LOL. You smoked a breakthrough dose of DMT. As your eyes adjusted to the kaleidoscopic fractals, Phil Zimmerman's face appeared, and he said, Let me tell you about the 6 bits of reality... 1 Bit: You ask me for a PGP key, and I give you a raccoon. 2 Bits: You ask me for a PGP key, but it turns out I don't really exist. Where I was originally standing, a QR code rests on the ground. 3 Bits: You awake as a PGP key. You start screaming only to have entropy fly from your lips. The world is in sepia. 4 Bits: Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a prime. Your grandfather stares at you as the prime falls apart into the Fibonacci sequence. You look down only to see me with exponents for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe. 5 Bits: You ask for a PGP key, I give you a PGP key. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the PGP key in your hands. There are children at the top of the stairs. A zero shifts uneasily under the one. The children are crying now. I give you a PGP key. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a PGP key. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You factor the PGP key. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a PGP key. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a PGP key. 6 Bits: You ask me for a PGP key. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as an ocelot. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a PGP key as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog eats primes for the rest of its natural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and your soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands. You look at the child and realize that he is you, and you are me. In an instant the universe makes sense. You open the note in your hand it says, Please, encrypt your address.