling telling me that that world or other side as i like to refer to it as, has more meaning to it than just some hallucination...but then again none of us can really prove any of that....but i definitely had that feeling of being with the divine and loving spirits...pretty much what i would consider god....
Dude i totally understand if you are nervous taking DMT...if i had any idea what i was in store for the first time... i probably wouldn't have done it... but....after i tried it once, only making it to the 2nd plateau....i had to see more....
And more i saw....then this one time... i broke through so fucking hard i didn't even remember who i was... i was this being of light in a forest world.... for what felt like an eternity... only to return back through time and space with entities...watching me or bringing me back to my body here in the real world. That was kinda it for me...as i was frightened to leave the spirit world... if that makes any sense...so anyways this scared the shit outta me and since then i have been sitting on my stash lmao.... but none the less i plan on going again... probably back to the forest world to continue whatever work i was doing there =P
Now i know this all sounds fucked... but like someone once put it to me, think about that trust game you did back in the day with your friends, where you fell backwards with your arms open to be caught? Well same thing here, you just have to trust me...wait fuck that, trust the UNIVERSE... it will catch you and show you literally the most paranormal experiences that any human being could have. Literally one of the most beautiful and memorable experiences of my life....
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smoke 500mg of DMT and Take 10 strip of LSD you WILL figure it out, or die there ya go
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DMT and try and find the person that died! ask the entities you see and stuff..
I was thinking about ODing on heroin. IV a whole gram or something....
but I decided against it :)
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We should probably start a new thread for this, as i don't see suicide options being the best discussion title for such an amazing experience as transcending to the ultimate plain of psychedelics. But anyways, you say you still haven't ordered anything from the silk road???? or something like DMT???? or are you just fucking with us ?????
Yeah of course, i post 491 times just to fuck with you.
Christ, paranoia seems to be a curse of the internet these days.
ANYWAY, i have tried many a drug in my time. Coke, weed, ketamine, MDMA, speed, nothing has really given me that much of a satisfactory outcome.
And then i read about something that the shamans use in their ceremonies, yaje, or as the best we can get, mushrooms.
This is the kind of psychadelic experience i am after, but people tell me that prices on the silk road are just to high or that you need to eat loads of it in order to get a proper trip.
Yeah, i am nervous as fuck, what do you expect, with all the different reviews and what have you.
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Like I said, I'd rather this not turn into a lecture about how I should keep on living. No one is dependent on me, and I have lost all hope since this person died, so I am content and have accepted my death. Thanks for any suggestions that come my way.
1) Stop taking food.
2) When you are tired and weak enough, and have had enough time to think through your decision thoroughly, stop taking water. Done deal. Simple.
3) If you don't follow through with 2), Never come to SR again seeking suicide drugs. Please. There are life enhancing uses for SR and its forums. Please don't ruin it for others.
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Like I said, I'd rather this not turn into a lecture about how I should keep on living. No one is dependent on me, and I have lost all hope since this person died, so I am content and have accepted my death. Thanks for any suggestions that come my way.
1) Stop taking food.
2) When you are tired and weak enough, and have had enough time to think through your decision thoroughly, stop taking water. Done deal. Simple.
3) If you don't follow through with 2), Never come to SR again seeking suicide drugs. Please. There are life enhancing uses for SR and its forums. Please don't ruin it for others.
You must not have read the entire thread??????
He's fine now. He was drunk when he posted and he's doing some better now.
Read the whole thread....... then comment and it will make more sense.
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We should probably start a new thread for this, as i don't see suicide options being the best discussion title for such an amazing experience as transcending to the ultimate plain of psychedelics. But anyways, you say you still haven't ordered anything from the silk road???? or something like DMT???? or are you just fucking with us ?????
Yeah of course, i post 491 times just to fuck with you.
Christ, paranoia seems to be a curse of the internet these days.
ANYWAY, i have tried many a drug in my time. Coke, weed, ketamine, MDMA, speed, nothing has really given me that much of a satisfactory outcome.
And then i read about something that the shamans use in their ceremonies, yaje, or as the best we can get, mushrooms.
This is the kind of psychadelic experience i am after, but people tell me that prices on the silk road are just to high or that you need to eat loads of it in order to get a proper trip.
Yeah, i am nervous as fuck, what do you expect, with all the different reviews and what have you.
it's perfectly normal to be nervous about taking psychedelics. i spent years reading about entheogens and shamanism before getting the guts to try them. i'd recommend starting out with a low dose of mushrooms (1/16 oz.) to get your feet wet--no need to jump right in. they are inexpensive and you definitely don't need much! be sure to have some weed around during a trip if it helps calm you down. but most importantly, read this: http://deoxy.org/psyexp.htm
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Shit, go overdose on heroin then. It's virtually painless and before you know it-you're a goner. But hey don't take my advice.
I read this and I got a little ticked off at first. Then I read reply from typtap and burst out laughing. :)
Didn't help when dieselpepper chipped in. You need to read the whole thread. Oh my god. You guys crack me ^.
You must not have read the entire thread??????
He's fine now. He was drunk when he posted and he's doing some better now
Thanks for the memories. I'm going to bed.
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it's perfectly normal to be nervous about taking psychedelics. i spent years reading about entheogens and shamanism before getting the guts to try them. i'd recommend starting out with a low dose of mushrooms (1/16 oz.) to get your feet wet--no need to jump right in. they are inexpensive and you definitely don't need much! be sure to have some weed around during a trip if it helps calm you down. but most importantly, read this: http://deoxy.org/psyexp.htm
Thankyou so much for this. Can you do me a favor and point me to something on the Silk Road market place?
It is giving me a headache looking through the huge choice of variety. If you find anything close, i will be happy to pay the seller and your good self some good BTC!!.
Thanks again in advance.
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it's perfectly normal to be nervous about taking psychedelics. i spent years reading about entheogens and shamanism before getting the guts to try them. i'd recommend starting out with a low dose of mushrooms (1/16 oz.) to get your feet wet--no need to jump right in. they are inexpensive and you definitely don't need much! be sure to have some weed around during a trip if it helps calm you down. but most importantly, read this: http://deoxy.org/psyexp.htm
Thankyou so much for this. Can you do me a favor and point me to something on the Silk Road market place?
It is giving me a headache looking through the huge choice of variety. If you find anything close, i will be happy to pay the seller and your good self some good BTC!!.
Thanks again in advance.
i highly suggest starting out with usashroomz's chocolate bars. ground up galindoi sclerotia (magic truffles) in chocolate. the trip is a bit different than a cubensis trip. they're about half as potent and i feel that they're gentler and more lucid than cubes. you can also communicate easier even at high doses (hence the name "philosopher's stones"). very good for a first timer.
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Okay, lol, and thankyou once again brother.
Do you have a link?
I have looked on the silk road before but perhaps all the options and choices out there, without really knowing what im doing, kinda put me off.
Many thanks.
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GHB. nuff said
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Okay, lol, and thankyou once again brother.
Do you have a link?
I have looked on the silk road before but perhaps all the options and choices out there, without really knowing what im doing, kinda put me off.
Many thanks.
i don't think he has listings at the moment, but he's been selling those chocolate bars pretty regularly for a while now, so i'm sure he'll have them up again soon. if you don't want to wait, just buy 1/8 of cubensis (not penis envy as they tend to be stronger) and eat half for your first trip. should be a good dose for your first time.
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This has got to be a joke...?
If you're gonna off yourself you're not gonna register on some forum and ask how to do it.
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I guess a better question is what to do before suicide. I mean if you are killing yourself you may as well do all kind of crazy things before.
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good call.
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Yep...you sound like a "perfect" candidate, for a powerful psychedelic experience..Mdma would prolly help .but i think 200mcg acid trip would really help.You would really have a chance to objectively evaluate,your situation.
A session with a close friend or sitter .prepared to talk with you about your issues.
I lost one of the closest people to me last year.I had a trip about 2 weeks after..I was able to deal with the whole situation ,and reach the root of my problems..That is what this substance does..1 trip lsd .followed by 1 experience Mdma a month later.
I think it could very well change your life.The decision is always yours ,but i think you it least owe it to yourself before making such a permenant choice...
But if i had to do it .I would probably go the heroin route.i can't imagine much pain with that.On opiates you don't care about nothing....
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Yep...you sound like a "perfect" candidate, for a powerful psychedelic experience..Mdma would prolly help .but i think 200mcg acid trip would really help.You would really have a chance to objectively evaluate,your situation.
A session with a close friend or sitter .prepared to talk with you about your issues.
I lost one of the closest people to me last year.I had a trip about 2 weeks after..I was able to deal with the whole situation ,and reach the root of my problems..That is what this substance does..1 trip lsd .followed by 1 experience Mdma a month later.
I think it could very well change your life.The decision is always yours ,but i think you it least owe it to yourself before making such a permenant choice...
But if i had to do it .I would probably go the heroin route.i can't imagine much pain with that.On opiates you don't care about nothing....
agree with this dude... BUT if you want a quick, painless way I would pick cyanide (potassium or sodium cyanide, mix it in water and drink it (maybe 1g-2g). PERMABAN.)
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Jesus Christ, am I the only one where "Heroin overdose" comes to mind for this sort of thing?
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Jesus Christ, am I the only one where "Heroin overdose" comes to mind for this sort of thing?
No however I'd choose fentanyl as I heard people who get heroin cut with fent die with needle still in their arm.. Thats pretty quick.
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You can keep j/o till you die. lol, j/k But i've actually heard of someone dying that way.
But seriously, Dude. I've been in your shoes before. I lost my best friend about 7 years ago. We did everything together. she was my best friend since i was 13 so it took a heavy toll on me. I imagined my life alone and wanted out. I tried twice and the second time i was rushed to the ER. I can honestly say, altough this is really not the best advice, but the only thing that got me through that was discovering heroin. It had a sort of anti-depressant effect on me. It helped numb the pain and i was able to tolerate the loneliness. at this point i was drinking every day and swallowing any drug i could. I Was smoking a lot of crack and drinking. Someone offered me heroin, i said, "sure, why not". And little by little, I kept going back to it because i thought, "hey, i'm gonna die anyways, so i might as well get addicted to heroin.:"
But it became something that made me want to walk around while high, talk to people. I started hanging out with my other friends. and the pain lifted. little by little, but it went away. also i was going down this downward spiral because 3 years before that, i was drugged and raped for 2 days in a hotel room. i felt shame, i felt like people thought i wanted it. i felt no one believed me and no one would believe me because i was such a drug addict. it took such strength to pull myself out of that. and now, almost 10 years later. I'm still recovering. I'm now on methadone and i can honestly say, recreational drug use was what helped me through some of the darkest times in my life i think. I wouldn't really just tell people to start doing drugs if you're suicidal. but i'm just sharing that i was once in a place where you are and i was able to pull out of that. I also thought about the people who loved me. how hurt they would be if i did it. though i must tell you, at the time i was such a mess that i thought no one really loved me. i was such a drunken asshole. always stealing for drugs and alcohol. but later i found out that i had a few people that loved me. so really, just try to forget about it for a while. maybe do some K or smoke some weed everyday. take some pain killers. do something that will give you euphoria. or do yoga or have a lot of sex. do something that little by little, you'll start to think, "i can get through this. I Want to live."
I hope this helped. If you're religious, pray. read books on depression, loneliness, pain. or funny books, watch a lot of comedy movies.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time. If you want to talk to someone, you can email me, Beefy@tormail.org
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:-X [REDACTED]
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It's probably too late after 10 years but I hope this sob or sobs get/s caught, hauled to jail and systematically sodomised on a daily basis. And if you have to drug somebody first in order to do this, because you don't want to risk a fight, you must be weak as sh*t. It really annoys me when I hear of these things happening. I hope you doing okay.
Like typtap said though, the OP has chilled out thanks to some MDMA (from memory), and the urge for suicide is hopefully gone forever. Haven't heard from him lately, but assume (hope) he's doing okay out here. btw, took me a week to realise Festivalia wasn't bin Laden.(His pic.)
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Jesus Christ, am I the only one where "Heroin overdose" comes to mind for this sort of thing?
My brother had a heroin problem for years, totally clean now though and doing well in rehab, actually he is the only clean one there from my personal experience of visiting him!
He always says though, even now, that heroin is like a warm blanket that you can just wrap yourself up in, hence the reason most users are homeless people, as was my brother.
Not a bad way to go, but thats just my opinion.
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Jesus, guys, you're killing me here. He's OKAY NOW. Have a beer and watch some Simpsons. :) Sheeeesh.....
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Trust me...it'll all be better eventually. As for suicide...I always figured I'd just OD on heroin... or drown myself... But those days are usually long gone. It's been a 20 year struggle.
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Supposedly its the end of the world on the 21st of december so you might as well just see this last week thorough at least.
And i tell you something, if i do reach the pearly gates and there is a so called judgment by god, fuck me, will i have a few good words to say to that cunt.
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This is the last place that I expected this calibre of support for someone in this position and frankly I'm pleasantly surprised (that's not queer right?). Anyway, whatever. It's been a few days now so if you're out there Suicide give us some closure on this topic and tell us you thought about what the others said and decided not to do it. Otherwise we might think otherwise, and that would not be good.
Lot of frankness on this thread RE peopl's experiences with suicide. Not going into MY life, but I'm glad others did. Thumbs up. When I get to 100 I'm going to come back to this thread and give every fucking one (nearly) +3 Karma. Hands down this has been the least bitchiest thread yet. Well fucking done. :) (If you say I'm gay though (or a shemale) for writing this I'll give you a goddamn throat smiley....)
TY for that Raz. I always knew I could count on you. As promised,
+1 LeoTheLion (holy crap, where'd you pick ^ THAT much -Karma from!), CaptainMal, lesseroftwoweevils, SpaceCrabs, Festivalia, WinterMoon, Suicide. I'll get to the others after this 72 hour thing. Are you even ON these forums anymore Suicide?
(Yeah I KNOW it's +1 not +3 but I'm not finished yet am I?)
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Carbon monoxide poisoning is supposed to be relatively painless.
However before you do anything you might regret I recommend listening to a song I like when I'm feeling down.
Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings
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What a crock of shit
You obviously want to talk it out and get support otherwise you would not have posted anything.
The ones that do , do it and are found the next day. They don't post stuff like you
I think suicide is fucking selfish and for the weak minded who cannot see another way out of their situation or feelings (the terminally ill don't fall into this section). People need to find a way of coping that suits that individual
No life taken was a life worth keeping.
It's the loved ones that are left behind i feel for. not the turds who flush the gift of life away
Peace and happiness to all
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The best and worse job I had was counselling children who has attempted to commit suicide.
It was a job that changed my perception of life and one which eventually I had to take a break from as you cannoy help but get emotionally involved.
Sadly, the internet now means the kids I might have conselled (all of which recovered, some famously so) will be too wise as the mechanics of suicide and although I have done breavement counselling, that was nothing really, its easy as its something everyone usually goes through unless they die young.
The people who sell suicide kits online, are scum.
People who woul;d give advise on the besy ways, I'd ban from this site. Drugs are a celebration of life! For some of us - its the special weekend, and soon its Christmas when suicidal people feel bad because they see the happiness and wish they had some.
I have been there myself. But the thing is to never give in. Suicide has nothing to do with what you have. A person may have someone who they love and who loves them - they may have money, a nice car, decent savings and a job that will always be there.
Mostly its lonliness. Children find it easy to convey this, adults usually always hide or feel shame over it.
Anyway, the internet allows those with depression to converse with each other. I advise joining a 'pro-life' site - not a religious happy clappy one - just a site that makes clear its for support and not for people to get advice on carbom monoxide poisoning, which, I might add, can leave you a very much alive but slurred speech, wheel-chair bound, nurse changing the nappy type of person.
Best way to die is to live long enough. It will happen, 100% guarentee. So, right now, you can live and I know one thing, people find their feet in their own time. Suicide is not a cowards way but unless your facing horades of Afghani insurgents and have one bullet lieft, it is not a good way to go, leave little inspiration for the mourners and a suiicide, is usuallly a shit after party. Who would take mdma at a after funeral party from a guy who hung himself?
So please, if your down, forget the assholes here, join a forum that is dedicated to help but bear in mind that you got to help others to get help. Its give and take.
I'm not supposed to keep in touch with the children I have helped, but the parents keep in touch till the children are 18.
Adults are a lot harder. Many paid me basically to just talk. I advised all to go to a pub twice a week. Quiz night (drink little) and Friday or Saturday might when you can drink a few. I would NEVER advise anyone took any anti Ds but concede that for some, they worked, and made that mood swing to the positive.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was maybe the best new school of thought in counselling.
Almost everyone feels like suicide at some point in life. Talking about it helps. In fact, its keeping it in which pushed people to come to a conclusion that the world would be better off without them. Well, some guy, some girl, kills themselves, someone they would have met, now meets nobody or the wrong person and the world changes, just because of one person who thought they did not matter.
We all matter.
And if your feeling depressed right now, be careful with the drugs - don't use them to combat depression, and beware the stimulants which do take away depression vut have a payback price healthwise and youre mind also.
I would offer free counsellling but I do not do that as so many year in the field, the emotuional commitment exhausted me. Its a career that I will return to but right now I'm writing this and getting paid plus meeting somne guy later on who I buy a meal for and maybe get him some drugs! If he wants, I been told, the guys rock and rolls and is a great client. So got a stash of C, E, vals, Dex, lsd, 2 crates (24) of lager and one of bitter and 24 bottles of bud plus vodjka, whiskey, rum, brandy and gin. And smokewise? We got bud of the finest heritage, oil of a delectable disposition and hash which is just a delight and pure 100% UK, No1, 2 and 3 plus some N0 3 with oil in it so it looks like charas.
Also, the surprise one, we got some shrroms off a good friend who has one of those kits and who uses spore collectedt to create a mini mushroom factory! Many edible but many exotic ones that get you high as a kite.
So, knowing my luck he likes heroin! That is one drug I really have nothing to do with. Cannot justify selling it or getting it as a favour. My boss agree and thinks a client on heroin is a risk. We so work on a buy now pay later scheme. so you can see the concern!
Anyway, suicide,its an option, but so is life, plus life is far more interesting.
At one time my life was fuck all. Homless. Not a penny.
Depression, its just something you have to find the right strategy to deal with!!!!
Like if you have a bad leg, you compensate to make walking better.
With depression, you have life to compensate with. Its what you do that puts you in a mood, be it good or bad.
Also the people youj are with.
If you want to know who is really a friend, tell them you have depression. If they listen, and call nest day, youknow they ARE a real friend!
Good luck.
We will find a cure soon anyways.
Its DNA they say so do not worry because your worry is just DNA kicking in!
If your really fucked up ask the doc for Valium. At least that worked in cases of real depression. Now its all P:rozac and other shit. Thing is no anti deppression drug is sold by dealers apart from dizaepam, Valium by Roche!
Besy way to defeat depression is accept it, research it, but do more because anyone with a tendency to get depression will be no good with boredom!!
Have hobbies, read a lot, or find someone to love.
NEVER just think your nothing. That is self pity bullshit. Someone, out there, would be so grateful to have you as a friend!
And if you have been bullied - fuck those bullies - life will eat them up - let it - you were hurt but your stronger for it and might be able to help kids whose suicide fixation is often low self esteeem nurtured by bullying.
Good luck out there.
Any bullies want to bully someone bully me!
I'll have you on the flloor in 10 seconds.
Crying in 30 seconds.
I'd be a cat, you the mouse!
;D
Miiooowwww!
puuurrrrr.
Be strong!
NEVER keep depression to yourself.
And if your here to think this is funny - fuck you asshole - I'd kick your ass but sadly we are unable to meet for a fight which I know I'd win because Red is pretty much trained in lot of shit that means even the 6 foot 7 monster is easy really. No, I never use weapons. But have used them when people produce them and I confiscate the weapon and use it on the perp! Been doing boxing since 8 and martial arts when 4. I always advised bullied kids to do martial arts and my advise came from way way back.
And, if you think your not looking so great, check out the models who all look like they do at least 2 grams of No 1 heroin plus take 3 grams of crack for a nightcap. They look like death warmed up!
Depression, suicide, all of that, its a touchy subject but best be honest and inform people we all have tendancy to want to die sometimes life is mostly 99% graft and 1% joy.
Its the 1% that matters. The shit we take to get there, is just life happening.
Anyhow, my own counselling is a ramdom stranger at a bar when I drink seven pints of beer and a few chasers.
With coke, it would hotel room, hooker and even watch TV, now its the missus and she hogs the coke and worse, does not want wierd sex on coke! Damn! Maybe I should avoid getting her my usual present! Or just accept she won't dress up like a vampire and let Red corner the vampire and do the undead from behind.
;D
The meaningf of life? Easy.
Its in the living of it you find meaning.
;)
You'll be ok - just don'r keep this shit to yourself or Red will get you!
:o
Well not right now, got this oil see, and am sprawled on the sofa, am becoming 'as one' with the sofa.
;D
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Jesus Fucking Christ, people, OP IS PAST THE IMPULSE TO COMMIT SUICIDE. SO STOP GIVING ADVICE AND STOP BITCHING THAT YOU'RE SOOO SURE THEY'RE FULL OF SHIT AND LET THE TOPIC DIE.
Jesus H Christ. (Hey that's my one :( ) redalloverthelandguyhere, read up top a little. We've been saying this for a while lol. Still, I liked you post so +1 for being supportive.
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redalloverthelandguyhere nice post.
We all matter.?
Or does nothing really matter so why give a shit.
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redalloverthelandguyhere nice post.
We all matter.?
Or does nothing really matter so why give a shit.
We give a shit because we are human.
But then again, it is apparently the end of the world on the 21st of December so right now i do not know where i stand on that. ;D
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redalloverthelandguyhere nice post.
We all matter.?
Or does nothing really matter so why give a shit.
We give a shit because we are human.
But then again, it is apparently the end of the world on the 21st of December so right now i do not know where i stand on that. ;D
You were right to add "apparently" lol. btw, if our timezoneis ahead of you guys by almost a day, do we we get wiped out first???? ??? I'll send you an SMS from hell and tell you how I died.
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As promised, Part II +Karma sh*t for positive posters RE Suicide.
+1 tango, pakak1, ErgoProxy, Barbijuana, typtap, wetdog, Flush (despite conflicting messages! ??? ), thedopestjunkie, MeatMittens, Slicksuit, [typtap, Festivalia, SpaceCrabs, goblin already done] oldtoby (pic looks like Gandolf though), shunyata, Adasel, nopuke, Psychonaughty, thecrackhead, AyKay, AliBabba, Red Rama (despite previous post).
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* Custom bump for limi *
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Please don't' top your self. Might as well just stay comfortable and enjoy bits of life as you can every now and then.
Carbon monoxide bottled gas is meant to be good as it knocks you out then asphyxiates you.
The danger is though that you will be too dead to turn off the canister of CO and it will seep into the flat below killing the occupants of that flat.
Or someone who finds your body will not realize that they are standing in a deadly atmosphere and pass out and die.
So it would not just be yourself that you are hurting. You would be potentially murdering others too.
And CO is a greenhouse gas I think. Think of the environment and think of all the children's futures too.